The Stupid Quest
by KirbyXtreme
Summary: My first FanFic. Louie and Olimar MUST find the President's rubber ducky! But will they stop being total idiots and at least try? Hint: No. Every Pikmkin is unique, one is obsessed with bathrooms... PLEASE R&R!
1. Day 1 Meet the idiotic legends

**PROLOGUE**

Pod- Landing in progress... Please secure and fasten your seat-belts, and we'd like to remind you that this is a non-smoking flight, and please, als-

Louie: Shut up.

Olimar looked down. It has been only a week since he was here last time, in the planet inhabited by Pikmin. As he looked out the window, he saw that the ground was covered in white, fluffy-looking stuff that we call snow.

The three were on a mission to save Hocotate Freight, which ran into some financial difficulties. His job was to collect all the treasure, with the help of Louie and the Pod, and most importantly, Pikmin.

Pod- Landing successful. We will need a full day to start our quest, so go to sleep, idiots.

Olimar: There is no need to tell us, we know. Good night.

Louie: I ain't sleeping! I wanna play GameCube all day! I wanna pillow fight! I wanna eat! I wanna- zzzzz...

Olimar: He fell asleep. I'm sure I won't- zzzzz...

**DAY 1- MEET THE (IDIOTIC) LEGENDS**

Olimar woke up. It was day one, the first day of his mission. He slowly got up and yawned. He stretched his arms but there was not enough space. He was in a spaceship. Louie was next to him, still sleeping. There was saliva at the corners of his mouth. Olimar knew that he was dreaming about him eating bugs. Louie loved bugs. He even wrote a book containing all the recipes he came up with.

Olimar: Louie wake up. We don't want to be late on the first day.

Louie slowly stood up.

Louie: Damn. I was getting to the good part, where I put the Dweevil on the frying pan. You just HAD to wake me up, didn't ya, captain?

They both put on their space suites. They were about to go outside, on a world where there is a deadly oxygen: oxygen.

Olimar: Pod, get us out.

Pod- Bzrrt... initiating out sequence... get ready to be wildly thrown outside and crash-land on your head in 3... 2... 1...

Olimar and Louie were tossed outside and landed on their heads.

Olimar: What's that?

In front of them were four red Pikmin fighting a small bulborb. Four, one was sleeping far away from them. Olimar whistled and got their attention. The Pikmin remembered Olimar from the last journey, so they all ran and got to Olimar (yes, the sleeping one too). Olimar flung them on the Bulborb and it died. He quickly taught Louie how to command them. Louie seemed to understand. As the 5 red Pikmin came back to Olimar, they wondered what the ship was.

"Yo, homie, what the fuck is that there, dude?"

Another red spoke. "Joe, don't speak like that. Daddy is watching us from heaven right now. Oh, why did you have to die daddy, why?"

A third one joined the conversation. "How did your father die, Bob?"

"A big orange thing blew him away near a floating jellyfish that sucked him up, then it fell down and daddy got released, only to be greeted by a flying bug that grabbed him and threw him on the ground, where he lay until a big crab ate him, chocked, and spit him back out, hitting a big rock with two big arms that threw him away, landing on a beetle that carried him away, in a hole on the floor. Me and Joe watched him die, James, we watched him die!"

"Wow. Your father has been through a lot."

Joe said, "Well, dude, what is that like, colossally huge thing? It's like... colossally huge."

A forth joined. "I am hypothesizing that it is colossally huge."

"Shut up, you flippin' nerd."

"Don't call me nerd. I don't understand how you survived the battle against the Emperor Bulblax, you and your stupidity..."

"I told you, friekin' Leo, I put on my dirty sock and it just spit me out after it like, ate me, gosh. Dude, his tongue was like, totally nasty... After that thing tasted me it stayed away from me for the rest of the battle. Yeah, that was hip."

"Ooh, so that was not a bomb..."

The fifth one looked helpless. "Boys, who understands them? I, Christine, am the only girl Red Pikmin who survived the battle against the Emperor Bulblax and actually didn't die since Red Leader left off."

Well, finally the Pikmin came back behind Olimar. Of course, Olimar and Louie couldn't understand anything they said, and vice-versa. Olimar, who was smarter and wiser than Louie, decided that they should explore the place. So, he grabbed three reds and gave two to Louie.

Louie: Why do I get two and you get three? That ain't fair!

Olimar: I am far more experienced than you. Well, good luck. Let's go explore the place. Wherever you see 1 Pellets, let your Pikmin carry it back. Then follow them. We might find out where their onion is. I'll meet you there. You go left, I go right.

Louie and Olimar divided, and looked for the red onion. Louie had Joe and Leo, the idiot and the nerd. Olimar had Bob, James, and Christine.

Olimar went off to the right, and saw a small bulborb. He flung a single Pikmin at it, which hit it on the head. The bulborb died instantly. He threw the other two at the dead carcass and the Pikmin started carrying it back.

"Is it just me, or do I smell something?"

"It's the smell of the dead guy, Bob."

"Hm. Boys. Always talking about how things smell. First the stinky sock and now the dead bulborb. Red Leader just wants us to do all this stuff. Oh, well... which way was our onion, James?"

"This way."

Olimar followed the three Pikmin towards the onion.

**meanwhile...**

Louie found a small 1 pellet, and remembering what Olimar said, he flung a Pikmin at it. Then, he flung the other, and they started bringing it back. Louie listened as the Pikmin started talking a foreign language.

"Hey, dude, how 'bout we suddenly turn around and kill the Blue Leader? We could force him to cook himself so that we can eat him! I am just like, totally sick of the canned bread and fish..."

"Blue Leader may be dumb, Joe, but we shouldn't do something like that. Now, our onion is this way."

"How do ya know, punk? I say it's this way!"

"I'm the smart one here, and I say the onion is this way!"

"You're a nerd."

"Well, at least that's better than being a jerk!"

Louie looked at the 2 red Pikmin. One was trying to carry it towards a red structure, while the other was trying to pull it towards the water. Louie did not get it, and he got confused.

"It's this way! If we go where you think the onion is, we'll go in the water!"

"The onion is over the water, homie!"

"If we go in the water, we'll drown! Now, do what I do."

"Do what I do."

"OK, now come this way."

"OK, now come this way."

"Stop copying me."

"Stop copying me."

"It's not funny."

"It's very funny."

"I'm a nerd!"

"I'm... not saying that, homie! I'm a cool G-dog! Yeah! This is my hood, and I choose where to go!"

"God, were you born without a brain?"

"Gosh, think, you nerd! If I have a brain now, how can that be possible, homie?"

"What if you have no brain?"

"What if I do?"

**meanwhile...**

Olimar followed the three red Pikmin until they finally reached the onion. They left the carcass under the red light and the onion sucked in the bulborb. More seeds were released by the onion. Olimar plucked them out of the ground. Each new Pikmin called out his or her name when plucked for the first time.

"Mario!"

"Tim!"

"Devon!"

Christine hurried over to Devon.

"Yes! A girl! Hey, Devon, we can do all sorts of stuff now! We can color our fingernails red, and do all sort of girly stuff! And I finally won't have to sleep near BOYS anymore!"

"Uhm... Christine?"

"Yes, James?"

"Pikmin do not have fingernails. And by the way, even if we would have them, painting them red won't do any good, as nobody will notice that."

"Whatever."

Olimar looked in the distance for Louie and the other two red Pikmin. He found them. Olimar noticed that the two were carrying a red 1 pellet. He thought that Louie was doing a good job until he saw where the Pikmin were going to: a lake. Olimar quickly dismissed all six of his Pikmin and hurried over to Louie.

"Why'd he dismiss us?"

"Because he did, Tim."

"It's a Mario time!"

"I HATE THAT GAME! Mario, don't ever say that again."

"Why do you hate it, Bob?"

"Because it's well... too pink, Devon."

"What's wrong with pink?"

"Well, Christine, it's... it doesn't fit well with action and adventure. I mean, imagine a pink background with flowers while Mario is body slamming Bowser..."

"One day we will find pink Pikmin! We will!"

"Hey guys, red and Blue Leader are coming back with Joe and Leo."

"James is right. Look, everyone. Red Leader seems to be mad to Blue Leader."

Olimar: Louie! How many times have I told you not to go near bodies of water with red or yellow Pikmin? I told you that they would all just drown! I have also told you to read my diary I wrote while trapped in this planet the first time! Have you read it?

Louie: Olimar, captain, it is not my fault! I'm telling ya, the 2 mins were fighting over the pellet! See? It is all stretched out!

Olimar turned to see the pellet, but it was too late, as it was sucked in by the onion.

Olimar: Yeah, right. Let's just forget about it, but remember, learn from your mistakes!

Louie: Bah.

Louie and Olimar plucked the two new Pikmin.

"Billy!"

"Joanna!"

"Yes! Another girl! Come here, Joanna!"

"Coming, girls!"

"'Sup Billy dude! Come, I'll teach you how to snap your fingers even if you don't have 'em!"

"Cool!"

Olimar and Louie counted the Pikmin. There appeared to be 10 overall. Olimar decided to do the same as before, split up and look for more pellets and enemies.

Louie walked away from the lake with Joanna, Devon, Christine, Bob, and Joe. He soon found a big white gate blocking the way to a red 5 pellet. He tried to remember what section A67-12AB on Olimar's diary was like, and he finally remembered. 'To destroy white gates, either swarm Pikmin at it, or throw them there. The more Pikmin, the quicker the gate will fall. Also, if the Pikmin are flowers, they will work 1.5 times quicker than leaf. Bud Pikmin increase the speed by 1.25.'. He decided to throw rather than swarm, just because it seemed more fun. He threw them all onto the white gate. They started working instantly.

"Hm. Girls shouldn't be doing all of this work. Right, girls?"

"Yeah!"

"Right!"

"Girls, we are Pikmin, made to serve our masters with fun. Girls or not girls, we must work."

"Quiet, Bob."

"Hey, duda! Only I, Joe, can cuss at my brother or tell him to shut up."

"Thanks, Joe- Hey!"

"What is a duda?"

"What? You want me to call ya dude?"

"Oh."

**meanwhile...**

Olimar and his five red Pikmin (James, Mario, Leo, Billy, and Tim) walked towards the water. Olimar was careful and avoided contact with it. He stopped in front of a Dwarf Red Bulborb. He easily threw five on it and they all started carrying it back after killing it.

"Always working, ain't we?"

"You're right, James. We should rest sometimes."

"It's a Mario time!"

"Is that all you can say, Mario?"

"Bowser! You a goin' down!"

"OK..."

**meanwhile...**

Louie's Pikmin were bringing down the wall. A minute later they finally did. Louie swarmed them towards the 5 pellet, and they brought it down. Then, they started carrying it. Louie listened as the Pikmin started talking in a foreign language once again.

"'Sup fellas! Hey bro, let's kill blue guy, K?"

"Killing Blue Leader would not be a nice thing, Joe."

"Death is cool."

"Boys. Always talking about dead stuff."

"Shut up, Devon."

"Don't tell a girl to shut up, you no-brainer!"

**meanwhile...**

Olimar and his Pikmin finally got to the onion. The reds placed the carcass on the red light and three Pikmin were released and plucked from the ground.

"Luigi!"

"Karina!"

"Lauren!"

Olimar: Nice. Three plus ten is thirteen, and that's good.

Olimar noticed something shining. He walked towards it after dismissing his eight Pikmin. It was a DURACELL Battery. Olimar studied it and discovered that it needed twenty Pikmin to carry. Him and Louie currently had thirteen Pikmin, and as long as Louie was carrying back a red 5 pellet, everything was going to be OK and they could carry the battery back, as it was treasure and is worth money. Olimar looked back and saw Louie with his five reds carrying back a red 5 pellet. Olimar went back and ordered his Pikmin to help Louie's reds carry back the pellet. In no time the pellet was sucked in by the onion and seven Pikmin were released. Olimar and Louie quickly plucked them all out of the ground, and each said their name out loud so that everyone could hear.

"Sabrina!"

"Luis!"

"Robert!"

"Junior!"

"Lafunduh!"

"William!"

"Michael!"

Olimar: Well, what do you know. We have exactly twenty Pikmin. Good job, partner.

Louie: Yeah, captain.

Olimar: I saw a DURACELL Battery back there, and it needs twenty Pikmin to carry it back to the ship. It could be worth lots of money, who knows. Follow me!

Olimar lead Louie and the twenty red Pikmin to the battery and swarmed them around it to carry it back.

"This thing is heavy!"

"Yeah, Robert, I agree with you."

"I can't make it! We'll never get back to the large ship in time! The day is going to end..."

"So that's what the heck it is! I thought it was a washing machine or like, something. Thanks, Junior dude."

"Uhm... Joe... I still don't get the snapping without fingers..."

"I told you! Just grab a freakin' Dwarf Red Bulborb's toe and use it as your finger, gosh!"

"EWW!"

"Shut up, Karina!"

"Shut up yourself, idiot!"

"Gee, thanks."

"You seem to have taken it pretty well, Luis."

"I am used to it, Junior. Not that it makes me sad or angry, no."

"Here we are!"

The reds placed the heavy battery under the light and the pod sucked it in.

Pod- The artifact is worth... 280 Pokos. I decide to call it the Courage Reactor.

Louie: Cool! With 280 Pokos I can buy a house with a swimming pool, a backyard 200 yards wide, and eighteen bathrooms!

Pod- The day is about to end, and according to Captain Olimar's diary there are ferocious creatures that eat Pikmin here. You two go in the ship and sleep, after ordering your red Pikmin to go back to their onion. The onion should fly over here, so that tomorrow you can call out your Pikmin easily. Good night and GO TO SLEEP!

Olimar and Louie did as the Pod told them to do, and the Pikmin went to their onion.

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

"What's for dinner?"

"God, Lauren, shut up!"

"Shut up yourself, you Joe nimrod!"

"SHUT UP EVERYONE!"

Devon and Joanna came walking into the room, holding two giant plates with food on. They set both on the large table where all the others were waiting. The plates were neatly arranged, as both Devon and Joanna liked to make things neat.

"Today for dinner is... Two Dwarf Red Bulborbs, one spicy and with a beautifully arranged pellet, the other fried and with bread. There is also some pellet sauce if you'd like. All of you have to eat the oiled pellet, if you like it or not. You need your nutrients. EAT UP!"

Joanna and Devon sat down. All of the Pikmin reached across the table and ripped off a part of each Bulborb. The room was filled with talking and the blablablas. Everyone was chattering. Next to each others, the two brothers Joe and Bob, James, and Junior were talking about what might happen the next day.

"Hey, maybe we'll get to go in a cave! Remember, Joe, that time when we were trapped in that jellyfish's body? That was awesome!"

"Yeah, bro, I remember. Yeah..."

"Tell me about it."

"Well, Junior, me and Joe decided to get out of the onion one day. Obviously, you were not there. Joe decided to explore a cave, and I thought that would be nice, so we went in a place with lots of water. We could not swim, so we just avoided it. We got in a sublevel filled with floating jellyfishes. Joe, as crazy as he is, wandered off towards the biggest one. I hurried over to him as quickly as possible, but at that moment it sucked up both. The inside was actually great, we could see anything from up there. We were flying! And we also-"

"Yeah, dude. The place was like, jelly-fishy-like! It was full of jelly! DUD-"

"Joe, don't interrupt. Well, we got out thanks to a rock that fell from above. It hit the jellyfish and it fainted. Then we left. That was a beautiful experience."

In the meantime, DA GIRLS were chatting.

"Nice dinner, Joanna and Devon."

"Thanks, Karina."

"..."

"Lafunduh, why don't you ever speak?"

"'Cuz, Devon..."

"Well, have you girls seen the nice bracelet the six orange Pikmin were selling the other day?""Yeah, Sabrina, I remember... Once the leaders are going to be done with whatever they are doing here, maybe we can meet them again. Lauren, where did they live again?"

"Well, Christine, if I am correct, I would say it's at... Tree number 12867 in New Pik City. Yeah, they were on the tree and were selling beautiful bracelets, along with many other pendants, jewels, and rings. And the one of the guys who sold them was SOO cute!"

"I especially liked the golden bracelet with the little, although beautiful, heart in the middle!"

Devon and Joanna got up and grabbed the oiled pellet, which was on a large plate. It was untouched. Both of them got two spoons and started putting some in each plate of the twenty red Pikmin.

"Hey, Billy dude!"

"Yeah, Joe?"

"If ya eat my oiled pellet, you'll grow strong and cool! You can have it!"

"Don't trust him, Billy, I ate mine and nothing happened. It was good, though."

"OK, Robert, I won't."

"GOD! Now I hate to eat this crap?"

"EVERYBODY ATTENTION!"

Everyone looked at Michael, who just said that.

"We are soon going to be departing on a short voyage to the leader's ship! Everybody finish your dinner and clean the table! You have five minutes!"

Five minutes later, when the table was neatly folded away and everyone but Michael was sleeping, the onion started moving. Michael, the pilot, was piloting the onion, and in less than ten minutes, they reached the ship. On the way, Michael spotted a strange creature and had to make a sharp curve.

**END OF DAY 1- MEET THE (IDIOTIC) LEGENDS**

_7/26/05- Edited the chapter... underlined, bold and capitalized headings. More detail in Christine's first speech. Louie says 'Bah' instead of 'grunt'. In the Pod's last speech it says something different. That's it..._


	2. Day 2 Weird Stuff

**DAY 2- WEIRD STUFF**

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

"My back hurts and I did not get to sleep at all tonight!"

It is morning, time for the Red Pikmin to wake up. Devon and Joanna woke up earlier to make some breakfast.

"OK everyone, for breakfast we got some leftovers from yesterday's fried Dwarf Red Bulborb! Also, we made some jam and got some bread. There is some carrot-flavored cereal and some oatmeal made from some pellets. Some chocolate-filled croissant is also there if some of you like sweet stuff. Enjoy."

"Yum yum."

After everybody was done talking and eating, they set the table away and Sabrina made an announcement.

"Everybody, if I could have your attention for a moment, please. Thank you. As you all know, Red Pikmin are mostly known and feared because of their resistance to fire and unique powerful attacks. So, I have decided that every single morning, we shall wake up, eat a nutritious breakfast, and then go to either the Training Room, or, if you don't want to fight and just relax, go to the Rec Room. If you want to go to the Training Room, follow me. If you want to go to the Rec Room, follow me until the hallway ends, and then go to your right into the Rec Room. Everybody, let's go!"

Joe, Bob, Devon, Tim, Joanna, Karina, Sabrina, and Luis decided to go to the training room, and Christine, James, Mario, Luigi, Billy, Leo, Lauren, Robert, Junior, Lafunduh, William, and Michael decided to go to the Rec Room.

"Exactly what is in the Training Room, Sabrina?"

"Well, Tim, the Training Room is actually four rooms. In the first room, there are a couple of fire geysers. We are immune to fire, but every time we pass through it, we sweat and lose some of our energy. Our goal is to destroy the geysers. The second room is filled with many weights and many energy drinks to make us strong again and ready for the last two rooms. There is also a computer in there. On it, we regulate the power of the enemies on the next two rooms. 1 is 'easy', and 10 is 'extremely hard'. I can assure that 'extremely hard' is almost impossible. Luckily, the enemies cannot kill any of us, but if we get hit, we may lose flowers and lose power. Also, the enemies regenerate power when they die. New enemies will appear after killing the current ones, the Gatlink Groink and the Fiery Blowhog. OK?"

****"OK."

Everybody entered a room. on the far side was a locked door. Sabrina unlocked it and talked.

"Five Pikmin can fit in room 1, so we'll go five at a time. When you are done, wait in room 2. Who wants to go first?"

Joe, Bob, Joanna, Karina, and Devon entered first. They entered the room and Sabrina closed the door. There were five geysers. Joe ran up to one and just destroyed with one REALLY powerful hit. The geyser literally exploded. A new one appeared at the same place. Joe waited in front of the door to room 2, waiting for the other four Pikmin.

"OMG! Joe, you are strong! You just KILLED the geyser!"

"Yes, Joanna, he got that from our father. I am strong too, but not as much as Joe is. Well, here I go."

Bob slowly walked towards a geyser and got to the other side of it by crossing the fire. He instantly felt tired. He was sweating. He HATES it when he sweats. He was so angry that he was sweating and tired that he jumped on the geyser, shouted "AARGH!" and with a mighty powerful hit from his leaf, destroyed the geyser. He sat next to Joe. Joanna, Devon, and Karina had a hard time stopping the geysers, but they eventually made it. All five of them entered room 2.

**meanwhile...**

In the Rec Room, Christine and Lauren were trying on some bracelets, earrings, and rings. James was sleeping. Billy and Leo were reading. Robert and Junior were playing rock, paper and scissors. Michael was watching Mario and Luigi playing PikCube, and William was playing his flute. Lafunduh was just sitting there.

**meanwhile...**

Luis, Sabrina and Tim entered after the others. There were three geysers shooting out flames. Tim crossed the fire and lost some health. With some difficulty, he made it. He went in room 2. Next, Luis walked up to another geyser and with a couple of powerful hits, destroyed the geyser. He patiently waited for Sabrina to finish, and when she was done, they both went into the next room to find Tim drinking and others exercising and lifting some weights. Luis and Sabrina joined them, and when everybody had enough, Sabrina spoke.

"Everyone, we are about to go in the next rooms. There are two enemies in them. A Gatlink Groink and a Fiery Blowhog await there. I want everyone who wants to fight the Gatlink Groink to raise their hands."

Sabrina raised her hands, and only two others raised their hands. They were Luis and Joe. All the others decided to go in the room containing the Fiery Blowhog. Sabrina reminded Joe that dirty and smelly socks were not allowed. Strangely, Joe responded without cussing. Actually, he talked like a regular Pikmin for once. Sabrina made an announcement.

"You know the rules! Unless you want to keep fighting, exit the room after killing the enemy! Fiery Blowhog people, your enemy's difficulty level will be 6, while the Gatlink Groink will be at level 5. Everybody in your rooms!"

Sabrina, Luis and Joe entered the room. They saw a big creature that looked like a mixture of a fish with legs and a shield with a gun for a mouth. All three of them knew that to kill it, they had to hit the soft back of the guy. The Gatlink Groink noticed them and turned in their direction.

"OK guys, let's get serious."

"Wow, Joe, you actually talk well."

"Yes, Luis, when in battle I get more intelligent. Now, the moment it starts to shoot at us, we have to spread out. Luis, you and Sabrina go to the left, his right. I'll go to the right, his left. It is going to be confused and shoot probably in your direction, so I'll attack it. Then, you two spread out. Whichever one of you it is going to shoot at, the other one attacks. We repeat the same process over and over again when/if it shakes us off. ATTACK!"

The Gatlink Groink shot three beams at them but they spread out and it missed. Then, Luis and Sabrina ran left, and Luis to the right. As planned, the Gatlink Groink shot at the larger group, so Joe started hitting it hard. Then, Luis and Sabrina separated and the Groink shot at Luis, so Sabrina attacked. Luis was just moving around, so that the Gatlink Groink would not hit him.

**meanwhile...**

In the Fiery Blowhog Room, the moment the Pikmin entered, they attacked the lone Blowhog while it was looking the other direction. Everyone jumped, held on tight to the enemy, and started bringing it down. The Blowhog shook them off him and started blowing fire. Many Pikmin were hit, but they jumped on it and attacked. It shook them all off and all five of them went slamming on the wall. The Fiery Blowhog blew fire again and all the reds got tired. Bob was MAD. He screamed in rage and ran at top speed at the gray elephant and started hitting it. The other four were watching the Fiery Blowhog's health drop quickly. It died. Its power started regenerating.

"So, who wants to do this again?"

Nobody spoke, they just looked at Bob with their mouths open. Then, slowly, all four walked out of the room.

"Well, I guess it's just gonna be me!"

**meanwhile...**

After the Groink shook them off, it shot. A beam almost hit Luis, and he slammed against the wall. He was very tired. Sabrina quickly went to him.

"Are you all right, Luis?"

Sabrina helped Luis get up and they both looked at Joe, who was doing a great job but still could not do it alone. They jumped on the Groink, attached to it, and started hitting it with their leaves. Finally, it exploded, and the body laid there, the health regenerating. All three of them were tired and got out. Sabrina locked the door.

They saw everyone but Bob drinking some energy drinks. The sat down and started drinking, too. Joe asked for Bob, and he found out that he was in the Fiery Blowhog's room after killing it three times already.

"HEY, BRO! YOU NEED SOME HELP?"

"YEAH, THAT WOULD BE NICE! AND PLEASE, MAKE IT A HIGHER LEVEL! ABOUT 8 OR 9 WOULD BE FINE!"

Joe went in the room, and Sabrina changed the Blowhog's difficulty level to 9. Suddenly, they heard the two in there scream. They heard loud 'bang!'s and the merciless Blowhog blowing fire. Luis walked to Sabrina.

"Hey, Sabrina, thanks for helping me up before in the Gatlink Groink's room."

"You are welcome."

Finally, the two brothers came out of the room. they were half brown and covered in sweat. Tim threw them two drinks. They did not seem to notice due to the fatigue, so the drinks just hit them in the head.

"GOD! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU! I WAS ALL WORKING MY BUT OFF OUT THERE AND YOU JUST THROW A FLIPPIN' BOTTLE ON MY FACE?"

"Sorry..."

"So, everyone, who's up to another enemy?"

"What do you mean, Sabrina?"

"After killing an enemy five times, a new one appears. It is completely random what might appear, from the Unmarked Spectralids to the Spotty Bulbear. Maybe even an unknown enemy will appear, one that we never saw before and we might not have a good tactic or way to defeat it. Joe and Bob already killed the Fiery Blowhog five times, so if we wait five minutes now, a new enemy will appear in the room. Who's in?"

Everybody raised their hands, even the tired Bob and Joe. They were all eager to see the new enemy. The five minutes seemed to last forever, and when the computer finally beeped, everybody jumped up and went to Sabrina. She unlocked the door and let everyone in. They were confused. They could not see the enemy.

"Hey, Sabrina, where is the bad guy?"

"I don't know, maybe it's-"

Suddenly, a fat gray frog landed on the group of Pikmin. Only a few dodged it and did not get hit.

"IT'S A WOLLYWOG! WATCH OUT!"

It jumped and landed on the same Pikmin again. It jumped AGAIN, and this time the poor Pikmin got out of the way. The Wollywog was a flat gray frog with red eyes. Luckily, in the 'Pikmin's Enemy Defeating Guide', there was a nice strategy to kill the Wollywog.

"Everybody must jump on the Wollywog the moment it lands! Everybody 1, 2, 3!"

Every single red Pikmin jumped on the Wollywog, and it quickly died. The health was regenerating.

"That's it?"

"I guess so, Tim."

"Let's get out of here."

"Waiaum!"

OUTSIDE!

Olimar and Louie woke up and got outside. As expected, the red onion was next to the ship.

Olimar: Louie, at the beginning of each day, you have to stand under the red light from the onion. Then, call out the number of Pikmin you want. Remember, no more than a hundred Pikmin can be on the field at once. Here, I'll show you. 20!

All twenty Pikmin came out of the onion and stood behind Olimar. One looked very sleepy.

Louie: Cool! What should we do today, captain? I feel fresh and ready to rock!

Olimar: I think we should first get 50 Pikmin and find some treasures. If lucky, we'll find nectar. Pikmin love nectar. They drink it and their stems become flowers. Flower Pikmin are stronger and work and run quicker. Many times nectar is in eggs, so let your Pikmin attack it, break it, and drink it. Easy.

So, Louie took 10 Pikmin and Olimar did the same, and they separated, looking for more pellets and enemies.

Olimar went off to the right, and instantly saw two red 5 pellets. He threw his ten Pikmin to carry them both back. Then he walked forward and saw a bag. He wondered what it was there for, but it was very big and blocked the path to a Dwarf Red Bulborb.

"Waiaum!"

"WHAT!"

"Waiaum."

"Joe, you idiot, shut up!"

"K."

"Hey, Bob, should we bring this back to the onion or should we just rest? I'm way too tired to move on..."

"James, you just woke up. You even ate my breakfast!"

"But I am tired! I can't help it, Bob. By the way, thanks for the fried leftovers of the Dwarf Red Bulborb's leg..."

"Welcome."

"Guys, we are never going to make it back to the onion! I bet an enemy is going to eat us on the way there!"

"Shut up, Junior."

"That's impossible!"

"Lafunduh, are you even capable of emitting sound waves that are stimulated from the vibrations that occur in your mouth due to the food that is digested?"

"WTF?"

"English?"

"In other words, can you speak, Lafunduh?"

"... No, Leo."

"OK..."

**meanwhile...**

Louie was looking around for pellets. He was too scared to take on enemies. He turned around to check that all his Pikmin were there, and something in the distance made his eyes pop out. He saw an oversized version of a Dwarf Red Bulborb. Luckily, it appeared to be sleeping and was far away. He decided to tell Olimar later. After a bit of walking, he saw a red 5 pellet. He chucked a Pikmin and it brought it down. Four more Reds joined him.

"Hey Devon, are you tired?"

"No, Christine, I just woke up after a good night's sleep."

"Well, I didn't sleep well."

"Why not, Karina?"

"While I was sleeping, I felt strong vibrations and I woke up. I could not get back to sleep. Later, I discovered that it was the Red Onion moving where the leaders' big ship is."

"I feel sorry for you, Karina."

"Thanks, Lauren. If I catch who the pilot of the onion is, I'll kill him!"

"What if it's a girl?"

"I'll just tell her not to do it anymore. Does anyone here know who did it?"

"That would be me..."

"MICHAEL! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"I'm sorry, the onion was going to hit a Fiery Bulblax and I had to make a sharp curve..."

"There is no such thing as a Fiery Bulblax!"

"Yes there is, it was far away and has a back with fire. It was awake, looking for food..."

"ARGHH!"

"GOD, WILL YOU SHUT UP, GIRL?"

"DIE!"

Louie watched as a red Pikmin started choking another. He decided to let them do it. He looked back forward and saw five Pikmin on a bag. He walked towards it.

Louie: Captain, you back there?

Olimar: Yes, partner, I am behind the bag. Throw Pikmin at it, I discovered that you need 35 to destroy it!

Louie: I only have 5 at the moment!

Olimar: OK, wait as I chuck the new Pikmin out of the ground and get the ones carrying stuff back!

Louie heard the Pikmin calling out their names in a different language.

"John!"

"Leonard!"

"Chris!"

"Christopher!"

"Nick!"

"Nicholas!"

"Holly!"

"Vanessa!"

"Felicia!"

"Sarah!"

Olimar: We have 30 altogether! I need 5 more! I'll go look for pellets and enemies! Just wait!

So, Louie waited.

"Hey!"

"Hey!"

"HEY!"

"HEY!"

"He-he-hehhehey! HEEY!"

"Will, you killed it."

"Sorry. What were you two doing, Luigi?"

"I told little Billy here that if he copies me, he'll be cooler than he is now."

"It's a Mario time!"

"It's a Luigi time!"

(both) "It's a Mario/Luigi time!"

"OK everyone! Pick-up to measure nineteen of 'Ai no uta' by Strawberry Flower! One, two, three! LA, lalalalalalala! (rest) Lalalalalalala! (rest) La lalla-lala! Guys! What's wrong with you? Remember, it's in six eights, not three fourths! Well, you could make it in three fourths, but I wouldn't recommend it as you have to tap your foot too quickly-"

"OK! SHUT UP, WILL! WE GET IT!"

Louie heard Olimar picking up the new sprouts.

"Johnathan!"

"Alan!"

"Eric!"

"Evan!"

"Laura!"

"Zach!"

"Zachary!"

"Josh!"

"Joshua!"

"OK..."

"Ed!"

"Patrick!"

"Ted!"

"Ricky!"

"Kate!"

"Marco!"

"Shane!"

"Cecilia!"

"Jenny!"

"Carla!"

"Jessica!"

"Polly!"

"Ryan!"

Louie: God, captain, you were quick!

Olimar: Yes, Louie. I am going to throw 5 more red Pikmin and crush the bag! Here we go!

Olimar tossed 5 Pikmin on the bag and it got smaller and smaller until the Pikmin could walk on it. Louie walked to Olimar and told him about the oversized Dwarf Red Bulborb.

Olimar: Yes, I am quite sure you are talking about a Red Bulborb. Was it sleeping?

Louie: Yeah, captain.

Olimar: OK, Louie. Well, now I am 100 sure that it is a Red Bulborb. OK, let's go kill it.

Louie: Won't that be hard, captain?

Olimar: Not with 53 red Pikmin, it won't be. Now, where is it?

Louie started walking towards it.

"sup giz nams ted"

"Whazzup? Nam's? WTF does that mean?"

"Luigi, I, Joshua, am the translator for Ted here. Now, he said 'What's up, guys? My name is Ted!"

"ya tl dm dud i ws brn yl der ws a dscs nd now i tlk lyk a guy in a ch rm"

"He said, 'Yes, tell them dude! I was born while there was a disease, and now I talk like a guy in a chat room.'. Weird..."

"Whatever."

"16, 17, 18... WOW! 18 girls! This is great!"

"Yes, Christine, indeed. Indeed..."

"You like saying 'indeed' a lot, don't you, Kate?"

"Yes, Jenny. Indeed."

"Whatever. Where are we going?"

"James, I think we are going near the Red Bulborb we spotted before. Blue Leader was probably scared of battling it alone before. Red Leader is far more experienced than blue."

"Shut up, nerd!"

"Don't tell Leo to shut up, Joe!"

"Why should I, SHANESHANESHANESHANE?"

"Darn, you are an idiot."

"He is very smart, Mario, he just doesn't know how to use his brain. I am his brother, I know."

"Whatever. BTW, why is your name 'OK...'?"

"OK..."

"That still doesn't answer my question."

Olimar: OK. Louie, I get half of the Pikmin, and you get the other half. We get behind the Bulblax and start throwing Pikmin at its back. Do not miss, as the Bulblax wakes after the Pikmin hit it, and it can move around and eat Pikmin. Ready?

Louie: Ready...

Olimar: 1... 2... 3... GO!

Olimar started throwing red Pikmin at the creature, and Louie started doing the same after a couple of seconds. He always missed.

"Who-hoo!"

"This is fun!"

"im rokn i nfr nu flynd b dis kol"

"He said, 'I am rocking! I never knew flying would be this cool!'. I agree!"

Finally, after Olimar and Louie killed the thing, they counted their Pikmin.

Olimar: 53. Good, no casualties.

Louie: Yeah, I was doing good, wasn't I, captain?

Olimar: I don't wanna talk about it. I wonder what that thing is...

Olimar walked towards a big pile of junk. The Pod called it 'treasure'.

Pod- TREASURE! Don't just stand there, you idiots, make the slaves grab it and bring it back to me! And that enormous creature too, it might make more, aahh... seeds!

Olimar did as the Pod told him to do and swarmed some Pikmin at the junk and the Red Bulborb and started carrying it back.

"This thing smells bad!"

"Actually, you are using the improper grammar. It's 'smells badLY', not just 'bad'. Oh, and your punct-"

"SHUT UP, LEO!"

After a minute, the Pikmin reached the ship and the Pod calculated how much it was worth.

Pod- 170 Pokos for this beauty, I call it the Beauty Shop!

Olimar: Ah, come on, that's a big pile of junk.

Pod- Ok, fine, don't listen to the mechanical floating computer. Blah. People these days are getting racist. Fine, I'll call it the Utter Scrap!

Olimar: That's more like it. Now, partner Louie, let's pluck those ten Pikmin out of the ground!

"Eugene!"

"Vikram!"

"Violet!"

"Sunny!"

"STEVEN"

"Jennifer!"

"Kevin!"

"Joseph!"

"Brian!"

"George!"

The ten Pikmin joined the others to form and army of 63 leaf Pikmin. Olimar walked back to the place where the junk was and turned right. There was another wall.

Olimar: OK, Louie, let's bring down the wall!

Louie: You mean, let the Pikmin bring down the wall.

Olimar: Actually-

Louie: OK, OK! God, I don't want to get in a long conversation, why did I even bring that up?

The 63 red Pikmin brought the wall down in about three minutes. Olimar and Louie saw a strange hole on the ground.Pod- Brztt! That appears to be an underground cave. My sensors detect that there is treasure dawn there, along with some enemies. Hop down!

Louie: Are you sure it's safe?

Pod- Shut up and go.

The floating Pod pushed Louie and Olimar down, and all the Pikmin followed them.

THE FIRST CAVE- EMERGENCE CAVE

"Who are those?"

"They are the guys we saw last year! Let's hide!"

"We don't need to hide!"

"Yeah, I forgot."

Olimar and Louie stood up. They were in a dark cave, with the army behind them. Olimar listened. He heard some noises, like someone chattering. It was like the red Pikmin's 'voice', just a bit lower. He silently moved forward, using the voice as a guide.

"He is coming near us! Let's run!"

"Right behind you!"

They were gone. Olimar looked at the ground. Footsteps. Small footsteps. Of what? He had never seen footsteps like these in his last journey. Maybe the caves contained something other than treasures and enemies. He'll find out later, he thought.

Louie: Hey, captain, look! Enemies! Let's kill them!

Olimar: Coming.

Louie moved towards the enemies (without any Pikmin) and started giving orders with his whistle.

"What an idiot. We are over here."

"Right, Violet. Commanding us while we are idle, what an idiot."

"YO DUDES PRETTY SMART"

"Shut up, Steven."

"OK KARINA"

"Say cheese!"

"Brian, put that camera down. I- arrgh!"

"Hehe! You fell for it. I bought this in fruity-land!"

"Stupid... It squirts water."

"Hey, Brian, with 'fruity', do you mean the fruit kind or the ga-"

"That's not appropriate to say, Ryan."

"How did you know what I was going to say, Vikram?"

"CUZ I AM PSYCHO!"

Olimar gathered all 63 Pikmin and directed them towards the Snow Bulborbs and killed them.

Olimar: Louie, next time, have your Pikmin with you before attacking an enemy.

Louie: Oops.

somewhere far, far away...

"Hey! Me and #635 here saw a whole squad of Red Pikmin down there! Ain't that right, #635?"

"Right, supreme #12. There were about fifty, along with Red and a new Blue Leader. We must help them!"

"Excellent. There may be creatures that the leaders may have never encountered and may squish all reds with ease."

"Right, governor #2. We must move out of Navel Forest at once. We have lived in the dark long enough. #354, arrange a flight on two Imperial Puffy Blowhogs for the governors, a golden queen Honeywhisp for Emperor #1, 200 Withering Blowhogs for the 300 lesser lords, and finally, about 1000 Unmarked Spectralids for the military."

"YES SIR!"

"We are leaving in 4800 hours."

"I better get ready."

back to Emergence Cave

Olimar: Hey, look. Treasure.

Olimar and Louie, followed by the army, grabbed the treasure and followed the Pikmin to the Pod.

Pod- Yeah, yeah, I call this flattened bed the 'Green Crap'.

Louie: GREEN CRAP? It's not green, and crap, either! But I like it.

Olimar: How about 'Quenching Emblem'?

Pod- Fine. Now you're sexist, too. Racism, sexism... What else is there? Well, there is no more treasure in this sublevel. You can count on THAT, Mr. Racist.

Olimar, followed by Louie and the red Pikmin, hopped down a hole on the ground (extremely similar to the one on the surface) and hit the ground below.

LAST FLOOR!

Pod- My sensors indicate that this is the last sublevel, R and S.

Olimar: R and S? What's that stand for?

Pod- Hm? It stands for 'Racist' and 'Sexist'. Olimar and Louie, respectively.Olimar: Whatever. Hey, a Snow Bulborb. Louie, this should be pretty easy. He's all yours, partner.

Louie: Thanks, dude. Here we go!

Olimar: Dude...

Louie grabbed hold of a Pikmin while about a dozen others were behind him. He threw her on the Snow Bulborb but missed. The red Pikmin hit the ground and got hurt.

"God, have some respect for girls, sexist. God, just because I am a girl and he's not, it doesn't mean that he can jus-"

The Snow Bulborb opened its small mouth and caught Holly in its jaws. Louie quickly swarmed all Pikmin to the Bulborb and killed it. Holly was not eaten yet, so she just got out of the mouth and cleaned herself.

"EWW!"

"It's OK, Karina."

"God, Christopher, why do you wear glasses?"

"Because I need them, Ed."

"Whatever."

Olimar: LOUIE! Be careful next time, don't miss. Remember, if you hit any Dwarf Bulborb by throwing one on it, it will instantly kill it. Again, do not miss. What's that big, spherical thing? It looks like it needs 101 Pikmin to lift. Hm. We can't do that. Let's keep going down the path and look for stuff that might help us lift and carry the thing.

Louie: Right behind ya, Captain!

They walked to a clearing after killing some Snow Bulborbs and saw two purple flowers.

Olimar: These look familiar to me. Yes, they must be Candypop Buds. Toss five Pikmin into it and let it spit them back out as the same color of the Candypop. Let's try. Maybe we can get purple Pikmin.

Louie and Olimar threw five red Pikmin in each Bud and pulled out the seeds it spit.

"Nick!"

"Nicholas!"

"Holly!"

"Vanessa!"

"Felicia!"

"Sarah!"

"Johnathan!"

"Alan!"

"Eric!"

"Evan!"

Pod- A new discovery, purple Pikmin! These are burly and weight as much as 10 Pikmin. They can help us lift the treasure we saw back there. Let's go.

After killing some more Bulborbs, they went back to the Pod.

"Hey, purples, how do you feel?"

"Never felt better and fatter!"

"I wish I was a purple..."

"Trust me, Josh, you don't. I look so fat..."

"Well, Holly, you can't help it. At least you are strong."

"Whatever."

The purples, with the help of the 53 Reds, lifted the round treasure and brought it to the Pod.

Pod- Well, I'll call this the 'Spherical Atlas'. Don't argue. And I have also discovered a chip inside which will enable the ship to fly in a new location, Awakening Wood. Now, step into the geyser and get out of this dark cave.

Louie: K.

BACK AT THE VALLEY OF REPOSE

Olimar and Louie were tired, so they went to the ship and got some sleep. The day was over.

**END OF DAY 2**

_Well, hope you liked it. BTW, You may be wondering why the story's called 'The Stupid Quest'. You will find out in the next chapters (days), as the whole objective of the game changes. There was no 'INSIDE THE RED ONION' this night. Every day there is only one 'INSIDE THE (color) ONION'. The first day it's at night, the second day it's in the morning, the third day will be in the night, blablabla. They'll be none for Whites and Purples. You may also be wondering what the talking stuff in the cave was. Again, you'll find out later. Also, this is how the speech works: when the sentence starts, if there is a - , the Pod is communicating. When there is a , Louie or Olimar are speaking. When there is a " , Pikmin are speaking. And for those who think my story should be more original, there WILL be new Pikmin colors, about 5 more, each with an unique ability. Oh, and the chapter titles are random, dumb stuff. That's it. PLEASE review the story. Thanks._

_7/26/05- Edited chapter 2. Minor stuff, such as spelling mistakes and such. In the training room with the Groink, Joe says something different. Leo is much more nerdy when he first talks to Lafunduh. Ted's speeches are more chat-room like. That's pretty much it._


	3. Day 3 The Big Ugly Thing part I

**DAY 3- THE BIG UGLY THING- Part I**

INSIDE THE PURPLE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

"Stupid reds. They fell for it!"

"Yes, Johnathan. Nobody knows that us purples are evil geniuses!"

"Yet, Holly, yet. We will convince the reds to join us, or we will kill them, too!"

"After killing the leaders, Vanessa."

"Of course, Nicholas, of course..."

"Who will make the call, Nick?"

"I will. Gimme the cell phone."

"Coming."

"Thanks, Felicia."

Nick held the phone in his tiny hand and rested on the sofa. He dialed a number and then moved the cell phone closer to his ear. He waited a couple of minutes and a red answered.

"HYELLO! You have reached my room! I am Brian!"

"Yes, Brian-"

"Please leave a message after the 'beep'! I will call you later! C YA! Beep!"

"Brian. This is Nick. Call me b-"

"HAHA! You fell for it! I am here! What now, heh? Who's your daddy?"

"Idiot. I called to speak to the boss there. Who is it?"

"Boss? We have no boss here. If you wish to talk to Michael, the pilot, he is right here. Or maybe it is Bob who you want to talk to, the oldest and nicest red."

"Give me Michael."

"OK."

Nick heard lots of noise, and the sound of something crashing.

"Hello? Nick?"

"What was that noise?"

"My neck is broken, so Michael has to hold the cell phone next to my ear. Karina broke it yesterday..."

"OK, OK, good for you. I have to tell you something. Me and the 9 other Purples here have thought of something. We came up with a plan to rebel. We will kill both leaders this night and we will be free. No more working, no more sweating, no more lifting treasures, just relax, relax, relax..." Nick sunk deeper and deeper into the sofa.

"Forget it."

"If you won't join us, we will kill you, too. After killing the two leaders, that is. Why won't you discuss it with the others? I will give you until morning to-"

Michael hung up. Nick slowly gave the cell phone back to Felicia.

"Well? How did it go?"

"They hang up. Well, too bad. Too bad for them!"

OUTSIDE!

Louie wake up earlier and went outside. It was still very early, on his planet it would have been, oh well, about 11190190:00 PM. On that planet (Earth) it was 5:00 AM. He decided to go for a walk alone, without any Pikmin behind him. He smelled the fresh air. You couldn't do that back at his planet... He felt real good and walked until he met the big creature he saw the day before. It was sleeping. Louie decided not to wake it up. He kept walking and saw some very large flowers. He smelled that, too. He never felt better in his life. He could not believe it. He was in a planet inhabited by big, mean, and hungry creatures and he was enjoying it. The microchip inside the Spherical Atlas contained a map that guided the ship in a different location, the one he was standing on, that Olimar called 'Awakening Wood'. He decided to go back now, as it was time to look for treasures. He saw Olimar out of the ship, stretching.

Olimar: Woke up early, Louie?

Louie: Yup. Never felt better before!

Olimar: Something smells.

Louie: I don't smell any- ARGH!

Olimar: LOUIE! What is that under your shoe!

Louie raised his foot and looked under his shoe.

Louie: Aah! It's shit!

Olimar: Where have you been?

Louie: Oh, you know, just walking around, looking at the place... I found many enemies and some cool plants and flowers! They were twice, maybe even three times as large and tall as me!

Olimar: OK, Louie, let's gather all 63 Pikmin and scout around the place for Pikmin!

Louie: No!

Olimar stood in front of the ship and whistled. All 10 purples came out. Louie did the same, and 53 reds jumped out. One hit Louie in the head.

Olimar guided all Pikmin near some tall grass, with Louie right behind him. The reds kept up, but Olimar thought that the Purples were too slow. But that is not the reason they stayed behind...

"Heh! Great idea, staying behind and chatting about rebelling!"

"Yeah, I bet the stupid leaders think we are slow!"

When the purples got there, the reds already pulled out the grass from the ground and their leaves became flowers after drinking the nectar the grass contained. All of them except the 10 purples were flowered up.

Louie: Hey, after drinking that yellow poop the leaves became flowers! I wonder how they smell...

Louie walked over to a red and tried to smell the flower, only to be kicked in the shin by the red.

Louie: OW! Dude, watch out! Why is there a flower?

Olimar: Well, Louie, flower Pikmin are stronger and quicker than leaves or buds. They are much better and we won't have to wait for them to catch up with us. Unlike the purples... I think we should split up. I'll take the purples and 20 Reds. You take the remaining 33 reds.

Louie walked away with his reds and Olimar went the other way.

Olimar advanced near two Dwarf Red Bulborbs. He easily killed them by throwing a Pikmin on top of both. He made twelve reds carry it back to their onion. He saw a Red Bulborb sleeping. Olimar got behind it and started to throw Pikmin at its back as quick as he could. He threw 8 reds until he threw a purple. It stunned the beast and it was momentarily paralyzed. He threw the rest and the moment they all made contact, the Bulborb died.

Olimar: The purples are so fat that they stun and daze enemies when I throw them... Nice. Now, carry the creature back!All the Pikmin carried the remains of the Red Bulborb. He was about to follow them but he slipped and fell down (I don't care about what he tripped on, just read the damn story). This made him look up. He saw a strange, big red cone-shaped object. He stood back up.

Olimar: Pod, is this treasure?

Pod- Yeah, R, that's treasure. Now move it, move it! We do not have time!

Olimar: Shut up.

Pod- Racist fucker...

Olimar went back to the red onion.

**meanwhile**

Louie walked through two big rocks and saw two big plants. He did not see these earlier. As he looked up, he saw that there were big berries attached to the plants. He made 10 Pikmin go up on one and the remaining 10 on the other plant. He patiently waited as the Pikmin started knocking these berries off the plant. Once that happened, Louie made 10 grab the berries and bring them back. Shortly after that, more berries appeared. He repeated the process. He was now left with no Pikmin, so he walked back to the ship.

Louie and Olimar met in front of the ship. The pod was studying the sprays and discovered a strange spray, which it called 'Ultra-Spicy-Spray'.

Olimar: Louie, help me pluck these Pikmin out of the ground.

Louie: Yes, captain!

"Stephanie!"

"Alex!"

"David!"

"Jason!"

"Jessica!"

"Tyler!"

"Katherine!"

"Katie!"

"Jesse!"

"Alexander!"

"Angelica!"

"Derek!"

"Ashley!"

"Anthony!"

"Maria!"

"Max!"

Olimar: 16 new reds, added to the 53, make 69 reds. So, we have 79 Pikmin total.

Louie: 'Scuse me, captain, but according to my calculations, I have 18 Pikmin total.

Olimar: How did you get that?

Louie: Well, it's simple. The inner-space continuum will regenerate and cause a mass explosion that would thereby conduct electricity at light speed, knocking every living organism. The electricity will expel the time change, as E equals MC squared, and the altitude of the speed of the core will severely drop and burn everything and everyone alive. 18 is a cool number.

Olimar: What you just said made no sense.

Louie: Well, 18's a cool number!

Olimar hit Louie in the head.

"Hey, look! Red Leader hit Blue Leader!"

"Right, Joseph."

"I am hungry."

"I need to pee."

"Shut up all of you. I'll kill you all if you don't shut up."

"I hate you all."

"That's impossible!"

"WILL ALL OF YOU PLEASE BE SILENT? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER 'BEEP' OUT OF YOU!"

"Beep."

Louie: I saw a black gate near the berries. BTW, we have two red sprays. Let's check them out!

Olimar: Later, Louie. Now tell me where the berries are.

Louie walked near the two large plants. There were no berries on them. Louie pointed to the black gate, and Olimar decided to try the red spray. He grabbed an orange ball from his pocket and threw it on the ground. A spray hit all Pikmin and their flowers and leaves started to sparkle. Olimar thought that Pikmin were now more aggressive, stronger, and quicker, so he swarmed them at the gate.

"WAIUM! WAIUM!"

"Wow! Never felt better before!"

"BLACK GATE, GET READY TO BE BROUGHT DOWN!"

"OK..."

"I need to sneeze."

Louie: Wow, captain, don't fart.

Olimar: Louie?

Louie: Yes, Olimar?

Olimar: Shut up.

In less than a minute, the black gate was brought down. The Pikmin were still under the effect of the spray. Olimar noticed a strange thing stick out of the ground. He had never seen that before.

Olimar: Louie, get ready with some purples. That thing may be an enemy...

And as he walked towards it, he saw the Cloaking Burrow-Nit emerge.

Olimar: Louie! Pound it!

Louie walked to the enemy and body slammed the head of it. It died.

Olimar: Louie, I meant pound it with purple Pikmin, not with your fat belly.

Louie: Well, Captain, it worked.

Olimar swarmed the Pikmin around the dead creature and they started bringing it back. Shortly after that, the Pikmin's flowers and leaves stopped shining and the Ultra-Spicy-Spray's effect was gone.

"o cmon i likd it"

"He said, 'Oh, come on, I liked it.'"

"WAIAUM! Waiaum! Waiaum..."

"God, that stuff smelled good."

"Laura, you do realize that that was the captain farting, do you?"

"(dies)"

Olimar told Louie to stay there while he was going to get the other Pikmin near the onion. Louie heard the Pikmin silent shouts as they were plucked out of the ground.

"Adam!"

"Shay!"

"Megan!"

"Jasmine!"

"Ian!"

"Hernan!"

"Anton!"

"Mark!"

Olimar came back and walked with Louie and the army between two walls, between big, tall flowers. All of a sudden, a cactus-like creature appeared from the ground. Olimar was panicking, while Louie was counting his fingers.

Louie: 1, 2, 4... Dammit!

Olimar: Louie! Stand up and help me throw some Pikmin on the thing!

Louie: Fine. Be that way.

Olimar and Louie quickly threw Pikmin on the Creeping Chrysanthemum, who sucked in air and made his belly fat (like if it wasn't already) and threw all the Pikmin away. It then opened its mouth and ate two Pikmin. Olimar threw purples at it and it finally died, leaving behind only its small head. He swarmed Pikmin and they started bringing it back to the red Onion.

Olimar: Two losses... I stay here while you go get the new Pikmin, OK, partner?

Louie: Sure, Captain. You look depressed...

"Tyler II!"

"Kevin II!"

"Matthew!"

"Tiana!"

"Tina!"

"Mary!"

"Dennis!"

"Henry!"

"Grace!"

"Jeffrey!"

Olimar: Well, Louie, it seems like half of the day has passed. Let's eat!

**END OF 12:00- DAY 3**

_Well, this was part one of day three. Thank you for sending reviews, you three. I am going to be writing and updating as much as possible. Since I am 13 years old, I have school, so I don't have much time. Luckily, we are having a week off now. What is the BIg Ugly Thing? You will find out in the next chapter of 'The Stupid Quest', by me (no shit, sherlock). Review, please._

_7/26/05- Edited some minor stuff, including spelling errors, and Ted's and Steve's speech mode thingy crap shitty thing. And I don't care if I wasn't clear enough..._

_Not done yet!_

**RESULTS UP TO DAY 3- 12:00**

**REDS**

Joe: Idiot, Bob's brother, really strong, gets serious when in battle

Bob: Nice, Joe's brother, really strong, gets frustrated very easily

Christine: Hates boys, Lauren's best friend

Leo: Nerd, reads books

James: Always tired

Mario: Obsessed with Mario, Luigi's best friend

Tim: Never gets scared

Devon: Red Onion's cook

Billy: Believes anybody

Joanna: Red Onion's cook

Luigi: Obsessed with Luigi, Mario's best friend

Karina: Hates when somebody tells her to shut up

Lauren: Wants to make people feel better

Sabrina: Red Onion's architect, knows everything about all rooms

Luis: Thinks everything is a compliment

Robert: Always complaints

Junior: Thinks that nothing is possible

Lafunduh: Shy

William: Likes music

Michael: Red Onion's pilot

John: Obsessed with bathrooms

Leonard: Always has to pee

Chris: Thinks he is cool

Christopher: Only Pikmin with glasses

Nick: Normal- Purple

Nicholas: Normal- Purple

Holly: Normal- Purple

Vanessa: Normal- Purple

Felicia: Normal- Purple

Sarah: Normal- Purple

Johnathan: Normal- Purple

Alan: Normal- Purple

Eric: Normal- Purple

Evan: Normal- Purple

Laura: Normal

Zach: Normal

Zachary: Normal

Josh: Normal

Joshua: Translator of Ted

OK...: Can only say 'OK...'

Ed: Normal

Patrick: Always ends a conversation by saying 'whatever'

Ted: Talks like a guy in a chat room

Ricky: Normal

Kate: Always says 'indeed'

Marco: Normal

Shane: Hates when people tell anyone to shut up

Cecilia: Normal

Jenny: Always asks questions

Carla: Normal

Jessica: Normal

Polly: Normal

Ryan: Normal

Eugene: Normal

Vikram: Psycho, predicts what others are going to say

Violet: Agrees with everyone

Sunny: Normal

Steven: Always writes in uppercase letters

Jennifer: Normal

Kevin: Normal- Eaten

Joseph: Normal

Brian: Plays pranks on everyone

George: Normal

Stephanie: Normal

Alex: Likes clean, hates dirt

David: Warlike

Jason: Aggressive

Jessica: Likes shiny stuff

Tyler: Normal- Eaten

Katherine: Normal

Katie: Normal

Jesse: Always hungry

Alexander: Normal

Angelica: Normal

Derek: Mean

Ashley: Hates everyone

Anthony: Wimp

Maria: Thinks she's popular but is not

Max: Likes to play chess

Tyler II: Tyler's 'replacement'

Kevin II: Kevin's 'replacement'

Matthew: Has a GameBoy Color

Tiana: Normal

Tina: Normal

Mary: Has a Gameboy Advance

Dennis: Has a GameBoy Advance SP

Henry: Has a Nintendo DS

Grace: Normal

Jeffrey: Normal

Total- 77

Sprouted- 84

Deaths- 2

Into purples: 10

**PURPLES**

Nick: Normal- Purple

Nicholas: Normal- Purple

Holly: Normal- Purple

Vanessa: Normal- Purple

Felicia: Normal- Purple

Sarah: Normal- Purple

Johnathan: Normal- Purple

Alan: Normal- Purple

Eric: Normal- Purple

Evan: Normal- Purple

Total- 10

Sprouted- 10

Deaths- 0

_This is just info about the Pikmin. 'Normal' means that the Pikmin is... normal (da da dum). '- Eaten' means that the Pikmin was eaten. 'II' means that the first that had that name died, and this is the second. '- Purple' means that the Pikmin was tossed in a Violet Candypop Bud and changed to an evil purple. That's it. KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS STORY!**!_


	4. Day 3 The Big Ugly Thing part II

**DAY 3, 12:00- THE BIG UGLY THING- Part II**

****Olimar: OK, Louie, let's go to our left, this time looking out for another enemy like that.

Louie: Don't worry, Captain, I already checked!

Olimar: Sure? OK, let's go.

Olimar, closely followed by Louie, the reds and the purples, walked between the walls. Olimar stopped and looked at his left. There was another crack in the ground, probably leading in a cave with many sublevels in it. Olimar decided to go there. The Pod made yet another of its boring, useless speeches.

Pod- Look! A cave! Caves mean more treasure. What are you two doing there, you look like sitting ducks! Get in the cave, dammit! God, do I have to push you guys again? Fine.

The Pod pushed them and they quickly fell and hit the ground.

THE SECOND CAVE- HOLE OF BEASTS

"OW! How dare the ground hits me like that! I am very popular!"

"OK..."

"Hey, Maria, it's you who fell and hit the ground."

"Yeah, George is right. Nd you ain't popular, either. You're less than a day old."

"Hey, guys? I am scared... What if... There is a monster in here?"

"Don't worry, Anthony, it's full of monsters in here!"

Olimar looked around. The place was dark and many dead ends. Olimar told Louie to follow him, and the two (and the army) found a group of Female Sheargrubs. Olimar knew that these can't hurt Pikmin, so he decided to let them bury back in the ground and go on with their puny lives. They walked until they stopped at a clearing. A large group of Sheargrubs, containing both males and females, suddenly came out of the ground. Olimar knew that males could eat Pikmin quickly.

Olimar: Louie, see the black ones? Throw a purple, and it should kill multiple of those Male Sheargrubs in on hit.

Olimar demonstrated and threw a purple. It landed on a male, and those around died, too. One was still alive, so it opened its mouth and caught the purple inside it.

Olimar: THROW A PURPLE! THROW A PURPLE!

Louie quickly grabbed a purple and threw it on the Male Sheargrub. It died. The purple that was trapped inside the mouth came back out, as it was not dead yet.

Olimar: Luck... Hey, what's that?

He walked near an item. It was, without any doubt, treasure. Louie swarmed Pikmin at it and started bringing it back to the Pod.

Louie: Hey, Captain, what shall we do with the bodies?

Olimar: I don't know. Try bringing it back to the Pod.

Louie walked to it and tried to lift it.

Olimar: Ah, you're hopeless. I meant try making the Pikmin bring it back to the Pod.

Louie: Aaah.

Louie threw a Pikmin at the carcass of a Male Sheargrub and the red started bringing it back.

Louie: What? That thing is half the size of me and it is lifting and carrying something that I could not even move? Screw him. Her. It. Whatever!

"OMG WHY DO I HAVE TO CARRY THIS THING BACK IT IS SMELLY"

"Dude, turn off caps lock."

Pod- This artifact is worth... 100 Pokos. I shall call it the Stone of Glory. Is that OK, R and S?

Olimar: OK, it seems like there are no more treasures in this sublevel. Let's go-"

Pod- Why is this small dead creature here? It's only worth about 1 Poko. And it smells, too. How am I going to sleep with this thing in my ship?

Olimar: You don't sleep, you tu-

Pod- And think about you, too! If the whole ship smells like that, how are you going to sleep?

Louie: We'll just rip up a piece of the Captain's pillow and stick it up our noses. Right, Olimar?

Olimar: No.

Louie: Well, I'll rip up a piece of my pillow.

Pod- Well, you can't just go to sleep knowing that there are dead bugs' bodies littering the place, can you?

Olimar ignored the Pod and just ordered the Pikmin to grab all the bodies and bring them back to the Pod. The Pod started to talk to itself. It was angry.

Pod- Ignoring me, he is. Yes. He is just racist, Pod. He is just racist... My precious! GOLLUM! GOLLUM! No. Master is good. NO! HE TRICKED US! HE IS JUST A ing !

Olimar: Snap out of it!

Olimar jumped down the crack and Louie followed him, along with the army and the Pod.

SUBLEVEL 2

Olimar: Ow. We need to land on softer stuff, not always the hard ground. My butt is getting red... Hey, look. A pair of Violet Candypop Buds. Louie, let's throw five Pikmin in each.

Olimar threw five reds in a flower and five purple seeds came out. Louie threw a purple Pikmin in the flower. Olimar stopped him before he threw another one.

Louie: What is it, Captain?

Olimar: Louie! If you throw a purple in a Violet Candypop Bud, what do you get?

Louie: A purple.

Olimar: Then why would you kill a purple to get another purple when you could kill a red to get a purple?

Louie: Do I have to go through the inner-space continuum hypothesis?

Olimar threw four reds in the Violet Candypop Bud and four more purple seeds were released.

"Laura!"

"Zach!"

"Zachary!"

"Josh!"

"Ed!"

"Ricky!"

"Marco!"

"Cecilia!"

"Carla!"

"Vanessa II!"

The new purples joined the older ones at the back.

Olimar: OK, there seems to be two eggs here. Those contain nectar. Let's go, and don't trip.

Louie: Don't trip? Weird...

The reds opened an egg, which contained two blobs of nectar. All of the purples drank from it and became flowers. The purples' flowers were violet-colored, unlike the reds' flowers, which were white. The reds drank from the other blob and all the leaves became flowers. After a while, Louie and Olimar found the crack leading to yet another sublevel.

SUBLEVEL 3

Louie: Whoa! Bright!

Olimar looked around and saw different Fire Geysers scattered around the place. He dismissed all Pikmin and got the reds ones. He told Louie to stay there while he was going to take out the geysers.

Louie: I never get to do anything. Oh no, Louie is too... what's the word... inexperienced. Fine, be that way.

Olimar soon got back and told Louie to follow him. He got up and walked with the purples. Olimar guided him to the two treasures that he found and Louie swarmed the purples around one. The other item was inside a giant black cinderblock. Louie tripped because of the darkness inside it.

Louie: Ow.

Olimar: Told you not to trip...

Louie: You a psycho, Captain?

Olimar slapped Louie. Then, the reds started bringing back the treasure, which was rectangular.

Pod- I name this treasure... the Cosmic Archive. It is worth 230 Pokos. And this other one, worth... 150, is called the Choo-choo Cheese.

Olimar laughed at the name.

Olimar: Choo-choo Cheese? Please! No. It is not cheese, and the drawing is not a train, so you can't just say 'Choo-choo'. I'd call it the Strife Monolith. Choo-choo cheese... Hah!

Pod- You know, stop laughing at me. I can command your suit. I can make it self-destruct. I can make gas come out of it. Heck, I can even make you fart.

Olimar looked at the Pod.

Olimar: No. Well, let's go down another sublevel!

SUBLEVEL 4

The first thing the leaders saw was another Violet Candypop Bud near the Pod. This time, Olimar made sure that no purples were thrown in. Then, he plucked the five new Pikmin out of the floor.

"Jessica!"

"Polly!"

"Ryan!"

"Eugene!"

"Sunny!"

Olimar: Great! 24 purples! And it would have been 25 if you wouldn't have thrown a purple for a purple...

Louie: He he.

"Hey, guys, I am getting hungry."

"Shut up, Jesse. You're always hungry."

"It's not my fault! And why do you have to be so mean, Ashley?"

"Cuz I hate everyone."

"Guys, just relax. Let's try and be cool about this, OK?"

"Chris, you think you are cool because you said that?"

"OOH! Who's good?"

"Damn. Play easy on me, Dennis!"

"What are Mary and Dennis doing, Derek?"

"Shut up or I'll cut your head in two pieces, feeding one to an Emperor Bulblax and the other side crushing under my feet! MUAHAHAHAAHA!"

"Dang, you mean."

"Well, Jenny, Mary and Dennis are playing a game with their GameBoys. They are using a Wireless Adaptor."

"I wish I had one..."

Olimar dismissed the Pikmin and grabbed a purple, the other purples behind him. He walked until he met a Red Bulborb. He threw the purple on the beast and it stunned it. Then, he swarmed the rest of the purples and the Red Bulborb died. An item came out of its mouth after it died. Olimar swarmed all the purples, and they started carrying it back after lifting it. Olimar walked to the Pod to find Louie and his Pikmin carrying a treasure back to the Pod, too.

Pod- I call this artifact the Dream Architect. It is worth 280 Pokos. And this other one... Black and White Anti-Racism Tool. Worth... Only 140 Pokos.

Olimar: ... How about Luck Wafer?

Pod- Fine, R, be like that. I knew you had something against us machines...

Olimar: Well, Louie, I must say that I am impressed. But... How did you get that scar on your cheek?

Louie: I tripped.

LAST FLOOR!

Pod- This is the last floor, and my sensors indicate that there is a very important item here. Find it or I'll push you.

Olimar whistled all the Pikmin to his side and dismissed them. He grabbed the purples, while Louie grabbed the rest of the reds. Olimar walked forward in the center of a giant arena. He looked up and guess what he saw. Wrong. He saw... THE BIG UGLY THING.

Louie: Aah! Captain! You woke it up! Come back here!

Olimar rushed to where Louie was, while the Big Ugly Thing opened its eyes. It looked straight at Olimar.

Olimar: I've never seen that before. It looks like a giant Bulborb, just that it is... bigger and uglier. I know! It must be... An Empress Bulblax!

The Empress Bulblax's face was close to the leaders and the Pikmin. The creature did not move. Olimar thought that it was waiting for them to attack her. He quickly told his plan to Louie.

Olimar: OK, on my 'three', I throw as many purples as possible and you do the same with the reds. OK? If anything happens, it should be ME who whistles back the Pikmin. Clear?

Louie: Why don't we just go grab a burger...

Olimar: One, two... THREE!

Both leaders threw about 10 Pikmin each at the thing. The Empress wailed about three times, and at the fourth wail, Olimar whistled back the Pikmin to his side. The Empress started rolling and when she hit a wall, she rolled to the other side. Olimar understood that if any Pikmin were thrown away by the Empress, she would squash them under her enormous weight. He quickly explained everything to Louie.

Louie: OK, but later I want a burger.

Olimar: THREE!

Louie and Olimar threw as many Pikmin as they could without stopping. Then, at the fourth wail, Olimar was about to whistle back the Pikmin, but something hit him and made him call back only the purples. 17 reds were flung and the Empress rolled over them. Olimar stood up and saw Louie on the ground.

Olimar: LOUIE! YOU JUST KILLED 17 PIKMIN!

Louie: It's not my fault. I tripped and landed on something soft.

Olimar: YOU LANDED ON ME! One... Two... THREE!

Both of them threw about 20 Pikmin on the Empress, who wailed. Olimar got all Pikmin back and the Empress rolled without any success. She stopped again and faced the two.

Olimar: Louie, it does not seem like it hurts her too much. We shall use a red spray.

Louie: But Captain! There is only one more left!

Olimar: If we want to win this fight, we'll have to use it. Here it comes!

Olimar grabbed the last orange ball out of his Pocket and threw it behind him. The whole army was then HYPER!

"WAIAUM! WAIAUM!"

"Here we go!"

"Mamma mia!"

"That spray almost killed my GameBoy!"

"ARGHHH!"

Olimar and Louie threw a billion (OK, maybe I am exaggerating) Pikmin on the Empress, who finally screamed in rage and defeat, and her fat belly got smaller. Now only the head remained, and next to it was a strange device.

Pod- Yes, treasure. That must be worth a lot. Grab it.

Olimar threw all Pikmin at the carcass and the treasure. Both items were quickly sucked in by the light of the Pod.

Pod- Ahem... This artifact is worth... 200 Pokos! It is called... the Prototype Detector! Now, each of your suits will have a small gauge that will enable you to know if there are any treasures in the area and if you are close to one. The head is worth... Bah, who cares. Just get out of the friggin cave!

Louie and Olimar walked up to a geyser. Louie found a burger on the floor next to it.

Louie: NOW everyone is happy!

And while the geyser was bringing them back to the surface, Olimar hit Louie in the head, causing the twelfth scar on his left cheek.

**OUT OF THE CAVE- 12:00- DAY 3**

_Well, pretty short chapter, heh? Day 3 is not over yet, it is still 12:00. Thanks for all the reviews! KEEP SENDING MORE! I hope I will have time to send chapter 5 tomorrow... C Ya!_


	5. Day 3 Big Mama

**DAY 3, 12:00- BIG MAMA**

****Pod- You have recovered one fifth of the 10,000 Pokos needed! Great job! But you're not done yet, so get up. NOW.

Olimar and Louie stood back up. They were in front of the Hole Of Beasts. Olimar counted their army.

Olimar: It seems like we have 24 Purples and 60 reds, making a total of 84 Pikmin. I guess that is OK, but we are not trying our best. Now, let's squish that paper bag!

Olimar threw 20 purple Pikmin on the bag and it slowly got smaller and smaller, until it was gone. He looked at Louie, as he was not helping Olimar throw purples on the paper bag.

Louie: Sorry, Captain, too busy eating this burger. It's pretty god. I found it in the Hole Of Beasts. I shall call it... the Big Mac!

Olimar: That's already taken.

Louie: Oh. Too bad... Well, then I shall name it... the Pik Mac!

Olimar: Good for you... I guess. Well, changing argument, my treasure gauge is going out of control! Look up there. There is something there, but we cannot reach it, and our Pikmin can't, either. Yellow Pikmin are needed in these cases... Oh well. There is another Cloaking Burrow-Nit there... This time pound it WITH PURPLES, not with your belly.

Louie: Fine. I agree, as I am now eating my Pik Mac, and I don't want to ruin my appetite by body slamming that bug. Although I love bugs... I remember that time, where my uncle and I went to catch bugs...

Olimar ignored Louie as he talked to himself and grabbed a purple. He watched as the Cloaking Burrow-Nit slowly emerged and then he threw the purple on the ground. The Cloaking Burrow-Nit was paralyzed and Olimar easily killed it by swarming its soft face with red Pikmin. It died. Olimar ordered them to carry the creature back, and so they did. Louie was still talking to himself. TEARS were now slowly dripping out of his eyes. Olimar walked up to him.

Louie: And... and then, the big bug bit him on the leg! My poor uncle! I was so angry that I literally ate the bug! On the day of the funeral, I made my... dead... uncle a promise: I would not stop living until I had killed and ate every single bug on this universe.

Olimar: Louie, I'm sorry... I never knew that...

Louie: And I did not stop living yet... Well, I AM 160 years old, but-

Olimar: WHAT!

Louie: HAHAHA! You fell for it! My uncle is still alive, the bug was a butterfly! Haha-

Olimar walked away towards the onion (after punching Louie on the face) and pulled out the new Pikmin.

"Lafunduh II!"

"OK... II"

"Violet II!"

"Jennifer II!"

"Joseph II!"

"George II!"

"Stephanie II!"

"Jason II!"

When Olimar came back, Louie was still laughing (with a red cheek due to Olimar's punch).

Olimar: OK, Louie, let's go in that other crack right over there!

Louie: Sure, Captain!

And down they went, into the White Flower Garden (dang, I sounded like an old man).

THE THIRD CAVE- WHITE FLOWER GARDEN

"WaaaaAAAAaaaaaiaum!"

"SHUT UP, JOE- Ow."

Olimar whistled all the Pikmin to his side. He guided them to an opening, where he killed a couple of Sheargrubs. He walked to his left, where he saw an item. It must have been treasure. Olimar swarmed the Pikmin at it, and they lifted and started carrying it back.

"I must sleep... Too tired..."

"Wake up, James."

"Pancake... come to me..."

"Jesse, stop."

"What?"

"I told Jesse to stop."

"What?"

"I TOLD JESSE TO STOP."

"WHAT!"

Pod- I shall call this ugly thing... the Alien Billboard! It is worth... only 80 Pokos...

Louie and Olimar noticed that the treasure gauge went off, meaning that there were no more treasures in this sublevel. They looked for the crack leading to the next sublevel and found it after stopping at many dead ends.

"Let's-a go!"

"Shut up, Mario."

SUBLEVEL 2

Olimar and Louie looked around them. The place looked different, it was circular and there were no walls. Louie bent over the edge to see what was down there. There was no bottom.

"Hey, Evan, now is our chance!"

"Yeah, Nick, we can push him down the edge! On my three! One, two, wait! Darn, he moved..."

**somewhere far, far away...**

"#34, SIR! All the preparations are ready. Your Imperial Puffy Blowhog awaits you."

"What number is it?"

"Number 2, SIR!"

"Dismissed. Get back in your Unmarked Spectralid, #1286."

The (-----------) ran to his Blowhog. He was, along with every other (-----------) that existed, in a wide area full of Unmarked Spectralids, diverse types of blowhogs, and the almighty Golden Queen Honeywhisp, one of a kind. It was night, and it was cold. Very cold. There was the loud noise of the Blowhogs' breathing. Unmarked Spectralids were neatly organized in rows of 100, and most soldiers were already on them. As #34 climbed some stairs, he reached Puffy Blowhog 2. He showed his passport to a guard and walked on the Blowhog. The Blowhog's skin is made so that heat rises from it, so that no one would be cold. As he sat down, he put on his seat-belt, and watched the dark sky. Suddenly, he saw a Blowhog rise from the ground and fly high above the night sky. The Blowhog #34 sat on moved, too, and it quickly rose to the sky, right next to the other Puffy Blowhog. Behind them, all 200 Withering Blowhogs rose at the same time, and half of the Unmarked Spectralids flew in front of them, the (-----------) riding them, and the other half was in the back of them. Two Greater-Spotted Jellyfloats hovered next to the 200 Withering Blowhogs, making sure that everyone was here. Now, every single (-----------) was waiting for the emperor to rise. And when that happened, all 10,000 (-----------) flew away, to the east.

**back to emergence cave**

Olimar: OK, Louie, let's bring those Fiery Blowhogs down!

Louie: I got it all under control, Captain!

Louie dismissed all the Pikmin and grabbed the reds. He moved to the nearest of the two Fiery Blowhogs and while it was looking at another direction, he swarmed the red army at it. The Blowhog noticed and threw them away. 3 reds fell down and died. Olimar quickly whistle the reds to his side.

Olimar: LOUIE! Don't move! I don't want to see you with a Pikmin again. Now, watch and learn.

Louie: Telling me not to move... Bastard...

Olimar grabbed the purples and walked to the Blowhog. He waited for it to blow fire and then threw purples at it. The Blowhog didn't have enough time to throw them away, and it died.

Olimar: THIS is how you do it. There's another one.

Olimar repeated the process and killed the other Blowhog. Then, he looked around and saw two treasures. He threw Pikmin at both and after lifting it, they brought it back to the Pod.

Pod- Both worth 100... Petrified Heart and Drought Ender... This is getting boring...

"TIRED!"

"HUNGRY!"

"PISSED OFF!"

"Anyway, who just died?"

"Uhmm... It seems like William, Patrick, and Chris are absent, so... yeah, it must be them."

Louie: Can I at least go to the hole?

Olimar: NO.

SUBLEVEL 3

Olimar: Well, let's head down the path...

Louie: My butt hurts. Pod, can you make us land on something softer next time?

Pod- Just shut up, S.

The leaders, closely followed by their army, walked down a path and came to another clearing. Two white flowers were sitting there, waiting for the leaders to toss Pikmin in it.

Olimar: Ivory Candypop Buds! Never seen THESE before! Toss five REDS in each flower.

Louie wondered what would happen if he would jump in the flowers. He remembered what Olimar just said, 'Don't go there, girlfriend.'. But Louie HAD to know what would happen. He ran back and dashed at full speed and hopped into the flower. It closed on him and spit him back out, and Louie hit the ceiling and came back down, hitting the floor and causing a hole on the ground. Louie fell down and went in the next sublevel without Olimar, who ignored him. Olimar tossed five red Pikmin in each Bud and five white seeds were shot upward and into the ground. Olimar pulled each one.

"Robert!"

"Billy!"

"Leonard!"

"Christopher!"

"Jennifer II!"

"Matthew!"

"Jesse!"

"Max!"

"David!"

"STEVEN!"

Pod- Oh wow. R, new discovery. White Pikmin. These have red eyes, in case you're blind...

Olimar: It looks like I am standing right in front of the treasure, as my treasure gauge is going crazy. But it is nowhere to be seen... Maybe it's up there... No, it isn't. Hey, what are the whites doing?

The ten white Pikmin were digging up something from the ground.

"Hey, whities, WTF you doing?"

Pod- It looks like the whites' red eyes enable them to see what's underground! Not fantastic at all, I can do that, too. No wait, I have laser-vision, not X-ray...

"I bet the leaders are thinking that we are digging because we saw treasure down there!"

"Yeah, what idiots... We are just looking for a burger underground..."

"YEAH YOU'RE RIGHT"

Soon the whites uncovered a couple of burgers and a big, round item. Olimar swarmed the treasure (not the burgers) and the Pikmin placed it on the green light that the Pod generated, the Pod sucked it in and gave another of those ol' boring speeches.

Pod- OK, OK... I call this... the Superstick Textile... It is worth... ONLY 80 POKOS! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU TWO? MOVE IT, MOVE IT, NOW!

Louie: Hey, up there, is someone screaming?

Olimar: Let me just come down there...

SUBLEVEL 4

Louie: Look at all these pipes! And look at the purple air-thingy! I don't know what it is, so I sniffed some of it. I started coughing.

Olimar: I think that those pipes are releasing gas. Maybe purples can withstand it... Let's give it a try.

Olimar carefully aimed at one of the numerous gas piper in the area and flung a purple at it. The poor purple's pink flower turned the color of the gas, and it started running around, confused and all that stuff.

"AAAH! Get it off me! It's all over me! It's eating me! Ooh, I never wanted to die! I promise, I'll give you anything! My GameCube, my chocolates, my children! JUST PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I just wanted to be loved (- from TimeSplitters 3: Future Perfect)! Mommy, please help! It's tearing me apart! I swear I won't throw stuff down the toilet EVER AGAIN! I won't lie! HELP!"

Olimar peacefully whistled to the mad purple and the flower got back.

"I'll give you my laptop! I'll give you my best friend!"

"Ed, idiot, it's over!"

"Wha- Ooh. Thanks god. That's right. NOBODY MESSES WITH THE ALMIGHTY ED!"

"Ed, so it was YOU who clogged the toilet... I had to spend over three hours fixing it, while everyone else was waiting in line behind me, trying to get in and doing what they wanted to do. God."

"And you would have given me away..."

Olimar: Then it must be the whites that can withstand and survive poisonous gas! Louie, throw five whites on the pipes!

Louie did as told and the whites destroyed them.

"Hey, whites, how did you do that?"

"Well, we just kept our mouths and noses shut and did not breathe. I bet the clueless leaders are thinking that we can survive even when breathing this stupid purple gas..."

Olimar and Louie made the whites disable all the gas pipes while the reds were sitting near the Pod. Then, they found an item. It was pretty big, and it was treasure.

"Hey, dude, look at that! It looks like a mushroom!"

"Right. I believe you."

"... Now it's a flower."

"Right. I believe you."

"NOW ITS ME"

"Right. I believe you."

"Billy, you're weird."

"Right. I believe you."

Olimar and Louie swarmed five whites at the mushroom and started carrying it back to the Pod. Then, Olimar found another treasure, and it was on a severed tree trunk, and it was close to the crack on the ground. It needed another Pikmin to lift so Olimar went back and grabbed five reds, and with the help of the whites, they carried it back under the green light.

Pod- I call this treasure... Well, it's worth only 30 Pokos, so, the Useless Garbage.

Olimar: I think that Toxic Toadstool would be nicer. Oh, and don't call me a-

Pod- The other one, called the Survival Ointment, is worth 90 Pokos.

Louie: Captain, our treasure gauges went off, we must be near treasure! Let's go!

Louie ran, tripped and fell in the crack. Olimar heard a loud 'thump' as Louie crashed into the ground. Olimar ignored all that and he just jumped in the hole, falling and landing on Louie.

LAST FLOOR!

Louie: LAST FLOOR! Yeah! There must be a boss! I can't wait to see the looks on its face when I am going to throw this rock at it! It'll turn red! HAHAHA-

Olimar slapped him and threw the rock upward, into the crack. It came back down and hit Louie on the head.

Louie: Captain, ever thought of joining the NSL?

Olimar: NSL?

Louie: National Shot-put League...

Olimar left all Pikmin and Louie behind and explored the area solo. He reached a large oval shaped arena. Olimar looked everywhere but could not see the boss. Maybe there was none. But when he took a step and heard a loud rumble underground, he knew what he was going to face. Big Mama.

Olimar quickly ran back to the Pod. He quickly told Louie what he was going to face and grabbed 20 reds.

Louie: Wait, what YOU'LL face? What about me?

Olimar: You caused too much trouble, you'll get us all killed. Stay here and watch after the whites and Purples.

Olimar ran back at the arena and the ground shook. A big, snake-like creature with a bird's head quickly emerged from the ground and looked at Olimar and his reds. It tried to grab some with its beak but Olimar moved the reds. The Burrowing Snarget went back into the ground. It moved a bit and re-emerged in front of the army. Olimar threw some Pikmin on its head and they started hitting it with their flowers. The Snarget flinched at the pain as blood flew away from its hurt head. It went back underground and the Pikmin were tossed away, and some were de-flowered and became back leaves. Some turned into buds.

**meanwhile**

Louie sat down and looked at the Pikmin, who were looking back at him with their big eyes. They were studying him. Louie looked to his right and saw the fight between the reds and the Burrowing Snarget. Louie thought of what kind of meal he could make out of the beast's snake-like torso. He could chop it down into some original, fun shapes and barbecue them along with some fine Hocotate onions. At the thought of that, he got hungry. He slowly stood up and looked around for another Pik Mac.

**meanwhile**

Olimar looked behind him and turned around. He moved the Pikmin away and dodged the creature's beak just in time. Olimar glanced at the snake-bird's red eye. Blood was rushing out of it. It dug back underground and moved behind Olimar. Olimar knew that that was going to happen and turned around. The ground shook and the Snarget's beak could be seen. Olimar waited a couple of seconds and understood that the Snarget had some trouble emerging. This was his chance. Olimar threw 15 Pikmin at the beak and the reds started smashing it. Half of the Burrowing Snarget's body emerged and it looked around to see what was happening. Olimar threw the remaining five red Pikmin at its head. The Snarget still lived and shook the Pikmin away, de-flowering all of them. Three were buds. It burrowed back into the ground and moved around. Olimar foreshadowed the Snarget to appear behind him, but he was wrong. The Snarget emerged right in front of him. Olimar looked defeated. This was it. It was going to eat him. The Snarget quickly lowered its head and opened its beak in front of Olimar, but what was quicker was the speed of the small object that struck the Burrowing Snarget's head. It howled and fell to the ground, defeated. Olimar opened his eyes. He saw the Snarget's body explode, leaving the small head behind. A strange, weird-shaped treasure was shot from its mouth. Olimar looked behind him. He saw Louie standing there, with a rock in his hand.

Louie: Told you I was going to throw a rock at the thing.

He grabbed the purples, whites and the other reds and brought them back to Olimar, who made them bring back the head and the treasure. Louie was now eating another burger, the Pik Mac.

Pod- Artifact worth a flippin' 100 Pokos, I call it the Five-Man Napsack. UPGRADE! Now you can press and hold Y after dismissing all your Pikmin to sit down and relax. You will be invulnerable to some attacks and now Pikmin and Dweevils will be able to carry you as if you were treasure. Which you are not, you guys are just trash.

Louie: How do I press Y? What's that mean?

Pod- It's for the dude who's playing the game, dumbass.

Olimar smashed open some eggs and flowered the whites and the reds in the fierce battle. Then, Louie walked to the geyser and went back to the surface. Olimar followed him and all the Pikmin were shot upward and out of the cave.

BACK AT AWAKENING WOOD

Olimar looked at his watch and checked the time. It was still mid-day. He was tired though, so he went back to the ship and went to sleep. Louie followed him and went back in the ship, too, after putting all the Pikmin back in the ship. The day was over.

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

Everyone was watching TV in the red Onion. Many Pikmin were sitting on a large sofa, some were standing up, and Joanna and Devon were watching it while cooking dinner. Some were drink a Coke, some were eating an appetizer, others were just chewing gum. Today, a strange sport game was on TV. It was made of two teams of Bulbmin, all 30 (15/15) on each side, holding a bat. A ball on fire was in the center of the field. You had to run to the center and grab the ball (like Dodgeball) and kick it (like Soccer) in a ring. You could move around while bouncing the ball on the ground (like B-Ball) and to pass it, you had to throw it in the air and hit it with the bat (like Baseball). The other team is trying to tackle you, and your team can defend you by smashing against the other players (like Football). If you hit a player of the enemy team, you get a red card and you get sent out for the rest of the match. You have to get 50 points and you win. Today, the top two teams, Red Poop and Dried Blood, were versing. Both teams were at 36 points. Mario and John were chatting on the sofa.

"John, I betcha Red Poop is gonna win!"

"How much, Mario?"

"About-a 15 American Dollars!"

"Oh no, unless it's bathrooms, I'm out."

Luis and Sabrina were also chatting.

"Who do you think is going to win, Sabrina?"

"Well, I think Dried Blood, because of that excellent Bulbmin, what was her name..."

"You mean Bulbmina IV?"

"No, the other one, Luis..."

"Oh, B. B. M.! Yeah. She's pretty good."

"Yes, her. Who do you think is gonna win?"

"Me? Dried Blood. There's no way Red Poop can win..."

Then, after about 30 more minutes (an average game lasts 4 hours) the game was over. Red Poop won 50-48. Many reds were sad that their favorite team lost, and others were happy. Now it was dinner time, and everyone sat around the table to chat while they were waiting for dinner. In a corner, Joe, Bob, Mario and Luigi were chatting. They call themselves the 'Super Bros.'.

"Hey, Luigi, I heard you won a bet a minute ago. True?"

"Yeah, Bob, I won-a 3 Super Mario Bros GameBoy Advance games-a from-a Mary."

"Hey dude, I have, like, a PikCube in my room, it's upstairs."

"Good-a, Joe, what-a games do you have?"

"I have like, totally awesome games! Kirby AirRide, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, Mario Power Tennis, Metroid Prime: Echoes, Donkey Kong Jungle beat WITH THE TOTALLY COOL BONGAS, Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time, Sonic Heroes, Super Smash Brothers Melee, TimeSplitters 2, and-"

"No TimeSplitters 3: Future-a Perfect?"

"Nope, that stuff stinks. That's it, maybe I have more, I forgot..."

"I wanna sleep over at your-a room!"

"Ask James and Luis, they are our room-mates."

"DINNER IS READY!"

Devon and Joanna came walking in the room holding many enormous plates.

"OK, everyone, settle down. Today we have a lot to eat! A flattened Cloaking Burrow-Nit pizza, two fried Dwarf Red Bulborbs and a roasted Red Bulborb. There is a boiled Creeping Chrysanthemum's head for you vegetarians out there! EAT UP!"

After everyone ate all their food, they went in their rooms. Mario and Luigi went upstairs with Bob and Joe and into their rooms, where Luis and James were playing PikCube.

"Hey, I'll take a number six with a large sprite!"

"Shut up."

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?"

"I thought they could sleep over, so... can you guys sleep in their room?"

"Who's their room-mates?"

"Their-a Derek and-a Anthony!"

"THE MEAN DUDE AND THE WIMP? I'll regret it... but... OK."

They walked out of the room and into Mario and Luigi's room. The moment they were out, Luigi, Mario, Joe, and Bob sat down and turned off the PikCube, inserted SSBM (Super Smash Bros Melee) and started playing. They played for about 3 hours, and Joe ALWAYS won as Mr. Game and Watch. Then they went to sleep.

**END OF DAY 3- BIG MAMA**

_Sorry for not updating the story for 2 days... Thanks for all the reviews, everyone! Well, end of chapter 5. Pretty long chapter, huh? Now... FOR SOME QUESTIONS! Why is the FanFic's title 'The Stupid Quest'? Will the President repay the debt? Will there be new locations (Awakening Wood, etc.)? Why am I asking you so many questions? Find out ALL the answers to these questions on day 4, one of the most important (and shortest) chapters in the whole FanFic! It's like a KEY for the FanFic! Be sure not to miss it! KirbyXtreme is here to **REMIND YOU TO REVIEW THIS STORY!**_


	6. Day 4 The Stupid Quest Begins

_Note: Due to some problems with my asterisk (little star) I will use (little start) as ((. Hope you understood... _

**DAY 4- THE STUPID QUEST **(does not)** BEGINS**(s /) (yet)

INSIDE THE WHITES' SIDE OF THE SHIP!

Leonard was the first white Pikmin to wake up. He needed to take a piss... When he came back, he heard some noises. He turned to look at David, who was talking in his sleep. He was saying something like this.

"Yeah... You got something on your cheek... It's a Tommy Gun... Hehe... Tommy Gun belongs to Tommy... Hehe... No, it's a Vintage Rifle... Haha... I get the guns and aim at the tomatoes. The tomatoes say 'mommy' and die before I kill them... I'm hungry... I wanna shoot down everyone in a battle field... Where's the eggs?"

Leonard ignored David and went back to bed, only to be awakened by the loud ring of the alarm clock. Jesse turned it off.

"TIME TO EAT! What's for breakfast?"

"It's the usual Buffet, idiot..."

"Hey, look! I made Kirby eat a sandwich in the game!"

"MATTHEW, THAT GAMEBOY WAS ON THE WHOLE NIGHT"

"Yeah, it was... I slept next to it. It's my best buddy!"

Max woke up, too. He was in a different room, sleeping with Billy, Robert, and Jennifer II. He climbed down the stairs and went in the Rec Room. There he saw a diamond chess set. He sat down and started playing against himself.

Robert woke up, too. He glanced at the clock.

"What? 8:00 AM? The thing woke me up for that? I want to sleep!"

All ten whites met downstairs in the kitchen, and after eating breakfast (a Snarget's and an Empress Bulblax's head) they waited for the leaders to wake up and call them out. That happened five minutes later, and everyone got out of the ship and into Awakening Wood.

OUTSIDE!

Olimar waited for the whites to get behind him, and then called out the 24 purples. He had 34 Pikmin so far, and after calling out all 40 reds, and army of 74 Pikmin was ready for battle behind him.

Olimar: OK, partner, let's make today a Pikmin day!

Louie: What's that?

Olimar: A Pikmin day is a day in which you try to grow as many Pikmin as possible of one color. The whites and purples will help us defeat enemies and carry them back to the red onion.

Louie: What if the purples and whites carry the carcass back to another onion?

Olimar: ... There's only 1 onion so far, and that's the red one.

Louie: I knew that... I was just testing you...

The two leaders, closely followed by the massive army of 74 Pikmin, marched through the big stones, and into the area where the Burgeoning Spiderworts are.

Olimar: Louie, you make some red sprays out of these berries while I go and defeat enemies to make more Pikmin.

Louie: Darn, I wanted to body slam some enemies today...

Olimar moved away from Louie after giving him half of the reds, and with the other 20, the purples, and the whites, he moved on. He turned right, where there once was the paper bag, and he destroyed it. He saw another shell of a Cloaking Burrow-Nit. He dismissed his Pikmin and walked towards the shell, awakening the beast. Then, Olimar whistled all of the Pikmin and killed the Cloaking Burrow-Nit with ease. He assigned a couple of Pikmin to carry it back to their onions. Olimar walked on with his army and saw a white gate with purple gas at the bottom. Olimar thought that the gas would make the reds unable to work on the gate because of the gas. So, he set the ten whites on the gate, and they started pounding it. Olimar waited and waited, but not even one third of the wall had been brought down. He looked to his left and saw a familiar crack on the ground, leading to the White Flower Garden. He decided to go in it with 10 red Pikmin, which he would turn into whites. He dismissed them all except for Tim, Karina, Junior, John, Kate, Vikram, Brian, Alex, Jessica, and Derek. The other Pikmin watched as Olimar jumped into the hole and returned less that a second later (time does not pass in caverns). Olimar set these on the wall, too. Then he waited.

**meanwhile**

Louie managed to knock down 20 berries and make two red sprays, and then he waited for other berries to grow, and when that happened, Louie saw two orange bugs advancing towards the plants. Louie had this strange feeling deep inside his stomach. A menacing voice said 'Louie, it is your chance, body slam the two bugs!' Another voice said 'No, Louie, remember what the captain said... Uhmm... What did he say? Oh, forget it, body slam!'. And so, Louie took off and body slammed the nearest bug, which got knocked over, hit the wall, and died. Louie turned around and saw the other bug starting to burrow back into the ground in fear, but Louie was quicker and body slammed that, too. Then he made two Pikmin carry them back to the onion. He plucked the Pikmin.

"Ashley II!"

"Tyler II!"

Louie turned around and saw a couple of reds carrying back a Cloaking Burrow-Nit. They placed it under the onion and Louie called them to his side and plucked the new seeds.

"Katherine II!"

"Alexander II!"

"Angelica II!"

Then, he went back to the plants and made two more sprays. He got all of the Pikmin and went to Olimar, who was working on the white gate.

Louie: Done with the berries, Captain!

Olimar: How many red sprays, Louie?

Louie: Four!

The whites finally brought the gate down. Olimar looked at the new area but could not see any enemies. So, he went back to the area where the Hole of Beasts was and turned left instead of right. He saw another poisoned white gate, which the whites took down quickly. Olimar glanced at a peaceful (looking) sunflower. He watched a flower and saw a strange movement. He blinked and looked again. He saw an eye blink back at him. Olimar knew that that was not a peaceful little sunflower, instead it was a... Creeping Chrysanthemum (OMG). Olimar told that to Louie and each held a purple, with the others behind him. They threw all purples at the Creeping Chrysanthemum as it was rising, and before it even became aware of what was happening, it collapsed, defeated. Then, Olimar saw a bungle of twigs nearby and swarmed all Pikmin at it. They started building a bridge. When that was over, Olimar assigned some reds to bring back the Creeping Chrysanthemum's mouth by passing the bridge.

"Waiaum! This thing is pretty heavy, dude!"

"Yes, Joe, I am tired, too..."

"You're always tired, James."

"I know, Jason II."

"Dud dis gi's a wimp"

"Ted said, 'Dude, this guy is a wimp.'. Who is, Ted?"

"Ntny he's xrd."

"He said, 'Anthony, he is scared.'. Of what, Anthony?"

"What if this mouth we are carrying will open up and eat us?"

"Oh god, SHUT UP!"

The reds placed the mouth under the onion and 8 seeds were shot up. Olimar and Louie came back and plucked those.

"Tyler III!"

"Lauren M.!"

"Jim!"

"Asia!"

"Tiana II!"

"Tina II!"

"Grace II!"

"Jeffrey II!"

"Lauren M.? Then... What's Lauren?"

"I am Lauren S.! The new one is Lauren M.!"

"Whatever."

Pod- ATTENTION! ATTENTION! You received a mail from the PRESIDENT! OMG! I'll read it to you.

Olimar and Louie paid close attention as the Pod began reading the mail.

Pod- Arhem... ((puts on glasses))

Dear Olimar and Louie,

I have great news! I found 10,000 Pokos (on the ground) near my house! Incredible, huh? Well, I figured that I do not need you guys on that planet after all, and you can keep the money you made.

Olimar+Louie: YES!

Pod- BUT, I do need you on that planet. You see, because I ran out of money, my wife divorced, and I sent her a gift and a card saying 'I got all the money back!'. BUT, the gift never came to her! I researched and found the gift none other than in the planet you're at! So, your new mission (QUEST!) is to find the present! Below is a picture of it. Oh, and you will need a full day to start the quest and look for my gift. So, good night.

Olimar: ... So... he wants us to look for a stupid present... in this enormous planet twice the size of Hocotate... It could be anywhere. Right Louie? Louie?

Louie was laying there on the ground after he passed out.

Olimar: ((imitates Louie's voice)) Yeah, Captain.

INSIDE THE PURPLE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Sorry, the purples are so big that there is no room to do anything in there, so there will be no more 'Purple's side of the ship' unless something important happens.

**END OF DAY 4- THE STUPID QUEST **(does not)** BEGINS**(s /) (yet)

_Well, I told you it was going to be a short but important chapter. The present is a... RUBBER DUCKY! Yeah. Stupid present, the wife won't get back with him again for SURE... Well, weird title, huh? The stupid quest begins but it does not begin. Whatever... I will not be able to update much this week due to school testing. Bye. KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS FANFIC!**_


	7. Day 1 NM The Dude Pikmin

**DAY 1 (NEW MISSION)- THE DUDE PIKMIN**

INSIDE THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE SHIP!

Olimar woke up. He stood up and turned the alarm clock off. Louie was still sleeping, so Olimar woke him up.Louie: What's today, Captain?

Olimar: I told you it's day 5.

Louie: ... And what are we doing?

Olimar: Looking for a rubber ducky. Over the night, I have calculated that the duck must be in one of seven different locations. I studied the globe we found on our second day and looked at the seven areas. One is underwater, one is covered in a white material, one is full of leaves, one is a very hot area, one is in a wide, dark cave, the sixth is in another place covered in the same white substance and full of lakes, and the last is the one we are on right now. Well, I'll let you decide where to go first.

Louie: I'll have a medium double Whopper™ with onions, large fries, a large diet Coke, well, Pepsi will be fine, and a large caramel sundae. How much will it be?

Olimar: Louie, snap out of it. You ate four Pik Macs last night.

Louie: OK, let's go to the wide, dark cave first.

Olimar: Fine, the cave shall it be.

Louie: Wait, DARK cave? Actually, I'll go to the place full of leaves...

Olimar: Too late. I already gave instructions for the ship to go to the Navel Forest.

Louie: ... Where's that?

Olimar: The dark cave, imbecile.

OUTSIDE!

Olimar and Louie were tossed out of the ship. Olimar got the whites and the purples out of the ship, and Louie got the reds. There was a total of... wait... 43+15+24 82 Pikmin (I got to get ready for the math test next week). Yeah, 82 Pikmin. The two leaders marched out of the area and, avoiding the water, into an open area full of enemies who had not spotted the army and leaders yet. Olimar remembered this place. It was once full of Fiery Blowhogs, but now it was different. The Fiery Blowhogs had been replaced with Spotty Bulbears and Wollywogs. The Bulbears were running around looking for food with Dwarf Bulbears closely following them. There were about 4 Bulbears total, and 12 Dwarves; 10 Wollywogs were looking directly at Olimar and Louie, waiting for them to get closer. Olimar turned to Louie and explained him his strategy for killing all enemies.

Olimar: OK, Louie, this is the plan: first of all, no body slamming. The earth will probably shake if you miss, causing an earthquake resulting in a mass extinction.

Louie: D-Shizznit!

Olimar: I will go out and get the attention of a Bulbear, and you get ready with the purples and throw them at it when I tell you. Watch out for the Dwarf Bulbears, swarm them with the reds and kill them quickly. When that is done, assign the whites and some reds to bring the carcasses back to the red onion. Then, I'll lure another Bulbear, and you repeat the process until we kill every last one of them. Clear?

Louie: Yes, ma'am.

Olimar: Just shut up.

Louie: MA'AM YES MA'AM!

Olimar slapped Louie and walked on the clearing, getting a Bulbear and the Dwarves' attention. Olimar ran back to Louie, making sure that the enemies were following him.

Olimar: NOW!

Louie quickly threw all 24 of the purples on the Bulbear and swarmed the rest of the Pikmin at the 3 Dwarves following it. All four of them quickly died and Louie assigned whites and reds to bring everything back.

"Hey, Anthony, dare me to ask Lauren M. out?"

"Hm? Yeah, sure, Joseph II."

Joseph II walked over to Lauren M..

"Hi, Lauren M.."

"Do I know you?"

"No, well... yes, but no, no."

"What do you want?"

"Well, I kinda noticed that you were really attractive, so... Do you wanna go out with me? On a date?"

"Sorry, but I am not going out with no second. Come back later when you are 'Joseph I' and I will think about it."

Joseph II went back to Anthony.

"How did it go?"

"Nope. Oh well."

"Yeah, too bad. Why did you want to ask her out anyways?"

"She is so... attractive. That's all I can say."

"Yeah, I noticed that. If I'd go there and ask her out, I'd die before she even answers me. Die of fear, that is..."

"Wimp."

Olimar walked over to the second Bulbear and Louie pounded that one with purples, too. He killed the Dwarves with the reds. Some purples helped on that, too. The Pikmin carried the dead back to the onion. Olimar lured another Bulbear, and this time the Dwarves managed to eat 2 red Pikmin. After all the Bulbears were killed and were being carried back, Olimar and Louie went back to the camp. They looked at the idle Pikmin sitting in front of the red onion. It was so crowded that they could not see how many seeds were made. Olimar whistled them all to his side and looked at the seeds. There were many of them. Louie was counting them and stopped at a certain seed.

Louie: Hey, Captain, what's that?

Olimar looked at the object Louie was pointing at. It was a black stem. Olimar blinked and checked again. Yes, it was a black seed. Under the red onion. There were many other, too. The two looked as other reds and purples placed the dead Bulbears under the red light of the onion. Olimar and Louie watched as 6 red seeds were shot up in the air and 10 black ones were shot, too.

Olimar: So wait, let me get this straight. For every Spotty Bulbear that Pikmin carry back to their onion, 10 black seeds are released. Interesting...

Pod- Yeah yeah, fascinating. Whatever, just pluck those seeds.

Olimar: Pluck the 18 red ones first.

"Tyler IV!"

"Shane II!"

"Roy!"

"Jared!"

"Elizabeth!"

"Hannah!"

"Kendrick!"

"Victor!"

"Alexis!"

"Dominic!"

"Blair!"

"Justin!"

"Felicia D.!"

"Drake!"

"Emily!"

"Andrew!"

"Eddie!"

"Annette!"

Olimar: OK, Louie, since there are 100 Pikmin in the field, we must put some back in the onion. Let's see... there are 30 black seeds, so put in 4 purples and 26 reds.

Louie did as told and Olimar wrapped his hands around the stem. He pulled it upward, and out came a... black Pikmin.

"Yo homie!"

Its whole body was black, except for the leaf, which were gray. There were no eyes. Olimar hypothesized that this new species of Pikmin uses smell and touch to move around. Their hearing must be great, too, as they could hear the leaders' whistle almost anywhere. Olimar and Louie pulled all the 29 other seeds. These Pikmin made no noises when pulled. Maybe they could not talk, too. WRONG!

"Yo what's up dudes?"

"Hey, blacks, why didn't you call out your names when you were pulled from the ground?"

"Cuz we all the same, we all brothers. Yeah."

"You mean, you don't have any names?"

"You got it, man!"

"And you are all the same?"

"All same, same style of talkin', same way of walkin', same everything. We like clones. Yo s'up. Reds, purples, whites... Cool man! Many colors, huh?"

"Wait, so say you want to talk to a specific black Pikmin. What do you do?"

"You just call him."

"And what do you say?"

"YO DUDE!"

"But then everyone is a dude..."

"Drop it, kid."

"Where do you live?"

"We telling you later, dude. We make our own onion out of shit like leaves, Bulbear skin, and other stuff."

"You guys blind?"

"Yeah."

"But aren't you part Bulbear, the beast with the big eyes?"

"Yeah, but we're also part Water Dumples."

"You mean the blind enemies?"

"Look, kid, what's your name?"

"I'm Jenny, a red Pikmin, why?"

"STOP ASKING FRIGGIN' QUESTIONS!"

Pod- Oh wow. A black Pikmin. It probably never took a shower... Still, how nice it is to see many Pikmin of different colors, or races, work together in peace and harmony! Oh, how I wish it was the same with Hocotate... Or at least with YOU guys, R and S.

Olimar took a few notes on black Pikmin and went back to the wide area, still full of Wollywogs. Olimar went with purples and squashed them all with ease.

Olimar: I wonder what would happen if I made the blacks carry the enemies back to the landing zone... What do you think is going to happen, partner Louie?

Louie: I dunno.

Olimar tried anyways and made the blacks carry back the 10 Wollywog carcasses, and the two leaders and the army followed them until they reached the landing area. Then the blacks piled the carcasses and made one big mountain.

Louie: That's it? They made a big pile of junk?

Olimar: SHUT UP AND LOOK!

The black Pikmin started ripping up the body parts of the wollywogs and set them aside. Then, they tore the skin apart and placed it on the ground, forming a big, wide carpet.

Louie: They are torturing dead people. OK now, that is the most stupid thing I've ever seen.

The blacks produced some strange sticky material and stuck the skin together. Then, they grabbed all the bodies and put them on the carpet. Then they started to talk to Olimar, who did not understand.

"Yo dude, wherever you are, we need more dead stuff."

"Yeah. If you can see us or talk to us, say 'OK'."

"Bros, I don't think that the dudes can hear us."

"No shit, Sherlock!"

"If you can hear me and you are not deaf clap your hands!"

"Dude's dead."

Olimar and Louie looked at the blacks, who were waving at a totally different direction (they were blind).

Louie: I think thy want something. Burgers? With or without ketchup?

Olimar: They must have more carcasses.

"DUDES!"

"Quick, before the friggin' Breadbugs come and jack our stuff!"

Olimar and Louie turned and saw a bunch of Breadbugs marching (slowly) towards the dead, ripped up (or like Louie said, tortured) bodies of the Wollywogs.

Olimar: To kill a Breadbug, simply throw a Purple on it. It may take a couple of times, but it works.

The two leaders did as Olimar suggested and soon carcasses of several Breadbugs littered the place.

"Bros, I smell dead Breadbugs!"

"Let's get them!"

The white, purple and red Pikmin and the two leaders stared as the blacks grabbed the carcasses. A black even tripped on a rock. Then, after ripping up the body and setting the skin apart, they put the parts of the Breadbugs in the Wollywog's skin, on top of the ripped-up parts of the Wollywogs. Each of the 30 blacks grabbed an end of the skin and folded it inwards, covering the carcasses. Then they tied it and used the same substance from the leaves to harden the whole thing a bit. They used their small hands and made the sculpture in the shape of an onion. Then they grabbed the skin of the Breadbugs and hardened that too, and made it in the shape of long stuff, and after sticking it to the onion, they became the 'legs'.

"TADAA! A perfect onion. Great job, bros."

"Yeah, cool."

The onion stood up and produced a strange dark light. Now black Pikmin had their own onion and were able to produce Pikmin regularly. Olimar and Louie moved back to the wide area and moved on to their right. There was a mark probably telling that there once was a white gate there, but Olimar took care of it on his last journey (about a month ago). Olimar reminded Louie of what they were looking for. Olimar decided to spread out.

Louie: Wait, we are looking for a rubber ducky, right?

Olimar: Right.

Louie: And black Pikmin can smell as good as a vacuum-cleaner, right?

Olimar: Well, vacuum-cleaners can't smell.

Louie: Ya know what I mean. Well, our suits are made out of rubber, too, right?

Olimar: I think I know where this is going...

Louie: Let's just make the black Pikmin smell our suits and them they'll track down the rubber ducky!

Olimar: Louie! You're a genius!

The blacks smelled the suits.

"Dude, WTF."

"Right, bro. WTF is this smell?"

"Dunno. Maybe the friggin' leaders want us to track down this smell."

"I can't smell no shit."

"Same here, bro."

"Dudes, it's not here. Let's just lie and lead off somewhere else, cool?"

"Cool."

The blacks moved all in different directions.

Olimar: Louie, there are many objects made of rubber here, but one of them has to be the president's gift to the ex-wife! Spread out, we may be able to find the present today!

Louie: And then we can keep the money we made! OOH, dreams... I'll be rich and famous, having a mansion full of kitchens and food, my own TV cooking show, a bug collection, a pool, a billiard room, and so much other stuff...

Olimar: That'll be the day.

Louie followed a black that lead him towards the water, but when the Pikmin heard the sound of Wogpoles in the lake, it moved away, avoiding the water and sure death. It moved into a large, open area full of sand. It walked across that into an area that seems to have formed not too long ago, maybe a month. Well, he walked to that area with 15 black Pikmin leading him and they all stopped at a white gate. Louie swarmed his part of the Pikmin and they started bringing it down.

**meanwhile**

Olimar was following the 15 blacks. He whistled them to his side because there was a strange mushroom-looking enormous enemy. Olimar knew what this was. The tricky and deadly Puffstool. This enemy can produce a spray that, if it comes in contact with Pikmin, poison them and turn them into ZOMBIE PIKMIN! Olimar knew that he had to defeat the Puffstool in order to keep going, so he slowly walked in the area, and then ran at full speed, swarming the pikmin at the enemy. The Puffstool tripped and turned over, and the small legs were trying to get back where they belong (the ground). Olimar threw as many Pikmin at the mushroom, hoping that it would not turn back over and spray the Pikmin. The health was getting lower and lower, but then the Puffstool stood back up again and prepared to spray the Pikmin. Olimar managed to get all the purples and the blacks back. All the reds made it, too, except for 7 that were still attacking. The whites stayed there, too, still attacking the legs. The Puffstool covered the Pikmin in spores and the 7 reds turned purple and they looked different. The whites were, strangely, unaffected. Soon the Puffstool died and the whites came back to Olimar. The zombie Pikmin were still alive, though. Olimar knew what he had to do. Make the Pikmin attack them, and kill them, or they'll infect some of the purples and purples, too. Olimar killed the zombies.

"Yo dude, why did our guys turn purple?"

"Shut up, Joe."

"Don't worry, he'll shut up, Justin."

"You shut up too, Luis."

"Gee, thanks."

"Don't tell Luis to shut up!"

"Why not, Sabrina?"

"Whatever."

Olimar reached a message from the Pod.

Pod- Time to go, it's getting late.

Olimar started going back to the ship, and when he got there, he saw Louie, too. Apparently he got the message, too. The two leaders put every Pikmin back in their onion and they went in the ship. The day was over.

INSIDE THE BLACK ONION!

"What's for friggin' dinner?"

The blacks were all sitting down and drinking some beer (don't do this at home). Some were already asleep.

"Yo, eat the walls. Full of Wollywogs and Breadbugs, they are."

"Dude, trying to be like Yoda?"

"Like soda? No, I have a beer, no soda dude."

"I said friggin' Yoda, the Pik Wars dude. From the movie."

"Just eat the walls, dude."

"K."

After taking a bite of the wall, the black went in the kitchen, trying not to trip over anything.

"Dude, we forgot to put salt on the walls."

"Put it yourself, homie."

"Yo, shut up, you two."

"Why, dude?"

"I'm watching friggin' TV."

"Ya don't have stupid eyes, dude."

"Just shut up, man."

Some yawned and stretched. They were all tired and sleepy.

"Yo, where do we sleep?"

"On the fat sofas, dude."

"K."

"Gimme some pillows."

"Get your own, homie."

"Fine, dude."

"Hey bros, why we all the same?"

"Yo, don't like it?"

"Yeah, luv it, just that we're all saying 'dude', 'homie', and 'yo' all time, can't take it."

"You'll hear it for the rest of your stupid life, dude, get used to it."

"I'd rather commit friggin' suicide."

"Like that dude on that movie?"

"What dude in what movie?"

"That dude in that movie, 'The revenge of the Dudes'."

"I'll go to friggin; sleep. See ya."

"Dude, we're blind."

"So what?"

"So we can't stinkin' see each other."

"What's with the friggin' smell?"

"Shut up, biatch."

"The whole place is full of stinkin' junk."

"Clean up after yourselves, your mommy ain't here to do that for you, dudes."

"Night."

"Night."

"Night."

"Night."

"Night."

"Night."

"I'm the only one awake. Cool- zzzzzzzzz..."

"Brush your teeth, dude."

**END OF DAY 2 (NM)- THE DUDE PIKMIN**

_So, hope you liked the black Pikmin. Pretty messy and loud in their onion... Anyways, here's some short info about each color._

**Reds**

Total- 51

**Purples**

Total- 24

**Whites**

Total- 15

**Blacks**

Total- 30

_That's pretty much it. KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS STORY!**_


	8. Day 2 NM Yo, I'm the blue Halo clock, or...

**DAY 2 (NM)- YO, I'M THE BLUE HALO CLOCK (OR 'THE DRUNK DAY')**

INSIDE THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE SHIP!

Olimar: Well, Louie, time to get up.

Louie: Mommy, I don't wanna go to school!

Olimar: Get up or I'll send a squad of red Pikmin here and take care of this.

Louie opened his eyes and stood up. He looked around and saw Olimar standing there, holding a baseball bat on his right hand.

Louie: Captain, why are you holding that bat?

Olimar: Hm? This bat? Well, I thought I might have used it on your head if you would have not woken up, but I guess that you don't need this anymore... Now tell me... DO YOU...

Louie: NO! I don't have any money! Leave me alone, gangster!

Olimar: ... Where do you want to go today?

Louie: Ch... ch... o...

Olimar: Ch... ch-what?

Louie: Ch...

Olimar: Yo, wake up.

Louie: What are the choices?

Olimar: One is underwater, one is covered in a white material, one is full of leaves, one is a very hot area, one where we now are on, the sixth is in another place covered in the same white substance and full of lakes, and the last is the second place we've been on.

Louie: Uhmm... How 'bout the one in the very hot area?

Olimar: Pod, get us to the hot area. NOW.

Pod- Oh wow. Nice way to start the day, 'Pod, get us to the hot area. NOW.'. Not even a 'Good morning, dear Pod, the almighty overlord who protects us and takes care of us and has two idiots with a retarded light on their heads, the fruit pies.'. Fine, RACIST.

Louie: Hey, I'm going downstairs and take a look at the purples and whites. I want to see what they are doing this early in the morning.

Olimar: Tell me later.

Louie drank some cappuccino and climbed down the stairs, unlocking a door, walking up to the next one. He inserted a password, and the door split ope, revealing another one.

Louie: Wow, so many doors. Captain must think that Pikmin can be very dangerous. I wonder how many other doors there are...

Well, the answer to this question did not come very early, as Louie had to pass through doors where he had to insert passwords, scan a card, leave imprints of fingers on shiny lights, let his eye get scanned, say 'Open' to activate the voice identification system, and much more. Finally, as the last door parted, he walked in the room and saw white Pikmin sleeping on blue mattresses. One was already up, and staring at Louie in disbelief.

"HEY GUYS WAKE UP BLUE LEADERS HERE"

Louie looked around him as the fourteen other whites woke up. Louie went near one.

"Oh man, I gotta pee!"

The white ran away and locked a door behind him.

Louie: Poor white, it must be scared of me...

The whites started to talk to themselves.

"Hey guys, why can't we understand what he is saying?"

"Because he is not like us."

"He is right."

"Let's just kill or torture him!"

"Maybe we can invent a device that will make us understand what we are saying, and them understand us!"

"Just shut up."

Louie got bored. He went back to the main floor (where he had to unlock thousands of steel doors) and to Olimar. Meanwhile, the ship already landed on the new area.

Olimar: Well, Louie, let's check it out!

OUTSIDE!

Olimar and Louie got out 20 blacks, 15 whites, 20 purples, and 45 reds. Olimar looked around. The whole place was covered in hot sand, and it stretched for miles and miles. He looked in the distance, just to see more sand. He was on a desert.

Olimar: How can a giant rubber ducky be in a DESERT?

Louie: Well, think about it, when last time you asked me why I had a Super Smash Bros Melee GameCube disk on my nose while I was jumping around and singing a song I made up.

Olimar: ... OK, that was random. Well, let's split up looking for the gift. I go East and you go West.

Louie: Why do we always have to split up? I am scared!

Olimar: Shut up. We'll split up.

Louie: OK... Which way is West?

Olimar: That way.

Olimar got 15 blacks, 8 whites, 12 purples, and 23 reds, and he gave Louie the rest. Then he moved right, into the nothingness (...).

Olimar looked around, trying to see something other than sand in the sandy area that is fully covered in sandy sand, but he saw nothing but the same sand that was sandy. Olimar could not understand how the ship and the Pod had figured out that there is a plastic or rubber item here in the desert he was standing on. Was it a joke? No, the Pod was not programmed to make a joke. So, he just let the blacks smell his suit again. The blacks looked very confused.

"Hey guys, I can't smell anything like that here. How 'bout you?"

"Nope."

"Na-ah."

"Forget it."

"Shall we lie again, bros?"

"Nah, we lie too much..."

"Then let's just sit down."

"Yeah, and relax."

"And smell no shit."

All 15 of the blacks sat down. Olimar looked depressed. There was no item like that here. Or at least in the area he was on... He looked at the blacks, who were playing with the sand. One was throwing some on another black's eyeless (WTF) face. Some were just throwing it high in the air. Olimar looked up above his head and saw three suns brightly shining. There were no clouds to be seen anywhere. He looked back down and saw big writings on the sand. He read it. It said 'SAHARA DESERT'. Olimar wondered what that meant, but he was interested on the planet he was on. He decided to study more about it, so he dismissed his Pikmin and got a pencil and a notebook out of his pocket. He sat down and made sure no Pikmin wandered off too far, and then started writing all the things he knew about this planet.

**meanwhile**

Louie ran around looking for the rubber ducky. He was too stupid to let the blacks smell his suit, as he was afraid that they would eat it and he would die. So, with his small army following him, he looked around for anything that moves. There was absolutely nothing moving. He stopped and listened, seeking for a sound of something moving. He got nothing.

"Hey guys, what is Blue Leader doing?"

"Well, Jared, maybe he is looking for something."

"OMG! Lauren M. just talked to me! AAH!"

"Shut up, I am playing a game!"

"Shut up yourself, Mary."

"SHUT UP EVERYONE!"

"God, Victor, you are being louder than anybody here, and you still say to shut up?"

"What?"

"I said, 'God, Victor, you are being louder than anybody here, and you still say to shut up?'. OK?"

"What?"

"Forget it, Lauren S.."

"Hey guys, let's change argument. This is not very nice."

"I don't know why, but what Asia just said makes sense..."

"OK..."

"Ha luk at blu ledr he is tlng us somting."

"He s-"

"What is Ted saying, Joshua?"

"I was about to say it, Jenny."

"Is that what he said?"

"No, Jim. He said, 'Hey, look at Blue Leader, he is telling us something.'. Right."

Louie dismissed his Pikmin and decided to look for the git alone, without the Pikmin following him, it would take too long for them to catch up. He looked everywhere, above the sand, below the sky, and I don't care if that is the same thing, he just looked everywhere for a stupid big old rubber ducky. He took a break after ten minutes and sat down, grabbed a candy bar and started chewing on it, and threw it away after chocking on it.

**meanwhile**

Olimar came up with this:

'Planet , year 3017

I find this planet very interesting, as it appears that there now is no dominant species on it.

Luckily, I recovered some bones and skulls of the last dominant organism to rule this planet.

The creatures must have been enormous, and their heads were very big.

It appears that the creatures are very similar to us, except for the fact that they are about 100 times taller.

The creatures became extinct for unknown reasons, but I came up with a hypothesis:

The creatures were contaminating their food sources with pollution, making them very toxic and deadly for anyone that was to eat it.

Other smaller creatures were also affected, and they evolved into more complex and aggressive plants and animals.

Plants grew and animals shrunk, and some organism became half of each, such as the Pikmin.

Pikmin are actually half carrots, and the other half depends on the color.

I'm hungry.'

**meanwhile**

Louie was still looking for the stupid duck, when he came across a... LAKE!

Louie: Pod, contact Olimar and tell him that I found water! HURRY UP!

Pod- God, no 'Please', just 'HURRY UP!'. Sexist...

Olimar got the message and grabbed his Pikmin. He whistled all the Pikmin Louie dismissed and ran next to Louie.

Olimar: Good job! Now... how will we know the way here the next days?

Louie: Who cares, I gotta drink!

Louie ran up to the water, and as he got closer, he discovered that the water is black. Louie still drank from it, and then he drank some more. Olimar got there.

Louie: It tastes SO GOOD! It's not water, it it more like the drink I drink at home, what was it called...

Olimar: The qwazznit-d-shizznit?

Louie: No, not the one on fire, the one that make your tongue pop...

Olimar: OOH, the guyramda's grandma poop!

Louie: YEAH!

A red Pikmin took a step and lowered his head and took a drink.

"YEAOWHH! THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY THAT I LOVE BEER!"

"OK, Dominic, that made no sense."

"Yeah, Luis is right. By the way, we already know you are drunk."

"Sabrina, correct. Still, I wonder what it tastes like..."

Olimar and Louie watched in disbelief as another red Pikmin drank the black liquid. Soon it joined the other red and started jumping around, screaming.

"YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!"

"Is it better than the Red Captain's fart?"

"YOU BETCHA!"

"OK, let's go."

All the Pikmin, including the blacks, purples, and whites, stepped forward and drank from the black pond. All of them started jumping and running around in circles. Many were screaming at the top of their small lungs.

Olimar: Probably the black substance makes Pikmin hyper, just like the red spray produced by the berries...

"DUDE! WE SHOULD NAME THIS STUFF!"

"HOW 'BOUT COCAINE (BTW, 'Winners don't do drugs', remember...)?"

"NAH, TOO... WHATEVER!"

"LET'S CALL IT COKE!"

"YEAH, IT IS STILL CLOSER TO COCAINE!"

"LET DOMINIC DECIDE!"

"YEAH! HE'S THE DRUNK MASTER!"

"WELL, I CALL IT... THE FUTGYKUNIS-D-BUBUDLAING!"

"SHUT UP AND LET DOMINIC DECIDE!"

"I DECIDE TO CALL IT 'THE COKE'!"

"THE COKE?"

"YEAH!"

Olimar was really frustrated that he could not understand what the Pikmin were discussing about, as it seemed very important.

"I'M MORE DRUNK!"

"NO, I AM!"

"I AM!"

"SHUT UP, YOU PIECE OF TRASH!"

"I AM STILL MORE DRUNK!"

Yep, very important.

"YOYOYO! I AM THE BLUE HALO CLOCK!"

"WTF, JIM?"

"STFU!"

"COOL EVERYBODYS LIKE ME"

"SHUT UP, STEVEN!"

Olimar: Well, now what?

Louie: Let's just sit down and observe the Pikmin in their unnatural behavior, Captain.

Olimar: Right, partner, I'll take notes.

Louie: Hey, how come I write 'Captain' with a capital 'C' and you don't write 'partner' with a capitalized 'p'?

Olimar: Because I am far smarter than you. Actually, I have researched and discovered that I am three billion times more intelligent than your brain. Oh, and I have talked to your uncle, he says that your brain is only two thirds the size of an average Hocotate brain.

Louie: Leave my brain out of this and I will keep your mama out of my jokes.

Olimar: Just shut up.

Louie: I like that song! 'Just shut up. Shut u-'

"I LOVE THIS STUFF!"

"WHAT?"

"SHUT UP!"

"DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!"

_Note from the author: Yep, I love the word 'Shut up'._

"YOYOYO!"

"BLABLABLA!"

"OREO COOKIES!"

"RANDOM RANDOM!"

"YUR MOM!"

"IS THERE A PROBLEM!"

"DARN, DO I LOVE THIS STUFF!"

"WAIAUM! WAIAUM! WAIAUM! WAIAUm! WAIAum! WAIaum! WAiaum! Waiaum! Waiaum..."

"Joe's siren went off. We're not drunk anymore!"

"Well, it was good while it lasted."

"There's more."

Olimar looked at the lake. Half of THE COKE was gone, and he saw the Pikmin take another step to drink more.

Olimar: I have to save this stuff!

He reached forward and filled a cup (I don't care where he got the cup, just read the stupid story) with the black water. He put a plastic lid on the cup and put it in his pocket. Yes, his pockets are THAT big.

Louie: This day is pointless and useless. We did absolutely nothing but watch the Pikmin get drunk with a few black stuff. REAL men do not get drunk that easily.

Olimar: Louie, Pikmin are not men.

Louie: Yes, I think I am smart enough to understand that.

"BAM! BAM!"

"HALO ROCKS!"

"METROID PRIME IS BETTER!"

"HALO!"

"METROID!"

"HALO 2!"

"METROID PRIME 2: ECHOES! SEE, HALO IS NOT ORIGINAL ENOUGH TO MAKE A BETTER TITLE! SEE, HALO 2 SUCKS!"

"METROID SUCKS!"

"METROID IS A CLASSIC!"

"HALO IS BETTER THAN THAT!"

"SHUT UP, JIM AND JARED!"

"OK...!"

The sky was getting darker and darker. Olimar and Louie gathered all the Pikmin to their side, and got to their onion about twenty minutes later, due to the Pikmin moving around to different areas because of THE COKE. Olimar and Louie put all of the Pikmin back into their onions, and then they went to bed. Yeah.

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

"Nice day, huh?"

"Yeah, the rain feels like metal."

"Metal IS rain, dumbass."

The reds were still drunk from THE COKE. Some were already asleep. Many became stupid, as their brain cells were destroyed by the black liquid. Poor Michael had to stay awake to pilot the ship... Let's go on a field trip! Walk up the stairs, into Dominic's room, the drunk one. Let's go in the thought bubble hovering above his head, and into his dream...

There he was, Dominic, a red Pikmin, smart... yet... drunk. He was doing jumping jacks. He was counting backwards. There was an ant on the floor, watching him and eating a piece of invisible bread and drinking from a cup twice the size of it, full of red milk. Yep, Dominic is THAT drunk.

_OK, this was a weird day... Sorry for not updating for so long, I had a long testing week... And yes, I read my reviews. One last thing... Don't do drugs... Do not read my story and then drink... Yeah... KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS STORY!**_

**END OF DAY 2 (NM)- YO, I'M THE BLUE HALO CLOCK (OR 'THE DRUNK DAY')**


	9. Day 3 NM Uh yeah

_Yes, I finally made a pretty long chapter! (NM) means (New Mission). Enjoy (...)!_

**DAY 3 (NM)- UH... YEAH**

INSIDE THE WHITE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

Everyone got up at the same time, as they were woken up by a loud _bang _on the other side of the ship, where the purples live.

"Hey, why are the purples-aaaaaaahh. Sorry. I was saying, why are the purples making all this noise?"

"I DONT KNOW MAYBE THEY ARE TORTURING SOMEONE"

"Why would the purples torture someone?"

"Right."

"Because-"

They were interrupted by the same sound as before. It definitely came from the purples' side of the ship.

"You are right! They are torturing someone!"

Now a scream could be heard. It was a purple's voice.

"Maybe they are killing someone!"

"LET'S PLAY CHESS!"

"Shut up."

"We should do something about this..."

"We should inform the leaders!"

"Right! But how do we do that? Red and Blue Leaders do not understand!"

"LETS BUILD SOMETHING"

"Yeah, great idea! We can make a device that will allow us to understand what the Leaders are saying all the time, and then we can communicate with them! Great idea! Let's get started!"

"Everybody look around for some materials to make this crazy device! Move it, people, move it!"

All 22 of the white Pikmin started to walk around the place, looking for some items that may help with the construction of the device that would make them able to understand and communicate with Olimar and Louie. After about ten minutes, all of the Pikmin gathered the items and made a big pile full of them. A white looked at the pile, shuffling the materials, trying to find something interesting.

"OK now, everybody grab the items they got back from the pile, and then stand in a wide place, away from each others."

The other whites grabbed all their stuff and did what was told. Then the white walked up to another.

"OK, whatcha got?"

"I got this paper rolled up on a cylinder-like brown item, this big pile of paper stapled together, this black box with a green cross on it that is shining, and finally this weird-looking black thing."

In order he grabbed toilet paper, a book, an XBox, and a pair of headphones.

"Good job. Now, what about you?"

"I HAVE THIS CIRCLE WITH A GREEN DUDE ON IT A SHINY TALL THING A SMALL RED THING AND A GOLDEN THING WITH LOTS OF TUBES IS THAT OK AM I GOOD"

He held up a Halo disc, a baseball trophy, a red crayon, and a trumpet.

"Good job, soldier."

After ten minutes of 'inspection', the following items were found:

Toilet Paper

Book

XBox

Headphones

Halo Disc

Baseball Trophy

Red Crayon

Trumpet

Clock

Clay

Digital Camera

Plastic Box

Pillow

Piece Of Skin (...)

TV Remote

Dictionary

Doll

Preserved Blood

Knife

Dried Leaf

Dead Fish

Human Skull

Prism

Batteries

Rubber Band

Pik Mac

Computer Chip

Map

Broken Laptop

Sniper Rifle

Lego

Banana

Straw

Used Glue Stick

Helmet

Football

Yeah.

"Good job, everyone! Now, let's put these together!"

"How?"

"Shut up and do it-"

He was interrupted by the sound of a whistle. Blue Leader was calling for 10 White Pikmin.

"Robert, Leonard, Jesse, David, Steven, Junior, John, Brian, Derek, and Vikram, you guys go."

"Why?"

"We are smarter."

"But-"

Louie called for 10 whites again.

"Fine."

OUTSIDE!

Louie whistled the ten whites and got them on their side. 20 blacks, 20 purples, and 50 reds were waiting behind Olimar. A total of 100 Pikmin now were on the field, the maximum.

Louie: Where are we again, Captain?

Olimar: On the place full of steel. Didn't I tell you already?

Louie: Yeah, but that was not one of the choices, was it?

Olimar: Nope, but I calculated the whole thing again, and I found out that I had made a mistake, and that there are three more places that I have not included as one of the choices last time. Wanna know them?

Louie: K.

Olimar: One is in a enormous house, one is on a tree, and one is on an area covered in steel, which is the one we are on right now.

Louie: Why are we on this one, and not the other ones?

Olimar: I have calculated that there is a very big chance of the rubber ducky to have fallen here.

Louie: Woah, big words... calculated... The biggest word I know is 'refrigerator'. Hyuck.

Olimar told Louie to follow him, and he did so. They looked around at the new area, and all they could see was steel and a couple of enemies.

Pod- Bryshjklvrooodmslncndk!

Louie: Say WHAT?

Pod- Bryshjklvrooodmslncndk.

Olimar: We can't understand you!

Pod- Gysnijhjjjijsbhhhgcsnxmmmmyohomiesgcygwle!

Louie: He does not get it.

Pod- #$#$&($

Louie: I am gonna tell on you.

Olimar walked away, and after a couple of seconds, Louie and his whites followed him. Both of them and the army moved close to an enemy, which seemed like a harmless beetle. There was another one farther away. It seemed no harm, so they started walking past it, when it suddenly released a jolt of electricity, connecting it to the other beetle. A couple of slow purple Pikmin were hit, and they were pulverized.

Olimar: AAAAHH!

Louie: Cool.

Olimar: 7 PURPLES JUST DIED!

Olimar ran away, with Louie and the 93 Pikmin following him. Then, when the beetles were out of sight, he slowed down to catch his breath. He turned around and saw the beetles slowly moving towards them, so he ran again. Louie felt very tired.

"Dude, why is the guy running?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe he is running because a dog is chasing him! HELP!"

"Shut up, Anthony."

"mab hes chAng smthng"

"He said, 'Maybe he is chasing something.'. Yeah, it could be that."

"You poor idiots, just turn around."

"Yeah! I beat a boss!"

"Stop playing with that GBA, Mary, it hurts your eyes..."

"Turn around."

"Wow, a beetle. Oh, I am scared."

"It's OK."

"I was being sarcastic, idiot."

"You friggin' pink carrots! Can't you understand? The stupid beetles killed 7 purples, and Red Leader is trying to find a gift to give to them, maybe a flower, in order to beg the beetles!"

"Why beg them?"

"Shut up, you 'tard fruit cake!"

"'Tard?"

"RETARD!"

"OK..."

Olimar turned around a corner and looked back. The beetles were finally understanding that they were not fast enough to keep up with them. Louie was slowly walking down a path, and Olimar decided to follow him. They turned left at one point and saw an amazing thing: The steel was not present here, and there was a small valley with some grass. Billions of enemies were sleeping, looking around for food, and going in the toilet do do their business.

Louie: Many enemies. I am hungry!

Louie ran up to and enormous creature and woke it up. It looked at Louie, surprised, and started running away. This creature ten times the size of Louie fell in the mud, where Louie body slammed it. He hit the big head of the creature and it collapsed, roaring in defeat. It died. Louie slowly walked to Olimar.

Louie: We could have that for lunch.

Olimar:...

Louie: Captain?

Olimar:...

Louie: Captain?

Olimar:... OH MY GOD! YOU JUST KILLED AN EMPEROR BULBLAX! I SPENT HOURS AND LOST DOZENS OF PIKMIN TO KILL THIS BEAST AND YOU JUST BODY SLAM IT!

Louie: Yeah, I've been working out. -rubs his belly-

Olimar:... Just make the reds carry it back to the onion...

Louie: Sure thing, Captain.

Olimar followed the reds to the onion and got 7 seeds from the ground.

"Tony!"

"Charles!"

"Bryce!"

"Victoria!"

"Daisy!"

"Kimberly!"

"Ian 2!"

**meanwhile, in the red onion**

Poor Victor was chatting with himself and playing some card games when suddenly, he heard a loud noise. He stood up and ran to the kitchen to find many red Pikmin sitting there.

"Where did you guys come from?"

"Hello! We are the Not Named Pikmin, or NN! There now are 33 of us, and we came from an Emperor Bulblax! An Emperor usually produces 40 seeds, and we are 33 of them! The other seven are out there with a name, and since there already were 100 Pikmin on the field, we came here! With no names!"

"Good, I was getting bored! Let's play PikCube!"

**back outside**

Olimar was still in shock when he came back to Louie. His eyes were wide open as if he had just seen the impossible and he was taking few large steps to walk.

Louie: Now where, Captain?

Olimar:... Into that cave right there...

Louie looked at the direction Olimar was pointing at and saw a big crack on the ground, obviously leading to another cave. He looked down and saw nothing but darkness.

Louie: It's dark in there...

Pod- Get in, time is money, and don't waste my money, you money-waster! Actually, it's not my money, it's the people-who-spent-the-money-to-make-me 's money... Just get in!

THE FOURTH CAVE- 'GET-ME-DOWN!' CAVE

Louie rubbed his poor fat butt. It was hurting from the fall. Well, he actually missed that fall, it had been a couple of days since he had a red butt last time. Anyways, he looked around to see... metal. The whole place was made out of metal. Yeah.

Olimar: Hey, look, Louie. There seem to be many enemies around. Pod, do your sensors indicate that there is an item made of rubber here?

Pod- Brtghajhdppppacfdareqwonskzpyoyoyoshssh...

Louie: Don't go there, girlfriend.

Olimar: It's probably the metal, it must interfere with the pod's sensors and make it unable to communicate with us. But I guess it can still understand us... Well, we'll have to look around and find out for ourselves if the rubber ducky is here.

Olimar, closely followed by Louie and the 100 Pikmin, advanced towards a group of Dwarf Red Bulborbs and easily killed them all. They left the carcasses there, attracting a Breadbug. Olimar pelted about 10 purples on it and it quickly died. He left the Breadbug there, too. Then, he walked on and on until he stopped at a large clearing. Louie looked to see that the area was swarming with billions of enemies.

"Waiaum, dude, look at that stupid place, full of stinking enemies!"

"Joe, don't be so rude."

"Yeah, listen to your bro, dude. I do that all the time."

"Shut up, YO DUDE."

"..."

"TIRED! We've been walking all day!"

"It's still 8:00 AM, James."

"Shut up, nerd Leo!"

"Don't tell him to shut up! I HATE THAT WORD!"

"Why are we doing this?"

"Why are you always asking questions?"

"Hey, you... WOAH, watch where you parkin' that thing, Tony."

"Don't make fun of me just because I'm fat, Anthony."

"Hey, want some gum?"

"I wouldn't-"

"Sure, shut up, Vikram. I guess not all boys are mean... Thanks, Brian, you are very- WAIAUM!"

"Don't copy me, duda. Only I, the almighty Joe, may say stuff like that, like, yeah."

"AAH! You zapped me! WITH A GUM STICK!"

"I tried to warn you, Christine..."

"Psycho Vikram..."

**meanwhile, in the white onion**

"No, that goes here."

The 11 whites that remained in the onion were still working on the device. This is what they had come up with so far: the headphones, which were connected to the broken laptop, were glued to the helmet. The Halo disc inside that XBox was powered with the batteries and the Xbox was plugged in to the broken laptop, too.

"OK, now, what else can we do, group?"

"Maybe we can revive this dead creature and force it to move around, and the black controller thingy can be used to transmit the speed waves emitted from the creature and so power-up the portable computer."

"Great idea, Billy, but that would take too much, and we don't know how to revive the organism. Any other ideas?"

"We can blow through this horn and convert the sound waves into light energy and letting it pass through the prism, directing the light in other directions, one powering up the portable computer."

"Nice, Jennifer II, but we don't know how to change the sound waves into light energy. More ideas? Anyone?"

"We could use this droplet of red liquid and let it flow on the dried leaf, and it would change color into a bright one, and then we can take a picture of it and see a preview on this small camera, and the light of the picture would be bright enough to thereby power-up the portable computer."

"Yes, Tim, great idea! Let's all try that!"

**back in the cave**

Olimar slowly approached an enemy he never saw before. If was flying and it sort of looked like a Swooping Snitchbug, except for the size of it. This one was larger, and it sorta looked like a blob of fat. Suddenly, its antennae got brighter and it swooped down and caught Olimar and flew up in the air again.

Olimar: Louie! Help!

Louie ran to him with a couple of of red Pikmin and started throwing them on the bug, but he missed.

Olimar: Quickly! I am getting dizzy! GET ME DOWN!

For Louie, it seemed like Olimar had said 'PRESSURE! PRESSURE!'. Louie started sweating and threw more Pikmin more wildly than ever. Finally, one of them got the bug down and Louie swarmed all the Pikmin at it, and while it was desperately trying to get back up, it died. Louie looked as he was expecting some words from Olimar, but nothing came.

Olimar: Look at what you did.

Louie slowly turned around and saw all the Pikmin he threw away getting eaten and chased away. Decorated Cannon Beetles crushed Pikmin with their mighty crap they shot out of their mouths; Hermit Crawmads ate Pikmin; Mitites scared Pikmin away and into Breadbugs' holes, never to be seen again; Doodlebugs farted poisonous gas out of their butts; Shearwigs quickly trapped the Pikmin in their mouths and got rid of them; Antenna Beetles controlled Pikmin and guided them onto Greater-Spotted Jellyfloats, which sucked them up and poisoned them; and Water Dumples devoured Pikmin as fast as possible. All this caused by a simple creature wearing a blue suit. Yes, Louie.

Olimar: 4 crushed, 2 eaten and 3 fell into Breadbugs' holes. 9 casualties of war (...) because of you.

Louie: But I-

Olimar: Leave the excuses to the Pod.

Louie: Fine.

Olimar: Let's clear the area, starting with... these Jellyfloats.

Two Jellyfloats, one Greater and the other Lesser-Spotted, slowly advanced to them. The Greater arrived first. Olimar and Louie backed off and waited for it to suck in nothing, and then both leaders started chucking Pikmin at it. It soon fell down, and while Louie was still pelting reds, Olimar switched to purples and stunned the Jellyfloat. It soon died, and right after that, the other one came, and it managed to suck in a single red Pikmin.

"AAH! GET ME DOWN!"

Olimar threw a single purple Pikmin at it, and after it got the Jellyfloat down, the reds joined in and killed the Lesser-Spotted Jellyfloat.

Olimar: Good job, partner.

Louie: Yes, Captain-in-law...

Next, the breadbug came and tried to get a pellet released from the Jellyfloats. A purple Pikmin easily grabbed it and brought it back to the Pod, killing it. Then it came back and joined the rest of the group.

"Yo, 'sup purple."

"'Sup, dude."

"Waiaum!"

"WTF?"

A red whispered to another red.

"Hey, Anthony, dare me to ask Asia out?"

"Sure, why not."

"Hi Asia."

"Hi Joseph II."

"Errr... Ahem, well..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I kinda, you know, yeah, like, yeah, errr..."

"I'm waiting."

Joseph II turned back to Anthony.

"Good thing I'm red, or else she would have noticed that my cheeks are getting red..."

He turned back to Asia, who was patiently waiting.

"Well?"

"Yeah, hi, yo, ahem... Nice day, huh?"

"Can't see the sun."

"Yeah, I know, I noticed..."

"Exactly what are you here for?"

"I-"

"Move it."

"It's-"

"I haven't got all day."

"Let me-"

"Well?"

"DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?"

Every single Pikmin turned in his direction and started at him. Well, the blacks have no eyes, so they listened but still turned.

"... Hi guys."

"Hi."

"This is awkward... Show's over, go away. Well, Asia?"

"Let me think... NO."

Joseph II turned to Anthony once again.

"Oh, well... One day someone will go out with me, anyways."

Olimar and Louie spent the next two hours (or 0 seconds, as time does not pass in caves) killing the enemies, luckily with no casualties. Then, they jumped in the hole and ventured in another sublevel.

LAST FLOOR!

Olimar: I guess this is the last floor, Louie. The rubber ducky COULD be here... Oh, and the place seems like it's without any steel... Pod, any rubber items here?

Pod- I can finally communicate with you. Because of the steel I could not, so... Yeah. Well, according to my INFALLIBLE sensors, I can tell you that yes, there is A LOT OF RUBBER here. Go fetch, idiots.

Olimar looked around. He was on a small circular area with one hallway leading to another circular area, but this one was MUCH larger. They got there. Then, suddenly, an enormous, fat, ugly creature fell from the sky. The impact its big feet made with the ground caused a rock slide to occur and block the two hallways. They had to defeat the creature.

Olimar: Look at it. Disgusting.

Louie looked at it and saw a big blob of black crap sustained by four fat legs. This is weird, but Louie actually saw a bit of her grandmother in the creature.

Louie: Looks like my grandma.

Pod- That is the rubber I was talking about! The creature is made out of it! KILL IT!

Olimar: OK, this looks like the Beady Long Legs I battled one day. Let's throw reds at its big fat orb. It should not be hard to miss this time, Louie...

Louie: I'll take that as a compliment.

Olimar: OK, now it is stomping around. Dodge its fat feet and throw Pikmin at its orb. When I say, 'CALL THEM BACK!', you call them back to you to prevent the spider from scattering them all over the place, making them an easy target. OK, come close to it... and throw them... NOW!

Louie and Olimar threw as many reds as possible, and aster the Raging Long Legs took enough damage to actually notice the reds on its fat thing people call 'belly', it prepared to scatter them.

Olimar: CALL THEM BACK!

Louie and Olimar did so and all the Pikmin came back to their side, safe. Olimar started to walk back to the RLL, but he stopped after he saw it stomping around twice as fast and with twice the force. Olimar decided to wait until it was done.

"Wow."

"Yeah, dude, big thing!"

"Tony, that thing is fatter than you!"

"Shut up, you pervert."

When it was done, about 12 stomps later, Olimar and Louie threw more Pikmin on the orb, and then successfully got them back. After the many quick stomps, Olimar and Louie repeated the process and the RLL died.

Olimar: That's it?

Louie: Bring it on!

The RLL's legs evaporated into the air and the orb fell to the ground, causing a small earthquake which made the rocks blocking the entrance disappear (...), revealing another hallway to another clearing. They walked on and they saw a big, circular rubber-like item resting on the floor.

Pod- Another enemy made of rubber... Oh joy...

Louie: I'm gonna go touch the item!

Olimar: Wait, did the Pod say 'enemy'? It did! Louie! That's a-

But it was too late, and Louie touched the round thing and... (suspense) nothing happened. So, this time, Louie kicked it and the round thing arose and a small, fat body supported by two minuscular legs. It was a PUFFSTOOL!

Olimar: I hate these! Swarm the body and let it fall to the ground, then throw Pikmin at its body, which will be upside down! Go!

Olimar and the confused Louie directed the army at the Puffstool and they got him down (or upside-down). Then, they threw Pikmin at its soft body and before it could die, it stood back up and released a poisonous spray that hit... no one, as Olimar got the Pikmin back in time. Olimar moved back towards the Puffstool, but it released another spray that Olimar did not expect. It him a couple of his Pikmin, and Olimar quickly got rid of the purple mushroom-things. Then, with the help of Louie, they finally killed it.

Olimar: Another 6 deaths, great... Look, an exit.

Pod- Well, it seems like there was no rubber ducky here. Jump into the geyser and ride the train into the light!

Louie: That sounded fruity.

Pod- Go, retard!

"OUT OF THE CAVE!"

**OUT OF THE CAVE- 12:00- DAY 3 (NM)**

_Yeah. To Tweedle Dumbass: yes, I know that this is planet Earth. The humans became extinct because a meteorite collided with the moon, and the rocks and all that stuff were absorbed by the Earth's atmosphere, and that's why humans became extinct. The remaining pieces of the moon and the enormous meteorite were trapped by the sun and started orbiting around it, and it formed another asteroid field. The asteroids were eventually sucked in by the sun, and it broke up in 3 pieces, thereby forming 3 stars. Yeah. KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS FANFIC!**_


	10. Cool List

This is not a chapter, this is a list of the Pikmin that ever lived. No, don't leave, it's important. Be sure to read everything in _italics._

_**WHITES**_

Robert: Always complaints

Billy: Believes anybody

Leonard: Always has to pee

Christopher: Only Pikmin with glasses

Jennifer II: Jennifer's 'replacement', normal

Matthew: Has a GameBoy Color

Jesse: Always hungry

Max: Likes to play chess

David: Warlike

Steven: Always writes in uppercase letters

Tim: Never gets scared

Karina: Hates when somebody tells her to shut up

Junior: Thinks that nothing is possible

John: Obsessed with bathrooms

Kate: Always says 'indeed'

Vikram: Psycho, predicts what others are going to say

Brian: Plays pranks on everyone

Alex: Likes clean, hates dirt

Jessica: Likes shiny stuff

Derek: Mean

Matthew: Has a GameBoy Color

_Total- 21_

_**REDS**_

Joe: Idiot, Bob's brother, really strong, gets serious when in battle

Bob: Nice, Joe's brother, really strong, gets frustrated very easily

Christine: Hates boys, Lauren's best friend

Leo: Nerd, reads books

James: Always tired

Mario: Obsessed with Mario, Luigi's best friend

Devon: Red Onion's cook

Joanna: Red Onion's cook

Luigi: Obsessed with Luigi, Mario's best friend

Lauren S.: Wants to make people feel better

Sabrina: Red Onion's architect, knows everything about all rooms

Luis: Thinks everything is a compliment, romantic

Michael: Red Onion's pilot

Joshua: Translator of Ted

Ted: Talks like a guy in a chat room

Jenny: Always asks questions

Katie: Immortal

Anthony: Wimp

Maria: Thinks she's popular but is not

Mary: Has a Gameboy Advance

Dennis: Has a GameBoy Advance SP

Henry: Has a Nintendo DS

Lafunduh II: Lafunduh's 'replacement', shy

OK... II: OK...'s 'replacement', can only say 'OK...'

Violet II: Violet's 'replacement', agrees with everyone

Joseph II: Joseph's 'replacement', wants to have a girlfriend

George II: George's 'replacement', normal

Stephanie II: Stephanie's 'replacement', normal

Jason II: Jason's 'replacement', normal

Ashley II: Ashley's 'replacement', hates everyone

Katherine II: Katherine's 'replacement', normal

Alexander II: Alexander's 'replacement', normal

Angelica II: Angelica's 'replacement', normal

Lauren M.: Most attractive girl red Pikmin

Jim: Obsesses with Halo

Asia: Smart, nice, second most attractive girl red Pikmin

Shane II: Shane's 'replacement', hates when people tells anyone to shut up

Jared: Obsessed with Metroid

Dominic: Drunk

Justin: Tells everyone to shut up

Felicia D.: Normal

Annette: Normal

Tony: VERY fat

Charles: Likes ice cream

NN#1: Normal

NN#2: Normal

NN#3: Normal

NN#4: Normal

NN#5: Normal

NN#6: Normal

NN#7: Normal

NN#8: Normal

NN#9: Normal

NN#10: Normal

NN#11: Normal

NN#12: Normal

NN#13: Normal

NN#14: Normal

NN#15: Normal

NN#16: Normal

NN#17: Normal

NN#18: Normal

NN#19: Normal

NN#20: Normal

NN#21: Normal

NN#22: Normal

NN#23: Normal

NN#24: Normal

NN#25: Normal

NN#26: Normal

NN#27: Normal

NN#28: Normal

NN#29: Normal

NN#30: Normal

NN#31: Normal

NN#32: Normal

NN#33: Normal

_Total- 75_

_**PURPLES**_

Nick: Normal

Nicholas: Normal

Holly: Normal

Felicia: Normal

Sarah: Normal

Johnathan: Normal

Alan: Normal

Eric: Normal

Evan: Normal

Laura: Normal

Zach: Normal

Zachary: Normal

Josh: Normal

Ed: Normal

Ricky: Normal

Marco: Normal

Cecilia: Normal

Carla: Normal

Vanessa II- Normal

Jessica: Normal

Polly: Normal

Ryan: Normal

Eugene: Normal

Sunny: Normal

_Total- 24_

_Now, I want to know which Pikmin that lived at this moment is your favorite. There is a list of all the Pikmin that can be used. Please **SEND YOUR TOP 10 ON A REVIEW. **The list should look like this:_

_--------------------_

_1. blablabla_

_2. blablabla_

_3. blablabla_

_4. blablabla_

_6. blablabla_

_7. blablabla_

_8. blablabla_

_9. blablabla_

_10. blablabla_

_--------------------_

_Here is the list (all the following Pikmin were reds at least once):_

Joe: Idiot, Bob's brother, really strong, gets serious when in battle

Bob: Nice, Joe's brother, really strong, gets frustrated very easily

Christine: Hates boys, Lauren's best friend

Leo: Nerd, reads books

James: Always tired

Mario: Obsessed with Mario, Luigi's best friend

Tim: Never gets scared- White

Devon: Red Onion's cook

Billy: Believes anybody- White

Joanna: Red Onion's cook

Luigi: Obsessed with Luigi, Mario's best friend

Karina: Hates when somebody tells her to shut up- White

Lauren: Wants to make people feel better, can't hear well

Sabrina: Red Onion's architect, knows everything about all rooms

Luis: Thinks everything is a compliment, romantic

Robert: Always complaints- White

Junior: Thinks that nothing is possible- White

Lafunduh: Shy- Rolled Over

William: Likes music- fell

Michael: Red Onion's pilot

John: Obsessed with bathrooms- White

Leonard: Always has to pee- White

Chris: Thinks he is cool- fell

Christopher: Only Pikmin with glasses- White

Joshua: Translator of Ted

OK...: Can only say 'OK...'- Rolled Over

Ed: Normal- Purple

Patrick: Always ends a conversation by saying 'whatever'- fell

Ted: Talks like a guy in a chat room

Kate: Always says 'indeed'- White

Shane: Hates when people tell anyone to shut up- eaten

Jenny: Always asks questions

Vikram: Psycho, predicts what others are going to say- White

Violet: Agrees with everyone- Rolled Over

Steven: Always writes in uppercase letters- White

Brian: Plays pranks on everyone- White

Alex: Likes clean, hates dirt- White

David: Warlike- White

Jason: Aggressive- Rolled Over

Jessica: Likes shiny stuff- White

Katie: Immortal

Jesse: Always hungry- White

Derek: Mean- White

Ashley: Hates everyone- Rolled Over

Anthony: Wimp

Maria: Thinks she's popular but is not

Max: Likes to play chess- White

Matthew: Has a GameBoy Color- White

Mary: Has a Gameboy Advance

Dennis: Has a GameBoy Advance SP

Henry: Has a Nintendo DS

Lafunduh II: Lafunduh's 'replacement', shy

OK... II: OK...'s 'replacement', can only say 'OK...'

Violet II: Violet's 'replacement', agrees with everyone

Jason II: Jason's 'replacement', aggressive

Ashley II: Ashley's 'replacement', hates everyone

Lauren M.: Most attractive red Pikmin

Jim: Obsessed with Halo

Asia: Smart, nice, second most attractive girl red Pikmin

Shane II: Shane's 'replacement', hates when people tells anyone to shut up

Jared: Obsessed with Metroid

Dominic: Drunk

Justin: Tells everyone to shut up

Tony: VERY fat

Charles: Likes ice cream

_That is the list. If you see any Pikmin that you want in the Top 10 THAT IS NOT NORMAL, please send a review. Also, **IF YOU WANT TO BE IN MY FANFIC AS A PIKMIN, **please do it like this:_

_--------------------_

_NAME_

_Color_

_Female/Male_

_Info (example: Joe- _Idiot, Bob's brother, really strong, gets serious when in battle) **I DO NOT WANT ANY OF THE 'SUPER POWERS' CRAP.**

_Enemy you want to sprout out of (example: Emperor Bulblax died, you sprouted)_

_--------------------_

_I'll try and do my best at including the enemy, if I can't I'll use an enemy that is closely related to it. Bye._


	11. Day 4 NM Zombies Attack

**DAY 3 (NM), 12:00 PM- ZOMBIES ATTACK**

****Olimar and Louie landed on the soft grass this time. They were on the small hill surrounded by steel.

Olimar: Well, at least the grass is softer...

Louie: OW!

Louie stood up and saw that he was sitting on a bug. He picked it up and brought it close to his face.

Louie: Bad bug! Next time, little one, I won't spare your life, OK? OK? Ooh, you're soo cute! Who's a good bug? Who's a good bug? YOU'RE A GOOD BUG! Good bug! Bye!

He gently threw the bug away. 'What a retarded bastard...', the bug thought, and it landed on the cold steel, broke its leg, and got eaten by a ferocious Killer Butterfly (don't ask). Olimar just ignored Louie's stupidity.

Olimar: OK, we now have a total of... Well, 7 purples died, 15 reds died... a total of 78 Pikmin, including 10 whites, 13 purples, 20 blacks, and 35 reds, are currently on the field.

Louie: Show-off...

Olimar: You stay here, I'm going to go grab-

Louie: A burger? Oh thanks, I want a Large Double Whopper with large fries, a large 100 fat Coke, tots, and oh, get some ketchup, mayo and mustard, a Deluxe Salad that has 100 Daily Value of saturated fat and cholesterol, ranch with it, some of those chicken things, large sized, a strawberry sundae, towels, napkins, straws, sun bed, razor, fork, knife, Nintendo DS, all to go. How much will it be? Do I pay at the first or second window? 'Cuz last time I got confused and I did not pay at all, and later the police caught me and sent me to jail, then I broke out and was wanted for the next five years, then I changed my name to Louie, stole a dude's passport and changed it, and then got a job, got fired, ate food, and got a job from a stupid fatty selling stuff throughout the galaxy. Hey, have you read that book, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the-

Olimar: LOUIE, SHUT UP! I WAS JUST GOING TO GRAB TWENTY-TWO RED PIKMIN!

Louie: Oh.

Olimar soon came back with 22 reds and after getting Louie's attention, got off the hill and on the hard steel.

Olimar: There were fire geysers back there, I wonder where they came from.

They walked forward until they tripped and fell down.

Olimar: Watch your step.

Louie: That was all you!

The two argued for five minutes (Olimar won) and then they resumed walking forward. They walked and walked, until suddenly the ground beneath them gave away. Olimar and Louie fell into the hole. The Pikmin stayed on the ground and didn't fall.

Olimar: Wow. A hole.

Louie: Stupid ground, stupid ground!

Louie started to punch and beat up the ground. Suddenly, some moans were heard.

Olimar: What was that?

Louie: I'm gonna get out!

The two leaders struggled and finally got out of the hole. Then they called the Pikmin to their side and watched down the hole.

"Hey, stupid Blue Leader, move! I can't see!"

"Same here! I mean, come on!"

"i nu dat blu ledrs hed was big, but i men, cmon"

"He said, 'I knew that Blued Leader's head was big, but I mean, come on.'. Yeah, right. It may be big but there is nothing in it."

"Move!"

"Yeah, move!"

"Hey guys, just come over here!"

"Over where?"

"SHUT UP!"

"SHUT UP YOURSELF, JUSTIN!"

"Quiet, there is something moving down there."

Olimar and Louie looked down the hole and saw the ground under the hole move in different places. Then, a small mushroom emerged from the ground. After that, more sprouted. The mushroom was on top of a creature that LOOKED like Pikmin, but was more similar to a zombie. The mushroom on its head was purple, and the rest of its body was a mixture of brown and gray. There were several cuts on its skin, enabling anybody to see some flesh and even some bones inside the 'Pikmin'. Four more of these sprouted.

"Oh..."

"Ooh..."

"Oooh..."

"Ooooh..."

"Oooooh..."

Louie: WHAT IS THAT?

Olimar: Looks like a Pikmin to me... Only zombie-like.

Louie: We shall call them the zombie Pikmin! Wait... where did they come from?

Olimar: It seems like when you started beating up the ground, you somehow revived the Pikmin. They look like Pikmin that were infected by the Puffstool's deadly spores. They were probably killed and buried. Wait, now we have 105 Pikmin on the field! Maybe zombie Pikmin break the rules... I wonder how we get more zombies...

Louie: Look, an insect made to look like a leaf.

Olimar turned to look at the direction Louie was pointing his fat finger at and saw a Skitter Leaf sitting there, resting. Olimar got the attention of the zombies and they crawled out of the hole (I make it sound so bad) and slowly moved next to Olimar. He moved near the Skitter Leaf and threw a zombie Pikmin at it. While it was in the air, it said "Aohhh...", and landed almost perfectly on the leaf, killing it. The zombie Pikmin started carrying the leaf back somewhere.

Olimar: Get the Pikmin next to you, we're going to follow this zombie and see where it is going.

Olimar and Louie followed the zombie. Olimar noticed a fire geyser in front of it and was about to call the Pikmin back, but it was too late. Olimar closed his eyes and tried not to listen to... nothing.

Louie: It's OK, Captain, you can open your eyes now. The zombie Pikmin was burned and still is, but it lives.

Olimar looked at the zombie Pikmin and was relieved to see it alive and still moving, but he was real uhmm... what's the word here... Pissed off? Yeah, well, he was real (insert word here) to see it on fire, with flames on its mushroom. Soon the flames disappeared and the mushroom's color changed from purple to red. Next, it walked into the electricity the Anode Beetles produced and now sparks were flying from it. His skin color went from gray-brown to black. Finally, he reached the ship's area and set the leaf on... the red light produced by the red onion. A new No Name was produced.

Olimar: Zombie Pikmin don't reproduce like black or red Pikmin... But on the bright side, I guess they can survive fire and electricity! That's good except for the fact that now the skin is burned. Its much darker.

Pod- Is eiejgvijrgkm there cjdivjidjk something wrong HD with iejfejfk dark oidoks skin, R?

Louie: Where now?

Olimar: I think we should-

Pod- Gthyuepgvdfalkmnetranduderttry.

Louie: Watch your mouth.

Pod- Gthyuepgvdfalkmnetranduderttry.

Olimar: Is it getting darker?

Pod- Guj.

Louie: Yes.

Olimar: OK, it's time to go back. The zombies will sleep in the ship, on the third floor.

Louie: Let's go!

INSIDE THE ZOMBIE'S THIRD FLOOR OF THE SHIP!

"Aaah..."

"Ooh..."

Two zombies were sleeping, while the other three were eating some strawberry pie they made.

"Ohhh..."

"Arghh..."

"Yo..."

"Ghooo..."

"Gha..."

_OK, this is boring... Let's see what the reds are doing._

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

"Yeah, go!"

"Beat him!"

"Noo!"

"Yes!"

The reds were watching a match of the weird sport played by the Bulbmin on TV. A couple were tired and went to sleep earlier, after eating some crackers. The rest was on two sofas and a couple of chairs, enjoying the game and drinking some Sprite.

"Get him down!"

"Foul!"

"That was foul!"

"Friggin' crazy referee!"

Devon and Joanna were in the kitchen, and watching TV while making some food.

"Hey, Devon and Joanna, is the popcorn ready?"

"Coming now!"

The two walked in the main room and set two large bowls full of popcorn in a table. A couple of Pikmin reached and grabbed some.

"Hey, Luis, who's the referee?"

"The ref is Dude IXX."

"That guy? He's the worst referee of all time! How could they let him referee on the quarter finals of the Golden League of the Eastern Hemisphere? All the best teams are there! Yellow Rockets, Old Pik Yankees, and Scared Warriors are just a few!"

"I know! The referee is a blind Water Dumple! He sucks!"

On the other sofa, labeled 'Betting Sofa', Luigi was betting with Lauren S..

"Hey, Luigi, I'll bet you anything!"

"Really? I think that-a Hobo Piks will win! I'll bet you my collection of-a my underpants!"

"No way. I want something more valuable. Like that 'Livestrong' silicone wristband you are wearing."

"Ooh, you went too far. OK, but only if YOU bet-a something cool, too-a."

"OK, how about... my game for PikCube, 'Luigi's Mansion'?"

"Yes! Win, Hobo Piks win..."

"Go Rolling Boulders!"

TV- And we are back from our short commercials! Kick-off from Bublbyn. Nice kick, the ball went right to the opponents... Here is Frickinorb. Back to Bulbido. Bulbido dribbles down the ball to ring 4, he is going... KICKS... Oooh, blocked by the Hobo's defender, Nimblub! STOLEN AGAIN! This time Frickinorb has the ball, kicks... Hell no. Air-ball. Nimblub gets the rebound, hits it to... Ooh, the ball hit the referee! Whistle!

"Yeah! They finally hit that stupid referee!"

"Go Hobos!"

"Boulders!"

TV- Dude IXX calls Nimblub to his side. A bit of chatting... OOH, Nimblub hits Dude IXX with his bat! Dude raises his hand... Only to get it hit by Nimblub again! Hits him again! He is real pissed off with the referee! He now seems to be swearing while still hitting the referee! Look at the blood! Now every player runs to the center and separate Nimblub form Dude! Nimblub is still swearing at the referee, who seems to be badly injured! Ladies and gentlemen, here is something we don't see every day! Hear the crowd. Listen to it, its screaming! Nimblub breaks free from his teammates' headlock and runs back to Dude IXX! OOH, a Boulder's player punches Nimblub on the face! Who is that... It's one of the worst player in the team, Bulmim! Nimblub is knocked out, he passed out! OK! COMMERCIALS!

Silence.

"What was that?"

"Stupid Nimblub!"

"I know!"

"Shut up, commercials are over."

TV- Welcome back. Well, during the commercials, we have discovered that the leaders of the Golden League have decided to eliminate both teams! Now, two other randomly chosen teams will play in the quarter finals. And those teams are... Pik Heats and Drunk VCRs! Two really good teams, both have won the World Series once. The Heats are rated 6th in the polls and the VCRs are rated 4th. Well, we'll see one heck of a match. Actually, Pik Sports TV will NOT show the game, as it is going to be played at 1:00 AM tomorrow, and we all know what we show at that time... Cheer-leading lessons! With coach-

Someone turned the TV off.

"Well, that was a sucky game."

Suddenly, all the Pikmin in the room started chatting with one other simultaneously and the whole room was noisy.

"Hey, everybody! Hey! HEEY!"

Everyone was quiet.

"At least now two very good teams will play."

"Yeah, but we won't be able to see it because of those stupid cheer-leading lessons."

"Hey, what are you calling stupid, dumbass?"

"You!"

"Your mom!"

"Your face!"

"HEY! SHUT UP!"

"Does that mean we made that popcorn for nothing?"

"I'm going to sleep!"

Every Pikmin quietly went back to their rooms and slept. Yeah.

**END OF DAY 4 (NM)- ZOMBIES ATTACK**

_Sorry for the VERY short chapter. I am very tired these days... And I have also been working on a new FanFic. Coming soon at theaters, on (insert date here)! Sorry for not being able to include you guys on the FanFic yet, it will come. I am too tired too keep writing... Some last few words... KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS FANFIC!**_


	12. Day 5 NM Ergo

**DAY 5 (NM)- ERGO!**

_Tnks 4 reviewing, every1! This chapter is not a real chapter but is still a chapter. You don't have to read it to understand the story. Oh, and this chapter is dedicated to those who LOVE sports out there!_

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

"YO BRO!"

Bob was woken up by his brother, Joe.

"What is it, Joe... I was still sleeping..."

"Yo 'sup! Gimme a top! Gimme five!"

Joe stood there, hand open, frozen in the air as if waiting for Bob to high-five with him. Bob just ignored him.

"Yo bro, fine. But the guys downstairs told me to wake everyone up! There is a friggin' game going on on TV! It's the stupid semifinals. Come down and take a look for yourself, bro. C'mon!"

Bob instantly opened his eyes. The semifinals! That means that his two favorite teams would play today! He stood up and brushed his teeth, washed his face, and grabbed Joe. He rushed downstairs as fast as possible.

"Yo bro! Yo! YO!"

Bob stopped and looked at Joe.

"What is it, Joe?"

"Yo, I have to wake the other dudes and dudas up. See ya downstairs. Save some of the breakfast crap for me."

"Yeah yeah, bye."

Bob let go of Joe's hand and rushed downstairs once again, turning left and dashing through a hallway. He finally reached the living room and found many others on the two enormous sofas, watching TV and slurping some THE COKE. They did not drink THAT much, though, as they knew that it would make them drunk and not focus on the game. Dominic didn't care.

"Hey guys! Anything happened yet?"

"No, Bob, nothing happened. Actually, the game just started five seconds ago."

"Thanks, Henry. ... What are you doing?"

"Playing some DS. Duh."

Bob sat down and stared at the TV. The semifinals! Pik Heats versus Min Giants!

TV- B.B.M. lost the ball from the Heats' defender, Minbulb! Minbulb passes it to Bilumin. Jukes out a Giants' mid, and another one! He is on fire today, ladies and gentlemen! Drives the ball through all players... He is unstoppable! He kicks it with the outside of his foot... BLOCKED BY YAO BULB-MIN! This is one heck of a game, we already see this much action the first minute if the game!

"Go Giants!"

"Heats rock!"

Luigi was betting, as always, once again with Lauren S..

"Lauren-a, I want-a that Luigi's Mansion game for-a PikCube!"

"What?"

"I said, Lauren-a, I want-a that Luigi's Mansion game for-a PikCube!"

"OK... And I still want that wristband!"

"Deal-a! GO HEATS!"

"GIANTS, CRUSH THEM!"

TV- The Giants got the ball. Yao Bulb-min hits it to Blindmin. Blindmin... look at those moves! Dribbling the ball past everyone, jumps, spikes it back to Yao, he is running... Oh! Stolen by the Heats' awesome defender, Minbulb! And- ooh, look at those pretty cheerleaders... Hmm... Aah... I'll give you an H...

TV (2)- Sir, sir?

TV- Yeah? Oh, yeah. Sorry people. Minbulb runs... runs... He's doing it all by himself! He's running! Juked Bluminb, Blooming, T-MAC Pik... Still dribbles it! It looks like Bilumin is not the only player on fire, guys! Ooh, the Heats' coach calls time-out!

"Boo!"

"Loser!"

"What's the whole point on calling time-out when your player is five feet from the ring and about to lay it in?"

"Yeah!"

TV- It seems like the Heats' coach is calling everyone next to him. Time-out time is over! The players go back to their original positions. And- go! Minbulb still has it, prepares to kick... OOH, look at that! Passes it back to Pike Buldan who passes it to Bilumin, meanwhile Minbulb runs up to him, gets the ball, fakes a kick, and now kicks... IT'S IN!

"OH MY GOD! GO MINBULB! HEATS! HEATS!"

"HEATS! HEATS!"

TV- This is sure to be one of the best games ever in the history of Bul-balling! A four-pointer by Minbulb! The score now is H4-G0. This is probably why the Heats' coach called a time-out. We haven't seen this kind of tactic actually work for... How many?

TV (2)- I'm pretty sure it's 66 days, sir, when on 35207 A.D. (PIKMIN DAYS, OK?) Bulsinsky made the shot. We all remember that game, and how he committed suicide afterwards.

TV- Enough details. The Pik Heats are leading by four points now, and a short time-out. Let's look at the stats of Minbulb, shall we?

Minbulb, defender, 33 days old, Pik Heats

7 inch 6

Total shots taken- 126

Total made- 102

Total blocks- 158

Total steals- 75

Total expulsions- 1

TV- Those are excellent stats, as these are the average.

Total shots made- 103.25

Total blocks- 64

Total steals- 15.715

Total expulsions- 4.5

"Dang, Minbulb is good!"

"Yeah, I know! I heard he was rated one of the top 25 players in tho whole world! He should be the #1 IMO..."

TV- And just for fun, obviously not because a red Pikmin in her onion stated that in her opinion Minbulb should be the #1 player in the whole world, let's look at the currently rated #1 player, Ronalbulb!

Ronalbulb, attacker, 25 days old, Min Bones

6 inch 8

Total shots taken- 18260

Total made- 17169

Total blocks- 135

Total steals- 264

Total expulsions- 14

TV- We can clearly see how much better Ronalbulb is compared to Minbulb, no offense. Judging by the number of times he was expelled from game, I'd say that he does not like referees. Hehe... Get it?... Does not like referees... I'm a funny guy...

TV (2)- U suck, dude.

TV- Time-out time is over! We see all 30 players, 15 from each team come back into the court and take their positions! In case you weren't watching this game earlier, here are the positions of all players:

**PIK HEATS**

Defense- name: Minbulb (jersey #: 2); Bilumin (5); Billmin (3); Minbull (6); Michael Jorbum (YO)

Midfield- Pike Buldan (8); Bumin (99); Billovic (7+1); Bullbmin (12); Nillminb (77); Bilmuns (101); Bulbmin LXVIX (19)

Offense- Billboardmin (9); Bullsmith (10); Blowmin (7)

**MIN GIANTS**

Defense- Bluminb (1); Blooming (16); Coolbmin (001); Bilbmun (2); Lumbnilb (3)

Mid- B.B.M. (0); Blindmin (12); Bulbshow-offmin (7); Bulbsmith (4); Bimblun (87); Minminlub (112)

Offense- Yao Bulb-MIN (9); T-MAC Pik (10); Weirdbmin (919); Bulbyoming (12)

TV- Here we are again! Screw that, time for commercials! Go cheerleaders...

"Hey, Devon and Joanna, is there some stuff to eat? Breakfast, maybe? Some popcorn would be nice, too."

Devon and Joanna were in the kitchen, which was right next to the living room. They could watch TV from there, too. They were working on some popcorn and also making breakfast.

"Yeah, sure. Wait... how many No Names are there?"

"34!"

"All right. Joanna, we have to make more food. I wonder when the leaders are going to call us out of the onion... They are late."

Joanna was doing many things at once. With one hand she was breaking some eggs. With the other she was opening a bag full of corn. With a foot she was cleaning up the mess after she made an egg fall, and with the second leg she was pushing some bread into the oven. Her eyes were wide open as if she was stressed out. She was.

"Devon, could you help a bit?"

"Wait, Joanna. I am making this pie. What should I write on it? 'Go Giants' or 'Go Heats'? Let's let the guys decide. Hey, everybody!"

"YEAH?"

"What should I write on the cake I am making?"

That's when everybody spoke out at once.

"Make it say 'Giants rock'!"

"No, 'Heats burn'!"

"'Heats suck'!"

"'Giants are midgets'!"

Devon was confused.

"I think I'll make two pies."

Back to the living room.

"OOH! GUYS!"

"And girls..."

"There's that hell-a cool commercial on! Shut up, everybody! SHUT UP!"

TV- Are you tired? Do you feel like you are under stress? THEN SHUT THE $!#(& TV OFF, YOU &! IT'S $!&( BAD FOR YOU! Buy 'TV-safe™'. It's a safe, complicate way to watch TV without stressing you out. It's a plastic sheet specifically designed to-

TV- We are back for more-

"u kild it"

"He said, 'You killed it.'."

"No shit Sherlock."

**meanwhile, somewhere no so far away...**

"Emperor, SIR!"

"Yes, #25."

"We have received news that the red, black, white, and purple Pikmin have been spotted on Forest Navel and Wet Desert, SIR!"

"Change our course to the Wet Desert. That is one dangerous area. Get back on you Blowhog."

"Yes SIR!"

And so, all the (-----------) changed direction and flew away, towards the Wet Desert.

**back in the red onion**

TV- Bullsmith gets the rebound. Dribbles a bit and kicks. Is it good, is it... Hell no. That'll be the day. The ball almost hit me. Lumbnilb grabs it, and swings his bat. What a beautiful pass to T-MAC! T-MAC wide open, kicks it... Minbulb blocks it! Where did he come from? We may never know, but we do know that that was pretty! The 7 inch 6 defender of the Heats blocked that! Minbulb is ON FIRE!

"Dude, like, shut up. OK? You like, said that 100 times already. LIKE TOTALLY!"

"Joe, shut up, you wanna-be wanna-be."

"?"

"You are a wanna-be of a wanna-be. You know, the people who think they are cool by saying words like 'totally', 'like', and other stuff that you just put in between of other words without needing those."

"..."

TV- Minbulb passes it back to Minbull. Minbull back to Minbulb. He starts running. He dribbles the ball through people, and... Stolen by Blindmin! Blindmin passes it way to the other side of the field, where the Giant's attackers are waiting. T-MAC gets the ball. It's 4 attackers against 4 defenders, as Minbulb is on the other side of the field. T-MAC to Yao. Yao runs, dribbles the ball through Bilumin, Jorbum, and passes it to Bulbyoming. Yo runs... AND KICKS... It's in! A two-pointer! The score is now H4-G2! What a fantastic game! Half-time is over. Commercials!

"YEAH! GIANTS ROCK!"

"Hey, the Heats are still winning."

"EVERYBODY COME IN THE DINING ROOM FOR BREAKFAST!"

Every single red Pikmin stood up and walked over to the table on the dining room. On the table were pellet-juices, chocolate-filled croissants, peanut butter and skitter jelly sandwiches, red berry-flavored skitter leaf, and much more. Everyone sat down and grabbed a bit of food. Then, James hit his spoon against his glass cup. Everybody stopped what they were doing and looked at James. He stood up.

"OK everybody, I'd like to dedicate this breakfast to the Pik Heats, who-"

"HEY! HEATS SUCK!"

"Yeah, and not only that, you can't dedicate a breakfast I AND DEVON made, after spending hours in the kitchen without anyone helping us but Christine. Uhuh."

"Joanna is right! And-"

"Shut up! James is right!"

"Yeah, Heats will win this game!"

"Heats suck! Giants will dominate the field!"

"Shut up!"

"FOOD FIGHT!"

Everyone grabbed their breakfast and started throwing it at each other. Plates flew across the room, hitting reds on their faces and large noses. Blood was everywhere. Some Pikmin grabbed a croissant, filled it with juice, and threw it across the room. The croissant weighted much more and caused more damage. Dominic was just dancing around, drunk.

"DIE!"

"DIE!"

Two reds simultaneously hit each other with a plate and both were knocked out. The food fight was one of the worst things that could ever happen in Pikmin history.

"HEY! THE GAME'S BACK ON!"

Everyone was back up and the knocked out people suddenly stood up and they all went back in the living room, where the enormous TV was resting. Devon and Joanna remained in the dining room.

"... So much for hours in the kitchen..."

"I'm not cleaning this up."

TV- And we are back for more Bul-balling! There seems to be no substitutions in either team. The Heats still use their 5-7-3 while the Giants have their 5-6-4. Pikmund, the referee, is now ready. He checks that all players are on the field. A short break... The whistle! Pikmund quickly gets out of the way as both teams rush in the center for the ball. Who is gonna get there first... It's Minminlub, who passes it back to Blooming. Blooming to Bluminb. Bluminb grabs the ball and waits until all of his team members take their positions. Bluminb to Coolbmin. Walks up a little, checks for a teammate, and swings the bat. The ball went right to Bimblun. Bimblun to Minminlub. Weirdbmin. Guarded by Jorbum. Back to B.B.M.. B.B.M. runs, dribbling the ball through Billmin, Jorbum, and even Bilumin! Jumps, fakes a kick, and passes it back to T-MAC, who, without even bouncing the ball, kicks it... AND IT'S IN! Yet another two-pointer by T-MAC Pik!

TV (2)- Yes, that was a beautiful tactic used by the Min Giants. Dribble, fake-shot, back to an attacker and 'No drop kick'. Beautiful. Even though I would have used the tactic 3-AB-164, in which the defenders kill-

TV- Yes, OK, we get it. Let's look at how good T-MAC Pik is!

T-MAC Pik, attacker, 12 days old, Min Giants

7 inch 2

Total shots taken- 29182

Total made- 20301

Total blocks- 291

Total steals- 21

Total expulsions- 112

"Hey, that's a lot of expulsions! GIANTS SUCK!"

"Dude, we are as good as the Heats. No wait, that would mean we stink. We are MUCH better than the stupid Heats. HEATS BOO! HEATS BOOOOOOO! GIANTS ROCK! GIANTS ROCK!"

"GIANTS ROCK! GIANTS ROCK!"

"Giants suck $$!"

"WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SWEARING IN THIS PIKMIN WORLD?"

TV- We are back. The score is now H4-G4, and there are only two minutes left. Both teams called for a time-out! Let's see what the Heats' coach is doing... It seems like he is telling the players what to do. Raises his hand, makes it go past the other, and other stuff. The Giants' coach... Can't see. Time-out time is over, and with two minutes left, we'll see one heck of a game! Ball at the center... The whistle! All 30 players rush for the ball... No, actually it's 29, as Blooming stayed there. Minminlub gets the ball again! He sure is quick! He quickly passes it back to Blooming. And... What's he doing? He is just standing there, grabbing the ball. As if he is waiting for someone to attack him...

TV (2)- Right. It seems like the Giants are about to use the strategy 1-AA-002, in which-

TV- Don't tell them, you'll ruin it. Finally... who's that... Bullsmith jogs near him. Bullsmith is guarding him, desperately trying to steal the ball. Blooming fakes a shot and Bullsmith dodges nothing. The ball is still being dribbled by Blooming. 1 minute left! Now all the Heats' players are pissed off! They are all running towards Blooming, leaving the Giants' players alone! Blooming is still dribbling it! Now all the players come are surrounding him. Blooming is smirking. He takes out his bat and swings it hard. The ball flies across the field and reaches T-MAC Pik! Now the Heats' players understand why Blooming was doing this! TWO-POINTER BY T-MAC! The score now is H4-G6! With less than a minute left, what can the Heats do?

"NOO!"

"Yes!"

Some reds were actually crying. Some were jumping around the room with joy. Others were just sitting there, still staring at the TV.

"Hey guys, there are still 23 seconds left..."

TV- Look at the Heats' players' angry faces! They are all red! They look like tomatoes! Yum, tomatoes... The referee checks his watch, checks if all players are on the field, and... GO! All the players rush in the center for the ball! Blooming grabs the ball and just stands there! He is losing time! A Heats' attacker runs into him and steals the ball! The referee whistles. Foul! 10 seconds left, ladies and gentlemen! Free-Kick by Blooming. Kick! The ball flies across the field, where a Heats' player grabs the ball and desperately runs on the other side of the field!

7... Billboardmin still runs!

6... Still running!

10... (TV 2) Sir, its 5. (TV) 5... Past Blindmin, B.B.M., and Bulbsmith!

4... Passes it to Blowmin!

3... Blowmin to Bilmuns!

2... KICKS IT!

1... The ball is still flying...

0! THE BALL WENT IN!

AMAZING! THE HEATS TIE! TWO-POINTER BY BILMUNS! THE CROWD IS GOING NUTS! THIS IS ONE HECK OF A GAME! Now, commercials! YEAH! HEATS TIE-

TV (3)- Buy Poop-Away™. It is a safe way to dump a big pile of shit without any people bugging you and trying to watch what's going on-

Half of the reds started screaming and jumping up and down. The other half was just mute. They were staring at the TV, as if the impossible had just happened. OMG lol.

"Now what happens?"

"I guess there are penalty kicks... DAMN! WE COULD HAVE WON!"

"Penalty kicks? But... Thats too rare to occur! It only happened once in the history of Bul-balling, 128 days ago, if I'm not wrong..."

"Until now! YEAH! HEATS WILL WIN! HEATS WILL WIN!"

"HEATS SUCK MORE $$!"

"shut up hetsll win nd kik ur but l da wa 2 piza hut"

"He said, 'Shut up! Heats will win and kick your butt all the way to pizza hut!' YEAH!"

TV- Back from commercials, Pikmin and Bulbmin and Bulborbs and Bulblaxes and Grub-Dogs and...

**3 hours later...**

TV- ... and finally Fiddle-Heads! Welcome back. Yes, indeed. Penalty kicks time! This has not happened since a very long time ago. So, this is how it works, straight out of the Bul-Balling encyclopedia (gawd i hate that word):

Each team must select players. These will kick and block. No player may kick and block more than once.

The ball is set 15 meters from the ring and the blocker is 5 meters away from the ring or 10 meters away from the ball.

The team who scored last starts kicking. Only one player at a time may kick.

The player must kick the ball in the ring. No fake-kicking or fake-runs.

The blocker must jump and deflect the ball away from the ring.

Each ring is 1 point. Each miss is 0 points. The first team to have three points more than the other team wins.

If all 7 players shot and blocked and no team has 3 points more than the other team, you have to... play rock-paper-scissors!

And those are the ruler! The 7 players from each team are... Billboardmin, Bullsmith, Blowmin, Bilmuns, Bullbmin, Minbulb, and Billmin for the Heats! Yao Bulb-MIN, T-MAC Pik, Weirdbmin, Bulbyoming, Minminlub, B.B.M., and Blooming for the Giants!

Here we go! The Heats start! Ball positioned on the white dot on the grass. Bullsmith and B.B.M. slowly approach the field. Both are in their positions. Bullsmith exhales. Starts running... and kicks! BLOCKED BY B.B.M.! So it's 0-0. ; P These smilies are cool! I rock-

TV (2)- Sir?

TV- Wha- oh. OK. Switch. B.B.M. kicks... IT'S IN! Score: 0-1, the Giants are winning. Now Minbulb and T-MAC Pik step up. Minbulb is sweating. Kicks it... BLOCKED! I can't believe it! Now T-MAC Pik runs. If he makes it, the Giants will win this game. KICKS IT... ITS IN! ITS IN! THE GIANTS WIN AND GET TO GO IN THE FINALS! What an awesome game. The finals will be played in 2 days! Comme-

"OMG OMG OMG."

"YES! GIVE ME THAT BRACELET!"

"I'm going to bed... Its getting late... Screw lunch and dinner, I'm just tired. And sad..."

Most of the Pikmin climbed up the stairs and into their rooms. The others were still watching TV. Some passed out. Eventually, all of them went to bed. Happy end.

**END OF DAY 5 (NM)- ERGO!**

_OK hi ppl. I REALLY hope you liked this chapter. Many of you didn't, I'm sure, but I still got something. Sorry for not updating for so long... and for not having any of you in the FanFic yet. I promise you'll all be Pikmin in a short time. SCHOOL'S ABOUT TO END! WHOO-HOO! KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS FANFIC!**_


	13. Day 6 NM Random Day

**DAY 6 (NM)- RANDOM DAY**

INSIDE THE PURPLE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

All the purples were watching TV. 10 were sitting down. 7 were eating.

"OK guys time to stop watching TV. We must focus our ideas on how to force the leaders to commit suicide."

"Why suicide? Can't we just kill them?"

"There are far too many whites and reds. If they would find out that we killed them, they'll kill us back."

"BUT WE'RE STRONGER!"

"Yes, but we are outnumbered by far."

"OK, ok. But I still think that-"

Ryan was interrupted by a sound on the whites' side of the ship. It was right next to the purples' side, but it was separated by two metallic 6-feet thick walls. All 17 purples sprinted at the walls and pressed their ears against it. OK, they don't have ears. Gawd. The purples heard the whites talking to themselves.

"No, that goes there."

"OK."

The purples silently whispered to each other.

"Hey, I think they're building something..."

"No shit Sherlock..."

Whites.

"It is almost over! Finally, with this beauty, we will be able to understand what the captains say and even talk back to them in their own language! Then they can tell us what they want us to do and we'll do it twice as fast!"

"But it's not done yet..."

"It will be soon. Maybe tomorrow!"

Purples.

"You hear that, guys?"

"No."

"Then what the heck were you listening for?"

"Listening what?"

"You idiot. The whites are building a device that will enable us to communicate with the leaders and understand what they say! If we steal that device when it will be done, we can..."

"What can we do?"

"I dunno."

"We have to think about what we could do with that device."

The purples heard a whistle from outside. Olimar was calling for 15 purples.

"OK, me and other 14 guys will go outside. The remaining two will need to learn more about the device the whites are making. And try to think of a way we can benefit from learning that. OK?"

"Yes sir."

The purples heard another whistle from Olimar. He was waiting. 15 purples ran to the exits. The remaining 2 were listening to the whites.

OUTSIDE!

The 15 purples were finally out of their onion and now next to Olimar. In the field were 15 purples, 25 blacks, and 60 reds, a total of 100 Pikmin.

Louie: Yo Captain, I thought we had already searched this area with the swimming pool.

Olimar: We wanted to explore the Perplexing Pool yesterday, but since SOMEONE jammed the doors of the ship, we couldn't get out.

Louie: Who's that someone?

Olimar: You, DUR... I mean, come on, how can a single overweight guy in a blue suit ACCIDENTALLY fall off the bed, land on a skateboard that carried him in the kitchen, slip on a banana peel, fly and hit the alarm switch, come back down crashing into the sink, make water fly into the sleeping Pod, thereby giving him another personality?

Pod- Yo peace up dawgs! Ready to rock da swimming town?

Olimar: I hate you, Louie.

Louie: Tell me something I don't know.

The Pikmin didn't understand a single word the two leaders said, so they were just looking at the new place.

"Look guys, water everywhere! And grass, too! This is nature-land!"

"Yeah right... Look at all that electricity everywhere... The artificial food coloring added in the water... And did the Wollywogs paint themselves in yellow paint? Because that's artificial too, you know..."

"Damn, you purples have issues..."

Olimar told Louie to follow him and the two leaders and the army marched forward. The first enemies they saw were a group of Male Sheargrubs. Olimar let Louie take care of them.

Olimar: OK Louie, grab a purple, aim carefully, and then fire!

Louie: Aim at what?

Olimar: The Male Sheargrubs, you dumbass!

Louie: Are those the black ones or the pink ones?

Olimar: Louie, can you count?

Louie: Yeah. Well, kinda. Sometimes it's hard for me to count my fingers...

Olimar: That's good enough. Actually it's not but who gives a shit. Count. How many BLACK MALE SHEARGRUBS are there? Then, when you're done with that, count HOW MANY-

Louie: Captain, wait a sec! Not so quickly! One... Two... Four! Four! Am I right?

Olimar: NO! COUNT AGAIN!

Louie: One... right?

Olimar: Yes...

Louie: Two...

Olimar: Yes... (I didn't take this job to give Louie math lessons)

Louie: Uhmm... F- Four?

Olimar: No, what comes before four?

Louie: IT'S TOO HARD! I CAN'T DO IT! I'M GONNA CRY!

Olimar: Oh. My. God. Fine, let me take care of the THREE Male Sheargrubs. And there are no PINK Sheargrubs, Male OR Female. Did you ever even go to school? And if you say no, I won't be impressed.

Louie: Well, I did, but I had this brain problem that my parents didn't tell me I had until I was 18 years old... I wasn't even smart enough to figure out that it wasn't that my friends were smart, no, it was me who was stupid. Then, after my parents told me that, they kicked me out of the house and all they gave me was about 75 Pokos... With all that money I fixed my brain and started a living as a policeman... But I caused three fatal car accidents my first day and they fired me. So now I had only about 5 Pokos, enough to get a small meal for two weeks... I was living in the streets, I had even made a couple of friends there... One day I was resting on the ground and I was looking at the stars, when all of a sudden I saw a spaceship. Then, I finally figured out what I was born for: to be an astronaut. I ran to the main building of Hocotate Freight and got a job. In a week I made 15 Pokos just by scrubbing the floor. Then I got a promotion and became the guy who makes the food for astronauts. I got 75 Pokos in a year! Then I got another promotion and finally became an astronaut! The end!

Olimar: You could just have said no, I would have accepted that... And all of these 'Louie's life' stories... are any of them even true?

Louie: Maybe...

Olimar: Well, so there's only black Sheargrubs.

Pod- Well homie, maybe R is not racist after all! He accepts that there's only black Sheargrubs!

The Pod watched as Olimar quickly killed the black Male Sheargrubs.

Pod- Never mind kid! He's as racist as eva!

Olimar: Louie, we shall make today another Pikmin day! You do remember what Pikmin days are, right?

Louie: I think so. Does it have to do anything with a calendar?

Olimar: You're hopeless. Pikmin days are days in which we try and raise each Pikmin color until there are many of the color. Today we shall make it a red Pikmin day. Once we get a total of about 100 red Pikmin, we'll raise the black population.

Pod- About time.

Olimar: Understand?

Louie: Ya.

Olimar told Louie to make three reds carry back the carcasses of the Sheargrubs. Louie did as told and followed the three reds to the onion, while Olimar killed another group of three Male Sheargrubs. Three more reds carried them to the onion. 6 No Names were produced.

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

Poor NN#33, the only one in the onion, was watching TV all by himself. Then, out of nowhere, 6 more reds appeared. These were the new No Names.

"Hey guys, let's play video-games!"

"Yeah!"

"MarioKart DD!"

"Super Smash Bros Melee!"

"Yeah. Let's do a tournament at Super Smash Bros Melee."

"OK."

"I'm Link!"

"I'm Link, too!"

"I'll be green Link!"

"I'll be pink!"

OUTSIDE!

Louie returned to Olimar. Together they took a few steps and then stopped in front of an unmade bridge. Olimar ordered all the Pikmin to start working on it. While they were working, Olimar listened closely to the sound of what sounded like giant footsteps.

Olimar: Louie, listen to that.

The footsteps got louder.

Louie: IT'S A T-REX!

Olimar got the attention of all the Pikmin and they all went to his side.

Olimar: It's worse than a T-Rex.

Louie: It's a bird! It's a plane! NO! IT'S SUPER- no wait, it's just a bird.

Olimar: LOUIE, WILL YOU SHUT UP? It's... It's...

Louie: ...

Olimar: IT'S A SPOTTY BULBEAR!

They both turned around and saw the Spotty Bulbear, closely followed by three Dwarf Bulbears. Olimar, Louie and the Pikmin ran until the Spotty Bulbear was a distance from them. It was running to them.

Olimar: OK Louie, get the purples.

Louie got the 15 purples next to him.

Louie: K.

Olimar: When the Bulbear gets here, you must quickly throw 10 purples on the bug one and 5 on the small ones. The purples should stun them all and then I swarm the reds and blacks at it. OK?

Louie: K.

The Spotty Bulbear got up to them. Louie started throwing purples at the Spotty one but it did not get stunned.

Olimar: Louie! Stun it!

The Spotty Bulbear opened his big-lipped mouth and devoured 5 reds. It opened its mouth again and ate 6 more reds. Olimar was in panic. He was sweating and running around, confused. He was giving off random orders to Pikmin.

Louie: Hey Captain, what's for dinner?

Olimar: LOUIE! Grab the purples and take care of the smaller ones! I'll kill this big one!

Louie calmly called all the purples to his side and slowly walked behind the Spotty Bulbear, where the smaller ones were standing at. He walked so slow, it seemed like he didn't even notice that a war was going on next to him. Olimar set the blacks aside and grabbed the reds and started throwing them at the Spotty Bulbear. He kept throwing them at it but it didn't affect the Bulbear. Its health was still full. Meanwhile, the 25 blacks who were just sitting there were chatting.

"Hey homies, check it out! It's a Spotty G-dog!"

"Hmm, I feel like... like... killing it."

"Hey, hey, hey man, I feel an urge to go there and kill it..."

"Yeah... kill it..."

Olimar was about to cry. The Spotty Bulbear had eaten 10 more reds. He was desperate for help. Suddenly, the 25 blacks behind him stood up and without anyone ordering them, they jumped into the Spotty Bulbear's big mouth.

Louie: What was THAT all about?

Olimar: Great. Now 25 more blacks are dead...

Pod- I KNEW IT! I JUST KNEW IT!

The Spotty Bulbear suddenly froze. Then, it literally exploded. The blacks were inside, still intact and all. All 25 of them were there, but unfortunately the dead reds weren't. The three Dwarf Bulbears were startled by what had just happened, and they started running away. The blacks started chasing them and in a few seconds the Dwarves were dead, too. The blacks carried the 3 carcasses back to their onion.

Olimar: Woah. It seems like the blacks have the ability to kill Bulbears without getting hurt. That should be useful.

Meanwhile, Louie plucked the new 12 black seeds the onion had ejected. Then, he found an eyeball on the ground.

Louie: Uhmm, Captain? This your eyeball?

Olimar went over to the eyeball and examined it.

Olimar: It seems like the eyeball belonged to the Spotty Bulbear. It probably flew away because of the explosion somehow caused by the black Pikmin. Maybe it it worth seeds. I'll make a red carry it back to its onion.

Olimar ordered a red to carry it back.

"Hell no man, I ain't goin no shit anywhere."

"You can go."

"Ladies first."

"You sexist son of a-"

"Joe, you go."

"Like, why me?"

"You're the stupidest and you deserve it."

"Like, no, OK? I don't deserve it. What have I done, you bad homie?"

Olimar whistled again but no one moved.

"And I ain't stupid. I can beat the crap out of you. TOTALLY!"

"OK, then you go, Justin."

"SHUT UP. Why me?"

"You tell everyone to shut up and everyone hates you."

"Shut up..."

"OK..."

"Hey! (hiccups) HEY!"

"What, Dominic?"

"I'll (hiccups) go!"

"(whispers) Hey, he's drunk! He doesn't know what he's doing!"

"Go, Dominic!"

"Go go go!"

Finally, a red stepped up and grabbed the eyeball. He started to slowly and weakly walk towards the red onion.

"Avoid walking drugs."

"Walking? You mean 'avoid TAKING drugs'..."

Dominic finally placed the eyeball under the light produced by the red onion and it gut sucked in by the eyeball. Dominic returned to the rest of the army as the onion thought about what it was going to eject.

Onion- Should I EJECT a single seed or should I BARF OUT a single seed?

Finally, the onion ejected a seed and Olimar plucked it out.

"Adam!"

Olimar: Well, we have 92 Pikmin in the field. We lost 21 reds and made 1. We made 12 blacks. Let's just keep exploring the area and make more reds and blacks.

Olimar walked to the red onion and got 8 more reds.

Olimar: Louie, take 7 purples, 15 blacks, and 28 reds. I'll take the rest. We'll split up and if you find an enemy, kill it and make a red carry it back to the onion. I'll do the same. OK, go.

The two split up and looked for enemies.

Olimar crossed the bridge they built earlier and walked in an area with 2 Swooping Snitchbugs, a Fiery Blowhog, and a Fiery Bulblax. Olimar looked around and decided to take out the nearest enemy, the Fiery Blowhog. He quickly killed it with the reds and 15 brought it back to their onion.

**meanwhile...**

Louie took the other direction, the one on the left. He quickly found three Skitter Leaves and defeated them. Three reds carried the leaves back to the red onion. As Louie started walking forward, the Pikmin started chatting again.

"What is that smell? Hmm... That fragrance... That aromatherapy... So... nice..."

"Yo homie, get ur nose off my flower."

"FINE."

"Hey guys, dare me to jump in the water?"

"Sure, Tony! With that thing you're carrying in your chest, you'll sink right away!"

"Don't make fun of me just because I'm fat. Cuz I'm not fat."

"... You just said you're fat and now you deny it."

"Hell yes I am."

"Well, Tony, jump in the water."

"OK!"

Louie turned around to take a look at his army and suddenly saw an overweight red run away and dive into the water.

Louie: WHAT THE HELL! You stupid red!

He quickly dismissed all the reds and jumped in the chilling cold water, trying to rescue the crazy fat red. He finally managed to grab him and throw him on the land, then he got off it himself. He calmed himself down and then took a look at the reds. Everyone was OK. Louie counted them just to make sure, and he counted 45 Pikmin. He thought about it. He was given 50 and he sent 3 to the onion. Two were missing. Louie panicked. If Olimar found out, he'd be dead. He started looking for the two Pikmin.

**meanwhile...**

Olimar moved on. He looked up and saw only one Swooping Snitchbug. He wondered where the other went, but he didn't care. He marched on and went near the Swooping Snitchbug and got its attention. It swooped down and managed to grab a red.

"AAH! Im afraid of heights! I'm afraid of bugs! I'm afraid of BIG bugs! I'm afraid of bugs bigger than me! I'm afraid of flying bugs! I'm afraid of bugs that swoop down and grab me! I'm afraid of-"

"WE GET IT, YOU WIMP!"

Olimar quickly aimed and threw a purple at the Swooping Snitchbug and brought it down and stunned it. Then Olimar swarmed all the Pikmin at it. He then ordered a couple of reds to bring it back to the onion. Olimar was almost out of Pikmin so he decided to go back to the red onion and then come back there with more Pikmin.

**meanwhile...**

Louie was still searching for the two Pikmin. Suddenly, he heard a _splash_ and he turned to see the water. There were two red Pikmin seeds plucked in the ground on the water. He looked up to see where they came from, and saw a Swooping Snitchbug. Louie quickly dismissed his army and went to pluck the two seeds and then returned to the army with the two Pikmin. He looked up and saw the Swooping Snitchbug with two other red Pikmin flying in the air.

Louie: This ain't goin nowhere...

Louie quickly threw a Pikmin at the Snitchbug but he missed. He threw another one but missed again. This last Pikmin fell in the water, so Louie left his army for a second and saved the purple that he threw in the water. Meanwhile, the Swooping Snitchbug (I'm gonna call it SS from now on) threw the two reds it was holding on the ground. Louie plucked them out and in the meantime the SS grabbed two more reds. Louie was outraged.

Louie: OH, COME ON!

He started to throw more Pikmin in the air, more madly and inaccurately. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, he heard an echoing voice in his head.

Voice in Louie's little head- Loooooouie... You must learn to focus...

Louie: OK, I'll try.

Voice in Louie's little head- No. There is no try. Do, or don't do. No try.

Louie: Yo homie, ya not Yoda or nuthin, K?

Voice in Louie's little head- You hurt my feelings!

The voice disappeared and Louie resumed throwing Pikmin in the air. Finally, one of them hit the SS and brought him down. Without thinking for another second (like the was hard for him), he swarmed his entire army at it. It was about to fly back up and Louie noticed that.

Louie: Oh hell no, you're not going anywhere until you're dead. Then the only place you'll go is TO HELL.

Louie's face went red and just as the SS broke free from the Pikmin attacking it, Louie jumped up and... (slow motion, add suspenseful music here) he grabbed the SS's antennae, then dived down and crashed into the ground, pulling the SS with him. He then started to beat up the SS, using just his fists while holding him down with his enormous weight. The SS already died but Louie didn't care, he kept on beating it up. Its eyes flew off, the body was flattened and its face was all red. Louie finally stopped (slow motion ends, music stops) and ordered a couple of reds to carry the worn-out carcass back to the onion. Louie slowly closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Then he exhaled and was calm. He stomped the ground at full force and left a footstep there. That meant that 'Louie, the almighty boxer was here'. No enemy would dare go close to it. Louie decided to go back to the onion, too. He found Olimar there plucking seeds.

"Bugg!"

"Roy II!"

"Elizabeth II!"

"Hannah II!"

"Kendrick II!"

"Victor II!"

"Alexis II!"

"Blair II!"

"Drake II!"

"Emily II!"

"Andrew II!"

"Eddie II!"

"Anette II!"

"Bryce II!"

"Victoria II!"

"Tyler V!"

"Daisy II!"

"Kimberly II!"

"Ian II!"

"Lance!"

"Matthew!"

"Mohammed!"

"Kaelyn!"

"Conner!"

Olimar: Congratulations, Louie, none of the Pikmin I gave you died. Did you have any problems?

Louie: There were no problems, Captain. It was all too easy. We encountered a few easy enemies and easily killed them.

Pod- Yo home dawgs, time to go to bed! It's like, getting hella dark man! CMON!

Olimar and Louie returned the Pikmin to their onions and then went in their ship and went on with their puny lives.

INSIDE THE BLACK ONION!

The Blacks were unusually sleepy and most of them went to bed. Only a couple remained awake.

"Yo bros, I'm sleepy..."

"Same here."

"Same."

"Same."

"So... should we drink something? Like some coffee?"

"Yeah, I'll make some."

"K."

A black stood up and went to the kitchen. There, he opened the fridge and looked (...) for something to drink other than coffee. He found nothing so he made some coffee. I don't know what that was all about.

"Yo, decaf or what?"

"Hell no man! Decaf won't help no shit!"

"K, just wondering man, be cool."

The black got the regular coffee and put some in the coffee-maker. He waited a couple of minutes and it was done. He got out four cups and filled them. He started walking back to the living room.

"Yo dawgs, I'm coming back."

The black walked back. Then, he tripped onto a wire on the ground and fell. The boiling coffee went all over him.

"HELP ME! AAH! IT HELLA BURNS- wait, I just got to be cool about this. Cool... it... burns..."

Steam was rising out of his body now.

"Yo bros... I spilled the coffee... Bros?"

He walked in and noticed that the three fell asleep. The lone black felt sleepy and hot so he fell asleep, too.

**END OF DAY 6 (NM)- RANDOM DAY**

_Soo... Yeah. Thanks for the reviews everyone. Oh and I made SOME of the Pikmin that people made... Bugg and Adam. There's more on the next chapters. Oh and Sonic-dude, I'm not sure if blue Pikmin will be in the FanFic, I'll try and make them, so yeah. You'll be the first blue, so you won't sprout out of your enemy. Hope you don't mind._

_GOD sorry for not updating for soo long! Do you guys know how hard everything is? Once I make a new Pikmin (ex. a red), I have to look for a name I haven't used, create it, add it in three more files (one for the currently living reds, one for all reds that ever lived, and the last for the total number of Pikmin) and then think of an unique ability/characteristic and if nothing comes to my mind, make it normal. My comp is getting slow with all this... KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS STORY!**_


	14. Day 7 NM Long Chapter Thing part I

**DAY 7 (NM)- PRETTY BLUE FLOWER, THE HELLA RANDOM STAR WARS STORY, THE TRAITOR, FORREST IS RUNNING, THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, TIPSY LAND, LONELY LAND, WOAH MANY SWEAR WORDS, THE SINGERS, AND CAN ANYONE THINK OF A LONGER TITLE FOR A STUPID CHAPTER?**

INSIDE THE WHITE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

The whites were building their machine, unaware that the purples were listening to every single word they were saying. They were almost done with their translator, and only a few more items were needed to complete it.

"Good job guys! We only need some more items to start up the machine. We somehow need the enough power to generate the machine into forcing it to breaking its unlocking mechanism thereby conducting power waves that are forced out of the red panel here, and that are sucked in by our mouths, and then act as a translator of the leader's voices, and since the voices are send out of their mouths and through the suit which blocks oxygen, we will be able to communicate with them because we breathe oxygen with poison!"

"OK GENIUS AND WHERE THE HECK DO WE GET THE POWER DUDE"

"Well, I don't know that..."

"OH WOW IM SURPRISED NOW"

"Anybody here got any ideas?"

Silence.

"I gotta go pee."

"You are dismissed."

Leonard started running to the bathroom.

"Just how can we-"

"Let's just force the bitches out there to talk like us. I mean, we have a sniper rifle, remember? And a knife, too! And a banana!"

"OK THATS JUST UNNECESSARY"

"David..."

"Wut?"

"He meant don't say that because it's not that nice."

"You psycho homie!"

"I mean, back to the subject, bathrooms-"

"How can bathrooms be in the subject, John?"

"We got two bathroom maniacs in here."

Leonard came back into the room.

"Anyone call me?"

"AS I WAS SAYING, bathrooms use a special mechanism to flush-"

"Oh my god, I think I know where this is going..."

"They flush by using this mechanical force that makes a tube filled with water break in two by simply pressing a switch-"

"You know, that really isn't helpful. We need something very complex and easy to manipulate at the same time. Something very good, something very, very..."

"You don't know."

"No."

"Kate, you haven't said anything this whole time. I'm worried."

"Indeed, Billy. Indeed-"

"Cut it homie."

"Indeed. I have an idea. What about solar power?"

Silence.

"GENIUS! Solar power! We just have to make some solar panels!"

"And how do we do that!"

"We use this prism to reflect it to a piece of paper with the preserved blood on it! The blood will change the light into power and ultraviolet. It will automatically eliminate the ultraviolet and deflect the power into the trophy which will strengthen the power and thereby power up the machine!"

"Yes!"

"Great idea."

"YOU KNOW GUYS SOMETIMES I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE I BELONG MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM NOT A NERD WHO-"

Silence again.

"OH WOW NOW IM JUST IN TROUBLE RIGHT"

All 21 whites heard Red Leader's whistle. Olimar was calling for 20 whites. NOW.

"All right, everyone go except for... Steven."

"Yeah!"

"Cool with me."

Everyone left, leaving Steven behind.

"OH SO THATS HOW IT IS HUH WELL I DONT CARE IM GONNA BEAT YOU ALL UP YOU SMALL MIDGETS COME BACK HERE AND LETS GO CMON LETS TAKE THIS INSIDE THE ONION"

"Boo."

"ARGGGGHHH"

OUTSIDE!

Olimar: OK Louie, we got 5 zombies, 20 whites, 15 purples, 25 blacks, and 40 reds. That should be enough.

Louie: 5+20 25 right?

Olimar: Good, you learn pretty quickly.

Louie: So it's 25+15 40 and 40+25 65 and 65+40 105? Captain, I thought that only 100 Pikmin are allowed to be out of their onion at once, according to this strange booklet I found on my desk...

Louie took the 'Pikmin 2 Instruction Booklet' out of his pockets.

Louie: Hey, it even says that I can get 12 FREE issues of Nintendo Power™ by subscribing to Nintendo Power™ and a choice of this Pikmin 2 hat or this Pikmin 2 Walkthrough! Let's call...

"And there I was, listening to this overweight dumbass talk in a language that us Pikmin find very prehistoric, and as I was standing there, I wondered, Could this fatty get any stupider than this?"

"Dude, Adam, shut up."

"And I asked myself, Why couldn't they greet me in a better way?"

"Whatever."

"Hey Bugg, why you got that name?"

"It's. Because. I. Am-"

"Yeah, good night here. You're hella slow homie. You just slow minded."

"Joe, shut up. He meant, are you just physically slow or are you slow-minded?"

"Leo nerd..."

"Don't call me a-"

"HEY EVERYONE, LOOK! I AM LEO AND I'M A NERD!"

"Shut up you-"

"Well. It's. Both. You. Wanna. Know. Why-"

"I can sleep here, this guy won't be done with a sentence yet. Friggin idiot. RETARD."

_Author's note: Sorry, Adam and Bugg, but you know, it's hard to be a Pikmin. Try to understand. OK I killed it._

Olimar: Um... Louie? I don't care about the 12 FREE (!) issues of NP, but-

Louie: What's Anpee?

Olimar: ... What?

Louie: You just said Anpee. Who is Anpee?

Olimar: I said NP, short for Nintendo Power™... You idiot... Well, why 105 Pikmin, you ask? It's because zombie Pikmin break the rules, remember? And since there are only 5 zombies, there are 105 Pikmin out. Happy?

Louie: $100 and I will.

Olimar: Smell that, Louie... It's the smell of-

Louie: That is really classic. You're gonna say, 'Smell that, Louie? It's the smell of YOUR ROTTEN BRAIN, you bastard!' I heard that about 100 times before in my life. Wasn't that what you were gonna say, Captain?

Olimar: No.

Louie: Well, I was close, wasn't I?

Olimar: No.

Louie: Yes.

Olimar: I was gonna say, 'Smell that, Louie... It's the smell of spring, here at the Perplexing Pool...'.

Louie: No.

Olimar decided to just ignore the fatty and divided all the Pikmin in 2 groups. Olimar called to his side 3 zombies, 10 whites, 8 purples, 13 blacks, and 20 reds. Louie grabbed the remaining 2 zombies, 10 whites, 7 purples, 12 blacks, and 20 reds.

Olimar: Let's split up and look for that rubber ducky of hell. If you find anything interesting tell the Pod to communicate me what you found. And by interesting I did not mean tele-tubbies.

Pod- 'EYYYY! MEMBER ME HOMIES? TELE-TUBBIES! TIPSY! WINKY-

Olimar: No.

Louie: Aw... EVERYBODY IN THIS BITCH GETTIN TIPSY!

Olimar: What was that all about?

Louie: Nuthin.

Olimar: Well, whatever. You go right and I go left. Don't get stupid or anything like that. Be careful. Don't do drugs. Smoking causes cancer. Avoid talking drugs.

Louie: I can smoke all I want, I'm gonna get cancer anyways.

Olimar: For all of you reading this, just ignore this overweight fag. Please. Don't smoke. It's bad for you. And Coca-Cola, too. It's full of cocaine. And anyways, I don't think fat-belly-cancer exists yet. YET.

Olimar did not wait for Louie to respond and decided to split up instantly. He walked to his left. First thing he saw was a large footprint on the ground. He wondered what that was, but didn't care.

"Hey, that's the footprint that ol' homie Blue Leader g-dawg left yesterday after killin' that fat flying blob-like air-suspended overweight homosexual bug-like freak!"

"Wow. That's all I can say and it is all I'm gonna say it again. WOW."

"Hey, you know, looking at that hella big footprint reminds me of how fat Blue Leader really is. You know, that guy almost makes me feel less fat... It makes me think that I'm skinny..."

"Yeah, that'll be the day, Tony."

Olimar walked on and swarmed all the Pikmin against the wall on his right, as there was water on the left. In front of them now were three Dwarf Bulbears. Olimar knew that these guys would notice them while they were still far away from them and that they would not stop following their prey, no matter where they go. He grabbed two purples and threw them on the ground nearby the enemies. The three Dwarves were stunned and Olimar quickly swarmed the army against the three. They quickly died and he ordered 9 blacks to carry back the carcasses to their onion.

"Ice cream... Need... Ice cream..."

"Halo... Need... Halo..."

"SILENCE! I need silence! What is with Pikmin who are obsessed with stuff? You crazy idiots! Like being obsessed with bathrooms wasn't enough! Now Halo, Metroid, ice cream, food, Mario, Luigi, too! IDIOTS!"

"OK, that was like, the totally worst like, speech like, ever. I am like, soo popular..."

"You wish, Maria."

"Bah. I hate you all."

"Ashley, god. What is it with you?"

"Run Forrest run."

"OK..."

"LET'S GET TIPSY! AOHAAAALAOAOHOAHAOHAOGHAAAAHAAAAOALOAAAAAAAAAGHABNJSNLCN! AAAAAAA TIPSEEYYYYY!"

"omg dud dat lik ws hla rndm dnt do dat eva agn lik wat dj0 drnk"

"OK, he said, 'Oh my god, dude, that like was hella random. Don't do that ever again. Like, what did you drink?' Seriously, Dominic, that really was random. God."

"lol yup"

"I think you guys know what that meant..."

"I DRANK THE COKE AGAIN!"

"OK..."

"Dude, shut up."

"What is it with us Pikmin? Am I the only one that thought that we shouldn't fight, that we-"

"SHUT UP MAN!"

Olimar moved on and saw two large square blocks in front of him. He tossed a Pikmin on one of the two blocks and the other one rose. Olimar understood everything (and in case you don't, go play Pikmin 2 again) and tossed every Pikmin on the ground above except for one. Then he went on a block himself, and threw the lone Pikmin on the other block. He'll have to remember to get it back at the end of the day. He went on the ground above and whistled all Pikmin (except for the one on the block) and moved on. The lonely Pikmin sang to himself.

"Lonely, I am so lonely, I got nobody, all of my ownnnnn OOOOOOOOWN. Too bad I can't rap or else I would right now... Damn... Being lonely is THIS sad... Why did Red Leader pick ME to stay here? I mean, every other Pikmin loves me, couldn't he pick someone who everyone hates, like Justin? Or someone with no brains, like Joe? Why me? Oh well. I'll just tell a story to myself. A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away..."

**meanwhile...**

Louie went to his right after arguing to himself for about an hour. He saw a group of Male Sheargrubs and decided to just go away without killing them to let them live. The Pod was really happy that he was not as racist as Olimar. He kept walking and on his right was a small lake.

Louie: And on your right, you can admire the beautiful lake as it is slowly tortured and killed by the poisonous crazy monsters that inhabit it on the deepest and darkest spots... Please enjoy. And remember, don't feed them. Keep the WILD in WILDLIFE. I'm not saying this for your safety, it's for the wildlife's and the nature's sanity and safety. We don't care if they might bite your hand off and you would be hurt, we care about the animal, now it can't get food on its own.

"God, WHY CAN'T WE UNDERSTAND HIM?"

"Who'd want to understand that piece of garbage? I bet he's saying stuff like, 'And on your right, you can admire the beautiful lake as it is slowly tortured and killed by the poisonous crazy monsters that inhabit it on the deepest and darkest spots... Please enjoy. And remember, don't feed them. Keep the WILD in WILDLIFE. I'm not saying this for your safety, it's for the wildlife's and the nature's sanity and safety. We don't care if they might bite your hand off and you would be hurt, we care about the animal, now it can't get food on its own.'. But what are the odds that he's actually saying what I just hypothesized? I mean, come on, the odds are like, 1 to 100.

"Indeed."

Louie kept on walking and saw a small puddle of water that separated the land he was on from the land on the other side. On the other side, he could see an unmade bridge. He somehow had to make the bridge from the other side, but if he threw the Pikmin on the other side, they might fall on the water and die, and Louie had enough of Olimar always bugging him and being soo desperate just because a PIkmin died. Then he had an idea. He dismissed all of the Pikmin in a safe area.

"What the-"

"Why is he dismissing us?"

"Is he crazy?"

"Now what is he doing?"

"I dunno."

"AAH! These Sheargrubs! They are eating us away!"

Louie didn't notice, but three Male Sheargrubs were eating Pikmin quickly. Five were gone. Finally Louie noticed and killed them with a nice body-slam. The whole entire planet shook.

Louie: Wow. 5 deaths.

Louie walked on the water and crossed the puddle. Now he was on the other side of the land. Far away he could see a large fat piece of trash with its butt on fire. Luckily it was asleep.

Louie: When that thing's gonna wake up, it's gonna have a bad surprise. I mean, if I would wake up and find my butt burning I'd be very surprised. Hehe... I'm funny...

The thing was still kinda far away so Louie had enough space to do what he wanted to do. He faced the unmade bridge and backed up slowly. The Pikmin on the other side were looking.

"What the heck is that fatty trying to do?"

"I don't know. Blue Leader seems unusually stupid today."

"And fat."

"Yes, that too."

When he thought he had backed up enough (he was hitting the wall), Louie started to concentrate. Then he started running at full speed (about 4 mph) at the bridge.

"They call THAT running?"

"Tony would."

Louie was still running/walking. Finally, he reached the unmade bridge and hit it with full power. They call THAT power alright. But Louie still didn't get what he wanted, as the bridge literally exploded.

Louie: DAMN! Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me? I just wanted to make the bridge to connect both sides, not make it explode! What do I do now?

Louie decided to just not tell Olimar about it and go back to the landing site. There he saw many idle Blacks. Louie thought they they had returned with a couple of enemies that Olimar assigned them to kill and 12 blacks were now in the black Onion. And OH WOW. That's just what happened.

Louie: OH WOW I'M SMART!

**meanwhile...**

The lone Pikmin who remained on the blocks was still telling the same story to himself.

"And then he met Soda. The green doll-sized curious Jedi master of all time. He had two large ears to hear better, two large teeth to eat better, and two large eyes to spy on people better. Then, out of nowhere, while they were chatting through AIM (AOL Instant Messenger), a Greater-Spotted Jellyfloat appeared. Soda got trapped inside. 'Grab the Laser-Sword-Thingy and kill this bitch, faggit!', he said. Puke did as told and grabbed the sword. He pressed the switch to make the laser appear but since he was holding it backwards, the laser went right through his body. Blood was everywhere. 'NOOOO', cried Puke, but it was too late. He died. Poor Soda, who was still trapped inside, was very ashamed of himself. 'OK, Root-Beer-Float, let me down now...' The Jellyfloat gently spit him back out and then Soda got food poisoning and died a month later. The Smith beat the Rebellion and all the Jedi died under the mighty might and the terrible fist of Lord Wader! The Smith Lord was really happy and threw a party. Unluckily, during the party, he was a DJ and while he was scratching the disks, he accidentally set off the electricity and killed everyone but Wader in the room. Wader got mad and grabbed the Smith Lord and threw him in a box. He closed it and wrote 'FRAGILE' on it and threw the box away in the thrash. Now Lord Wader could rule the Empire, but he also got food poisoning and died. To be continued..."

**meanwhile...**

INSIDE THE WHITE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

"OH WOW THEYRE NOT EVEN BACK YET"

Poor and dumb Steven was still alone in the white's side of the ship. Suddenly he heard this noise on the purple's side of the ship, which was right next to them. Then, the phone rang. Steven was afraid to answer.

"WHAT IF A VOICE COMES OUT AND SAYS 7 DAYS"

Then he thought, what the hell, and he answered it. It was a purple.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT DUMBASS"

"You're Steven, right?"

"YES DUMBASS"

"And you're alone."

"YES DUMBASS"

"We heard that you said that you didn't feel like you belonged in there, with all of those nerds around you."

"YES DUMBASS"

"Right?"

"DUH DUMBASS"

"You guys are building a machine to translate what the leaders say, right?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT DUMBASS"

"We overheard your conversation"

"OH DUMBASS"

"And we thought..."

"WHAT DUMBASS"

"Us purples want to steal that machine and use it for our own. And we thought... Do you want to join us purples and steal that machine when it will be done?"

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT DUMBASS"

"You said... You didn't belong with the whites."

"YES DUMBASS"

"We're different. We are not nerds."

"PROVE THAT DUMBASS"

"If I wanted to be really stupid then I could."

"I SAID PROVE IT DUMBASS"

"HOW ABOUT THIS NOW IM A TOTAL DUMBASS"

"OK I BELIEVE YOU"

"Good. So do you want to join us?"

"HMM OK DUMBASS"

"Great. What you have to do is wait for the whites to finish the machine."

"OK DUMBASS"

"Then you will steal it and hide it somewhere safe. Then we will tell you the rest."

"OK DUMBASS"

"Great."

"WAIT WHATS IN IT FOR ME DUMBASS"

"OK, what do you want?"

"I WANT I DONT KNOW DUMBASS"

"I can give you money, games, food, weapons..."

"WHAT KINDS OF WEAPONS DUMBASS"

"We got snipers. Lots of them."

"ALREADY FOUND ONE IN HERE DUMBASS"

"Well, we got machine guns..."

"MACHINE GUNS COOL WHAT DO THEY SHOOT DUMBASS"

"They shoot potatoes."

"SERIOUSLY DUMBASS"

"No, not seriously. They shoot tranquilizers."

"OH WOW MACHINE GUNS THAT SHOOT TRANQUILIZERS COOL ILL TAKE THOSE BUT HOW DUMBASS"

"Let's talk about that when you're done."

"NO NOW DUMBASS"

"Later."

"NOW I SAID DUMBASS"

"I SAID LATER, YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

"WOAH COME DOWN HOMIE NO NEED TO CUSS OK LATER DUMBASS"

"Yes."

"YES DUMBASS"

He hang up now. Steven was actually kinda happy. The traitor.

"MWUAHAHAHA cough ERHEM"

**meanwhile...**

OUTSIDE!

Olimar also went back to the landing site, and there he met Louie who was just standing there, doing nothing. Louie was literally becoming a round ball. He was becoming fatter and fatter every day. Olimar knew he had to do something. He thought of something but decided to tell him later.

Olimar: Louie, seen anything?

Louie: Umm... Well...

Olimar: Well?

Louie knew that he had to say something so he started to look around the place and see something that he could have told Olimar about. He saw the broken bridge, the footprint, an eyeball, a lone Pikmin, a yellow blob of fatness, a mag, an artificial food coloring box, and a blue flower. He decided to go with the flower.

Louie: I noticed that there was that blue flower over there.

He pointed to the flower.

Olimar quickly told Louie to follow him and he grabbed all the Pikmin with him. Together they went to the flower.

Olimar: A Blue Candypop Bud! Louie! GENIUS! WE CAN GET BLUES! Louie, I don't hate you after all!

Louie: Tell me something I don't know...

Pod- This is called 'Sequence Breaking', because we found a way to get blue Pikmin without even finding the onion! And since we did that, the game will be glitched up and when the blues will bring enemies back to their Onion, it will be sucked in by nothingness, and then the game will think that there is a blue Onion so it will instantly appear, and when later we will discover the actual blue Onion, it will instantly disappear and regenerate while the onion that was glitched up will still be there and it will sprout new as a blue paint thingy that eats my metal and grabs grass while stomping the air.

Louie: That was the most RANDOM thing I ever heard.

Olimar: Yes, all that could happen, unless we first find the blue Onion. And guess what, it's right in front of us.

That was true. Right in front of them was the large pool and in the middle of it was the blue Onion and five blues joyfully jumping around. I know its not the same area where you would normally get the blues in Pikmin 2, but I thought, what the heck, who cares. Olimar dismissed everyone and told Louie to follow him. Together they went up close to the five Blues and whistled. All five went next to them.

"Look, look, its Hell Leader! And a new Leader, let's call him Heaven Leader! Yes! Right, everyone? Right? Right? Ain't I right?"

"Shut up, Ken. Or I'm gonna annoy you to hell."

"Vivian, you are retarded! GAWSH!"

"Napoleon, shut up. Vote for me, Pedro!"

"Shut up, just shut up, shut up. Shut up, just shut up, shut up. Shut it up, just shut up, shut up."

"Oh wow, Mike, always with those flipping songs, GAWSH!"

"That was taken from 'Shut Up' by the Black Eyed Peas. I luv dat song."

"Vote for me!"

"Sweet..."

"I'm gonna annoy you! Am I annoying? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Ain't I annoying, mommy?"

"YOU GUYS ARE RETARDED!"

"I'm gonna cry. You guys are just so stupid."

"Time moves on, WIPE YOUR EYES, yesterday lies, tomorrow cries!"

"From 'Can't Repeat', by The Offspring. Crazy rock!"

Olimar: Louie, go back to the rest of the group and go to the landing site. Return all the blacks and the purples. I'm gonna make more blues. And make it quick, the day is about to end.

Louie: YES MA'AM!

**12:00 OF DAY 7 (NM)- PRETTY BLUE FLOWER, THE HELLA RANDOM STAR WARS STORY, THE TRAITOR, FORREST IS RUNNING, THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, TIPSY LAND, LONELY LAND, WOAH MANY SWEAR WORDS, THE SINGERS, AND CAN ANYONE THINK OF A LONGER TITLE FOR A STUPID CHAPTER?**


	15. Day 7 NM Long Chapter Thing part II

**DAY 7 (NM)- PRETTY BLUE FLOWER, THE HELLA RANDOM STAR WARS STORY, THE TRAITOR, FORREST IS RUNNING, THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, TIPSY LAND, LONELY LAND, WOAH MANY SWEAR WORDS, THE SINGERS, AND CAN ANYONE THINK OF A LONGER TITLE FOR A STUPID CHAPTER?**

Louie did as told and in the meantime Olimar killed a billion of Tadpoles and made more and more blues.

"Paris!"

"Britney!"

"Brittany!"

"Hilary!"

"J-Kwon!"

"Petey!"

"Akon!"

"Lindsay!"

"Bon!"

"Elvis!"

"Hayvel!"

****Louie came back with less Pikmin.

****Olimar: Great, 16 blues.

Louie: Were you being sarcastic?

Olimar: No, you FAT THING. You know, I thought of a way to get you to be skinnier and become what you used to be when you came here. And by using this method, you won't even have to move a finger.

Louie: You mean I won't have to work out or anything? YESS!

Olimar: This is my idea: no more food for you.

Louie: (blank)

Olimar: That means that only I can feed you whatever I want and any time I want.

Louie: (still blank)

Olimar: That means no more Caramelized Snitchbugs, Wollywog Pies, Liquified Fiery Blowhog Pudding, Roasted Watery Blowhog Flavored Ice Cream, Jellyfloat Flavored Root Beer Float...

Louie: (dies)

Olimar: ... Pellet Flavored Ice Cream with a topping of either Hot Hocotate or Jellyfloat Caramel, Purified Skitter Leaf's Crap, and everything else.

Louie: (still dead)

Olimar: From now on all you're gonna eat is healthy organic food, bread, and fat free milk. Twice a day. Breakfast is gonna be fat free milk and ONE cup of one-hundred percent daily value for all vitamins and an ass-load of calcium. No desserts whatsoever. Only ONE breakfast, ONE lunch, and ONE dinner. Once a day. And if you're gonna start getting mad, every day you will go to the ship's gym and TRAIN FOR 24 HOURS while I feed you. You gotta get that think off your chest, man.

Louie: (stands up)

Olimar: I checked the Guinness World Records of this year that my wife send me. You were on that thing. I remember now. 'Fattest man/thing to ever walk the Hocotate.' WOW.

Louie: (falls back down)

"Hey guys, Blue Leader is down. Let's carry him."

Four reds quickly grabbed Louie by his/its (according to the Guinness World Records) legs and arms and carried him back to the red onion, where the red light sucked him in.

Onion- Another fat guy. I hate my life.

The onion spit him back out and he landed on the soft sand. He stood up.

Louie: ...

Olimar: Well, day's about to end.

10...

9...

8...

7...

6...

Olimar: OH HOLY SHIT I FORGOT THE LONE RED ON THE BLOCK!

And he ran.

4...

3...

Almost there...

2...

"Run Forrest run."

1...

WHISTLE!

Olimar: Right on time.

INSIDE THE RED ONION!

"Everyone get DOWN IN DA HOOD!"

"Coming."

All of the reds were around the TV. THE FINAL WAS ON!

TV- THE FINAL! MIN GIANTS VERSUS THE NOSE-PIKMERS! Yes! The final is played in 2 minutes at the PikBulb stadium in San Pickisko! The crowd is roaring! We are all anxiously waiting for the stinkin' 2 minutes to finally pass by! I'm sweating! Hold up I'll be back soon.

TV (2)- He went to wipe off the sweat on his left armpit.

"Too much detail."

TV- Back! One minute to go... Meanwhile let's look at both team's stats and everything!

**MIN GIANTS**

Defense- Bluminb (1); Blooming (16); Coolbmin (001); Bilbmun (2); Lumbnilb (3); Blindmin (12)

Mid- B.B.M. (0); Bulbshow-offmin (7); Bulbsmith (4); Bimblun (87); Minminlub (112)

Offense- Yao Bulb-MIN (9); T-MAC Pik (10); Weirdbmin (919); Bulbyoming (12)

TV (2)- As we can see, the Min Giants are going with a 6-5-4, a strategy first used a long time ago, now became a classic. Tricks available for this strategy are all the A1s, and a couple of F7s. One or two H3s also. Blindmin strangely playing as a defender, I am pretty sure that it was never done before in the 42 days that he joined the team. Substitutions are only 2, Billbinmin and Hellmin. Let's look at the Noses.

**NOSE-PIKMERS**

Defense- Eyemin (1)

Mid- Eminim (4); Diamimbulb (5); Bulminb (6); Warbulbmin (1941); LollolMIN (101)

Offense- Minbulp (62); Pulpmun (23); Bulminb (99); Numbullu (77); Ghaamib (9); Craziebull (1092); Offtastum (15); Heymin (0); Bulbout (911)

TV (2)- All-out offense! The Noses use their weird 1-5-9 strategy. First made by the Noses' coach only 7 days ago, it is now one of the most efficient and complicate strategies in the whole story of Bull-balling. Eyemin is the only defender, who was awarded two times the Golden Hand, given to the best defender each season. He also won a Platinum Sheet, which is awarded once every 100 days to the best player during that period. Let's look at his stats!

Eyemin, defender, 63 days old, Nose-Pikmers

3 inch 1

Total shots taken- 102

Total made- 68

Total blocks- 109290

Total steals- 209991

Total expulsions- 1

He made it in the Guinness World Records a good 4 times! Most blocks and steals ever in a Bulbmin and less expulsions and shortest player ever! Well, midfielders are only 5, one of them won the Silver Bat once, nothing else. Nothing special with the offense.

TV- Well, game's about to start! And here come the players! On each side, Min Giants and Nose-Pikmers emerge! The crowd is going crazy! The lucky referee to direct this match is Refdood Da Ref!

"NOSE-PIKMERS! NO- NO- NOSE-PIKMERS!"

"SUCK!"

"GIANTS! GIANTS! WE LOVE YOU!"

Joe had his face painted orange and black, sign of the Min Giants. He was holding the Giants' flag. It was orange and black with a hand-written 'GIANTS ROCK MY FACE!' sign on it. He was a Giants maniac all right.

"GIANTS! GIANTS! IF YOU ARE A GIANTS FAN TYPE 666!"

"666"

"666"

"666"

"666"

"666"

"666"

"666"

"ENOUGH! THE NOSES ROCK MY NOSE!"

Jim had his red nose painted with blue and black, sign of the Noses. His chest had words written all over it, such as 'Noses rock my nose' and 'K1rby Was Here'. His face was decorated with drawn snakes, also a sign of the Noses.

"GO! NOSES NOSES ROCK MY NOSE! JOIN ME, NOSES FANS!"

About half of the Pikmin in the room joined him.

"Bah. I'm only going for the Giants because the Noses beat my team, the Heats. SO GO GO GO NOSES!"

TV- Here we go. 3... 2... 1... WHISTLE! And here starts the Final, everybody! All 30 players rush in the center of the field and try to grab the ball! Bulminb has it! Backs up and now waits for everyone to assume their positions. Walks up. Looks up. Hits it up. WAT UP?

TV (2)- Sir?

TV- OK, chill pill, chill pill. Way up there, Craziebull gets it! Dribbles past Blooming and Bluminb, and then jumps up, he's going to dunk it! He is going, but B.B.M. jumps right in front of him! He mid-air-passes it back to Pulpmun, who fakes a shot and dribbles past Blindmin! About to kick... OOH! Blindmin comes back and steals it from behind him! Takes out his bat and hits it to someone way up there, who is it... it's T-MAC!

"Diss!"

"Oh, nobody gets it stolen from someone like that!"

TV- T-MAC runs. It's 1 against 1, people. One of the world's best attackers against one of the world's best defenders! T-MAC against Eyemin! T-MAC slows down... fakes a shot but Eyemin is not surprised! T-MAC dribbles next to him. Jukes to the left and right! Eyemin is behind! T-MAC shoots... Eyemin comes back and steals it! Woah! What a game!

"OOH WHAT NOW?"

"Why do we have to comment on everything?"

TV- Eyemin runs to get the ball previously blocked by him. Dribbles... looks up and hits it far. Ball gets to the other team. Bulbsmith... Passes it to Coolbmin. Minminlub. Back to B.B.M.. Sees Yao open and hits it there. Yao to T-MAC. Guarded by Warbulbmin. T-MAC fakes a pass to the side and runs to the other, jukes Eminim, passes it on the side where Weirdbmin is wide open! Weirdbmin! Runs to the ring! Jumps! Kicks! IT'S IN! THE GIANTS SCORE! AND IT'S G2-N0!

"BOO!"

"Cheater!"

"SHUT UP! WEIRDBMIN ROCKS!"

TV (2)- Just what was Eminim doing? Weirdbmin was wide open on the right side, where he was supposed to be! Eyemin couldn't do anything this time, he was guarding the center. Nice tactic, good passing.

TV- Yes, yes, very good! Look at Weirdbmin! He's going crazy! He's running all over the place! He's screaming like a vacuum cleaner!

TV (2)- ...

Kirby- YAY FOR VACUUM CLEANERS!

"OK, that was hella random."

TV- Back to the game. Referee whistles! Everybody except for Eyemin run to the center for the ball! Diamimbulb gets it and passes it back to Eyemin! Eyemin waits as usual... But this time Bulbyoming runs up to him and forced Eyemin to pass it to Bulminb! Bulminb starts dribbling the ball. Pass is it to the other side to Minbulp. Easy play now, let's see what the coaches are doing.

TV (3)- Yes, the Noses' coach is starting to get annoyed by the look of its dark red face. He seems like he's telling the offense to spread out. Craziebull gets the right. What's he doing now? Oh, he walked over to his bench and told someone to stand up! Now the guy is stretching! We're probably soon gonna see a substitution! It seems like it's Dribblemin who's jogging, an attacker! The coach is probably gonna sub him in for Offtastum, who's not doing much. That's it from here.

TV- Great, let's see how the Giants' coach is doing.

TV (4)- The Giants' coach seems pretty confident with itself and is telling everyone to keep the game on the sides, not in the center. He also seems to be telling the players to play defensively. Not much else from here, back to you.

TV- Thank you, let's see how they're doing. Pulpmun to Craziebull. He runs up, dodges the slide attack from Bulbshow-offmin, and dribbles past Blindmin! Runs... And trips over Bulbsmith's foot! The referee calls it a foul! And Bulbsmith gets a yellow card, too! Free kick for the Noses. Ghaamib takes it.

TV (2)- Ghaamib is one of the world's best free-kickers, as once it was recorded that a shot from him made the ball go over 100 mph. The speed of his foot when he swings it once broke the sound barrier and made a whipping sound that made over 1000 people in the stadium deaf!

TV- Back to the game. Da Ref is counting the steps he takes away from the ball, 9 1/2 meters. The barrier gets on the line the referee signals them to be on. Look, whatever.

TV (2)- ?

TV- Ghaamib starts taking steps back. Da Ref whistles! Ghaamib runs... And kicks the ball which is flying at an incredible speed! IT'S IN! GHAAMIB SCORES! G2-N2!

"YEAH!"

"GHAA!"

"MIB!"

"YEAH! SHOW 'EM HOW IT'S DONE!"

"You suck!"

TV- The final's rules are clear! The first half is played in one day and the second half will be played in a week! NEXT WEEK! YEAH! YOU-

Off.

"Imm-a gonna go to sleep-a!"

"Me too, Luigi."

"Same!"

Night. LIGHTS OUT BABY! -.-

**END OF DAY 7 (NM)- PRETTY BLUE FLOWER, THE HELLA RANDOM STAR WARS STORY, THE TRAITOR, FORREST IS RUNNING, THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, TIPSY LAND, LONELY LAND, WOAH MANY SWEAR WORDS, THE SINGERS, AND CAN ANYONE THINK OF A LONGER TITLE FOR A STUPID CHAPTER?**

_Hey guys. I'm finally done with this long chapter... I had t break it in 2 else there would be this glitch, hope you guys don't mind. Thanks for the reviews. That's it. KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS FANFIC!**_


	16. Day 8 NM The Rubber Ducky Likes The Sand

**DAY 8 (NM)- THE RUBBER DUCKY LIKES THE SAND**

_Yup._

INSIDE THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE SHIP!

Olimar woke up because Louie was snoring hella loud today. Even louder than the other days. It was still 6 AM. He didn't know what to do. He tried going back to sleep but Louie's snoring was just too much.

Olimar: That snoring breaks the sound barrier!

He decided to make some breakfast, so he opened a door. Louie's snoring was now even louder. Wind was blowing in and out of his mouth. To avid being sucked in Louie's mouth, Olimar had to hold on to the doorknob. He got out of his room and finally into the living room/kitchen. He walked over to the kitchen and stood by the refrigerator.

Olimar: Now, time for a good breakfast!

He looked through the fridge. There was nothing except for empty milk cartons, empty beer bottles, and used cups. Sign that Louie was there. On top of the fridge was the freezer. Olimar opened it and looked in it. There was nothing except for ice. He closed the freezer. Louie again.

Olimar: The fridge and the freezer were full of stuff yesterday! Louie's diet starts today all right... Louie is not eating anything this morning. Wait until that fag wakes up and I'll...

Olimar went through cupboards. Nothing. He found a half-eaten cookie, though. It couldn't keep on going like this. Olimar woke the Pod up by pressing a switch next to the lights switch.

Pod- MORNING, R!

Olimar: Morning... Hey, I wanna go to that desert place today. Start going there but make as less noise as possible. And tell the red and the blue Onions to follow us.

Pod- 'EYY! SURE THING BABY!

Olimar: ...

He sat down and got some playing cards. He started counting them to check if there were all of them.

Olimar: 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26?

The 26th card was half bitten. The 27th card was also half bitten. There were no more. Louie.

Olimar: Louie eats cards? That's new...

He decided to watch some TV so he stood back up and walked over to the sofas. He looked for the remote but couldn't find it. He looked under the chairs, tables, and the sofa he was sitting on himself. He finally found it in between the pillows.

Olimar: At least he didn't eat the remote...

Olimar pressed the ON switch but the TV wouldn't work. He tried again but it was still off. He tried pressing all the other switches. Same thing. He turned the remote over and opened it. There were no batteries. The whole interior was full of saliva. LOUIE.

Olimar: Batteries, too? Wow.

So he stood up and manually turned the TV on. At least that worked. He walked back to the sofa and sat down. The channel was set on the Food Network. Olimar was bored of the stupid chef picking his nose and then putting olive oil on ice cream (actually, he was more disgusted than bored) so he changed channel. He forgot that the remote didn't work so he had to stand up and walk over to the TV and manually change channel. Finally he found something interesting and sat back down. On TV was a thriller. It was about to be the climax of the story. Then, the words 'POD IS SPEAKING' appeared on the screen.

Pod- We arrived at the sand place, homie! YAO!

Olimar: DAMN IT! It was getting to the good part!

When the screen went back to the movie, the words 'THE END' were stamped across it.

Olimar: Great, Pod fucker. The movie's over.

Pod- 'EYY! R'S GETTING RACIST HUH? YAO!

Suddenly the loud snoring sound ended. Next thing they heard was a loud 'BAM' and the whole ship shook.

Olimar: Louie got out of bed.

Louie's room's door slowly opened and through came Louie wearing his size XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXLLL boxers on and a white shirt almost 10 times the size of Olimar.

Louie: Hey, what's for breakfast? I'm starving... Oh, and I forgot to tell you that I took a small midnight snack.

Olimar: You call wiping out the fridge, freezer, a dozen of playing cards, 29 cupboards, and 2 batteries a SMALL snack?

Louie: Don't forget the legs of the chairs.

Olimar: Your diet starts NOW! Screw 'Don't have to move a finger'! Follow me!

Olimar started walking and opened a door. Louie actually made it through the door. WOW. Now they were in a gym. Olimar walked up to a machine that strengthened the ABS.

Louie: I never knew there was a torture room in the ship...

Olimar: It's a gym! Now sit down on that thing and start pulling the handles towards you while with your feet you pedal!

Louie sat down and started pedaling. He grabbed two handles that were hanging from above and pulled them towards his chest. He got tired in two minutes...

Louie: Dude, this thing's supposed to strengthen your ASS? It's hella hard! Can I get a Big Gulp™ 2 liter soda break?

Olimar: ABS...

Louie: It's hella hard! Can I get a Big Gulp™ 2 liter soda break?

Olimar: You're gonna get a water break once you lose 10 pounds!

Louie: SAY WHAT? 10 pounds in a day? Are you crazy?

Olimar: SHUT UP AND KEEP PEDALING AND PULLING THE SHIT TOWARDS YOU! Actually, I'll show you that I'm not trying to torture you. Look, there's the same machine you're on right next to you. I'll get on it and do the same thing you're doing. Watch.

Olimar went to the machine that was next to Louie and started pulling the handles towards him and pedaled. Olimar was going about 10 times quicker than Louie and could endure.

Olimar: See? I can do it, you can too!

Pod- NO HE CAN'T! HOME G-DAWG BOY-A! LISTEN TO DA POD HERE! Yo blue shit!

Louie listened to the Pod.

Pod- Do what I say and you'll lose pounds in no time! Don't eat!

Olimar: -.-

Louie ignored the Pod and kept on pedaling. He was starting to sweat even though he had been working out only for 7 minutes now. He was trying to get his mind off what he was doing. So he concentrated on food.

Olimar: Partner, want to listen to my iPod? I got some cool rap and alternatives in there.

Louie: Sure...

Olimar stood up and walked over to the door and grabbed his iPod, which was hanging on to a doorknob using the Lanyard. The iPod was in a purple sock.

Olimar: It's the U2 edition. I got earphones.

Louie: BUT I HATE EARPHONES...!

Olimar: No headphones will fit your big, empty head.

Olimar put the earphones on Louie's big ears and turned the iPod on.

Louie: Nananana... Lalala... Nana... Nice song, what is it?

Olimar: 'Get XXX'd', by J-Kwon, featuring Petey Pablo and Ebony Eyes.

Louie: What...?

Olimar: 'GET XXX'D', BY J-KWON, FEATURING PETEY PABLO AND EBONY EYES!

Louie: OK...

Louie was -trying- to sing along to the song but wasn't doing any good. He was bad. He sucked. He sucked so bad at singing. He was worse than me. He sucked hella bad. He was the worst singer in the whole entire universe.

Louie: 'Cause it can GET PRETTY extreeeeeeme in theee GHETttooooooo...

Olimar: Louie, SHUT UP, YOU SUCK!

An alarm clock started to beep but Olimar didn't care. That was the alarm to tell themselves that it was time to go outside and start the day. Olimar thought that it was more important for Louie to work out and get that fat piece of shitty fat out of his chest.

Pod- Time to go outside and start da day!

Olimar: Louie must first lose 10 pounds.

Louie: ...

Pod- DUDE, remember? You get to keep any money you make!

Olimar ignored the Pod and changed the song on the iPod.

Louie: Nannana, nananaNA! What is this? I know this guy!

Olimar: It's "Pimpin' All Over The World", by Ludacris, featuring Bobby V..

Louie: The world, the world... The world...

Olimar: Pretty cool song, huh? I love it. It's very funny.

Olimar checked the small screen on the machine Louie was working out on. He had been doing that for 15 minutes, has lost 687.2 calories, ran for 10.1 miles and was currently pedaling at a speed of 23 kilometers per hour. Olimar decided to go outside and start the day once Louie will have burned about 1000 calories minimum. Louie was sweating hella bad now.

Louie: Help!

Olimar: Shut up, you piece of obese trash.

Louie shut up and resumed pedaling and pulling the handles towards him. Olimar was just bored. There were no windows in the room and he wanted to see outside and look at the desert. So he stood up from the chair he was sitting on and walked towards the door. There were a couple of switches on the wall and he pressed a couple. Then he turned around and looked at Louie.

Olimar: I programmed the Pod so that if you try to get out of the machine or stop for even 1 second it will electrocute you. So you better not stop.

Louie: Waah.

Olimar opened the door and the moment he closed it behind him Louie screamed. Olimar sighted. Then he climbed some stairs and went in his SECRET room upstairs. He looked out the window. The desert was endless. Olimar wondered how in hell there could be a rubber ducky here. He got bored of the desert and decided to go back downstairs and check on Louie. So that's what he did. He opened the door and saw Louie. That is, the remains of Louie. His hair was burned up and all black. Sparks were flying everywhere around him while he was pedaling. His eyes were twitching and he was listening to his worst favorite dong, 'Boulevard Of Broken Dreams', by Pink Week.

Louie: This is the good life...

Olimar quickly turned off the electrocuting system and walked over to Louie. Luckily his suit was made of rubber and the electrocuting lasted just a little while. Olimar accidentally set it to 220 volts.

Olimar: Hehe...

He checked the screen on the machine and it said... 10,000 calories? While Louie was being shocked, his feet moved about 10 times quicker than before and must have pedaled and pulled a lot.

Olimar: OK Louie, you can stop now.

Louie slowly stopped and got out of the machine even slower. You could notice a big change in him. He was even trembling.

Olimar: Pod, scan him and tell us his stats. NOW.

Pod- 'EYY, NO NEED TO BE ANGREY! Scanning... His stats are:

Dimensions of the upper muscular system in body phase #1- 10

Dimensions of the lower absurd son of ABS #1- 12.611

Maximum and minimum upper and lower mustache's non-muscular perimeter (intercepting) refrigerator's added and combined anchored cookie mixed with a fragrance of the internal tissue bone system hyper boosted up by the electrocuting system (221.18 volts) 's circulatory external exoskeleton's stainless gaze's endless rightly wrist-pain's intoxicant ectomorph metamorphosis' lucid oxidized flavor inhaled with the help of boorish and harpy miasma's nucleotide infrastructure- 102.999

Louie: You make me feel dumb...

Olimar: English, please!

Pod- ... He's 3 inches tall and weights 201.11 pounds.

Olimar: Woah, we're making some progress here, huh? Yesterday you weighted about 400 pounds, and in one day you became 200! But remember what your goal was?

Louie: Um... 500 pounds?

Olimar: No, you still overweight empty-headed freak. 15 pounds! HEAR ME? 15 POUNDS IS THE AVERAGE WEIGHT FOR A 3 INCH DUDE! OK? UNDERSTAND? ARE WE CLEAR?

Louie: Yes... OOH I'm gonna tell the president on you for screaming at me! OOH! OOH! OOH!

Olimar: The president screams at you all the time, I'm sure he won't mind.

Louie: You're just scared that I'm gonna tell the president! You're just hiding your fear behind that crappy imitation of seriousness and self-esteem! OOH! YOU'RE DEAD NOW!

Louie stood up.

Louie: Pod dude!

Pod- Yay, home dog!

Louie: Hook me up with that fat president of mine!

Pod- Yeah, man! We cool dawgs! Dialing!

Olimar: I'm surrounded by idiots...

Pod- He's there!

President- Hello? Who the heck is it?

Louie: MR. PRESIDENT!

President- Aah, it's my least favorite worker, Louie! Hope it's going bad for you!

Louie: Thank you for the warm welcome. Well, I called you because-

President- MAKE IT QUICK! ALL RIGHT? OK? ARE WE CLEAR? DO YOU UNDERSTAND? HUH? ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! ANSWER ME I SAID! ARGHH!

Louie: I was saying-

President- DON'T YOU DARE TALK BACK TO ME! OH NO, YOU DON'T HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THIS! I TALKED TO YOU! ANSWER ME! NOW, I SAID! NOW! GHAA!

Louie: I called you because Captain Olimar here screamed in front of my beaten up face.

President- OOH... Poor guy... Your face go burn burn ow ow?

Louie: Yes...

President- It's OK, let me talk to Olimar in private. Louie, I'll promise I'll do something about it and he'll never da any bad things to you. Now if you please, get the fuck out of this room and let me talk to the Captain! GHAAA! MWUAHAHAHA!

Louie left, with his eyes wide open in horror and fear. Olimar closed the door.

President- Two things, Olimar, two things.

Olimar: What, sir?

President- First of all, it's getting pretty late. Why are you still on the ship? You know I desperately need that rubber ducky! I NEED my wife and my children back! Not because I miss them, because they got all of my money and it's tax season now, how the heck am I ever gonna get enough money to pay the damned taxes? So after this speech I want you out there looking for my rubber ducky.

Olimar: Yes sir! What was the other thing?

President- Second, good job for screaming at Louie. You are gonna get paid 120 Pokos a year instead of 100. Good job again. President OUT!

Olimar: Good bye and good luck with the taxes, sir! Thanks again!

The president hang up.

Olimar: What a nice guy...

Louie came back into the room.

Louie: I bet he screamed at you! Didn't he? Haha, the Captain is in trouble! Haha! You can't scream at my face again! Haha! LOSERR! HAHAHA! What now? OOH, diss!

Olimar: ... Let's go outside and look for that rubber shit.

Louie: MWUAHAHAHA! Yellow thing is pretty cute little rubber ducky, nana lalala sing with me, Olimar!

Olimar: OH. MY. GOD. STOP.

The two went outside, leaving the iPod and the Pod alone. The Pod floated over to the iPod and sat next to it. The Pod got closer.

Pod- So... You single?

OUTSIDE!

Olimar got out of the ship while Louie fell and landed on the burning sand.

Olimar: Let's just get 80 reds for today.

Louie: OK.

Louie started singing. Olimar couldn't take it. He called out 80 reds and then went over to Louie and slapped him HARD. Louie was still singing.

Louie: The rubber ducky of death, Olimar can't hear me he's deaf, OOH the rubbery ducky has left, GHAA! I'm singing! GHAA! MWUAHAHAHA! LOUIE'S MY NAME, THAT IS, BEFORE OLIMAR CAME! HE CHANGED MY NAME, I THOUGHT IT WAS A GAME! OOH, BLABLABLA, nana, lalala, haha...

Olimar slapped Louie.

Louie: You know about that couch that is for sale at Hell-Mart? It's only 10 Pokos now! Ever thought about buying it? And what about that piano that plays itself? That's just deaf!

Olimar kicked him.

Louie: I read in the newspaper that a car married a carrot...

Olimar: POD! GET OVER HERE!

The Pod hovered over to them. Olimar pointed at Louie and the Pod examined him.

Louie: My mom always told me that when the sky had drunk enough water then it would pee out rain and sometimes when it's really cold the pee turns white and very cold!

Pod- Yes, he became very random.

Olimar: Yes, I know that...

Louie: One day, I went in a pool and I was like, cold and then I like, choked on the water but like, the water wasn't cold. Then I like, saw this guy swimming and I was like, 'Do you like soup?'.

Pod- It's probably because of those 220 volts of electricity that went through his body. He has brain damage. Luckily it can be fixed.

Louie: If you add cheese and ham together you get a sandwich with salami in it!

Pod- Analyzing brain...

Louie: Louie Louie Louie, that's her name, she's hot and gooey! Oh no, she's not gay, but she likes to chew hay! YAY!

Pod- His brain thinks that he's a 78 year old woman that likes boloney and who lives on Tallon Overworld...

Louie: One day I like, met like, this really hot girl, and like, I asked her name, she was like, 'Samus' and I like, wanted to take a pic of her because she was like, very ugly and like, everything went black and then I was like, in the hospital...

Pod- I must take him in the ship. He can't work today. You do everything. I even think it's better that you just go, because I mean, you can't work with this retarded idiot.

Olimar: OK.

Louie: Hey, ever heard the one about the keys and the horse's beer in a milk carton that was left on the barn's roof inside that small town near that swimming pool place thingy? It's a good one! YAYAYA! I want cocoa puffs! With rum!

The Pod hovered at a quick speed and hit Louie on the head.

Louie: I want my choo-choo...

And he fell, knocked out. The Pod somehow dragged him in the ship. Olimar just didn't understand and decided to just ignore everything that had just happened. Just just just. Olimar noticed a lone blue with his group. Louie must have accidentally taken it out. Olimar decided to let him stay with the reds and then Olimar started searching around.

Olimar: Why would there be a rubber ducky in a friggin' desert? God, stupid Louie...

And he kept on searching.

"Hey guys, somehow I don't feel like I belong in this group."

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK, you're blue and we're red."

"Oh, so now you're getting racist, huh!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"UH-UH."

"NAH-AAH."

"You two shut up, dammit."

They shut up. Olimar didn't know where to look... The whole damned place was a desert. It was the biggest desert Olimar had ever seen. And the sand was big, too. It was bigger than the ones at Hocotate. Maybe it was small for the organisms that once lived on the planet, who knows. He kept walking until he stepped on a surface that was different than the sand he was walking on. Olimar reached down and discovered a map that was buried with a small layer of sand.

Olimar: It looks like it's a map. Maybe its the map of this place. It seems much more detailed than that half round thing that we found in the first cave. Who knows, we might need it.

Olimar grabbed the map and put it in his giant pockets. Then he resumed walking.

"Just what the heck are we doing in this damned hot place?"

"I dunno."

"SHUT UP!"

"?"

"That was kinda random."

"Well, my hypothesis indicates that we are here to actually scout around and find a yellow duck-like creature that doesn't have the ability to communicate or bring up enough metamorphosed power to move."

"Bless you."

Olimar couldn't take the heat. He felt like he could melt right now. He was losing his energy. He was about to collapse when he saw a lake. A black lake. He remembered it. It was...

"THE COKE! YAOOO! WE'RE COMING BABE!"

Don started running away from the group, disobeying the red leader. He was heading for the lake. Olimar knew that that was the Pikmin who first ever drank the black stuff. He also knew that...

Olimar: IF I DON'T RUN THERE THAT RED WILL DRAIN THE WHOLE LAKE!

Olimar started running, with his 80 other Pikmin following him. Don was already drinking from the lake. Olimar was running like crazy. His body was dehydrated but he had enough power to run. His tongue was out of his mouth and he was running like a dog. No offense to all the dogs who are reading this. Well, Olimar finally got there and started drinking like crazy. Finally the 80 others arrived. For absolutely no reason everybody started drinking, too.

"GHAA!"

The whole lake was drained. Olimar looked up and saw two small pearls on the dried-up lake. He knew what those were and he made 3 red Pikmin carry one, while a blue carried the other. EVERYBODY was drunk. Yes, even our Olimar. If you are reading this, let me tell you, don't do this at home.

Olimar: OH MY GOD!

While the Pikmin were bringing back the pearl and Olimar was following them, Olimar noticed... the rubber ducky. It was on the sand. Olimar quickly ran to it and the Pikmin followed him.

Olimar: SUCCESS! THE RUBBER DUCKY-

Then it started sinking in the sand. Olimar just watched while his eyeballs popped out of his eyes (...). The rubber ducky sank until it was not visible anymore.

Olimar: ...

It was the real thing. But it sank deep into the sand, to be seen again (...). Olimar was just shocked. His eyes were popping out as he had just seen the impossible. The reds and blue put the pearls under their Onions and a blue and 18 red seeds were ejected. Inside the red Onion, 32 No Names were made, and in the blue Onion, 49 NNs were made. Olimar plucked the blue seed first and then the 18 other red seeds.

"Elvis!"

"Jack!"

"Aufferstay!"

"Sonic!"

"Annette!"

"William II!"

"Chris II!"

"Tyler VI!"

"Jaime!"

"Sam!"

"Will!"

"Maxwell!"

"Chloe!"

"Ken!"

"Natasha!"

"Kelly!"

"Dude!"

"Boy!"

"Girl!"

It was getting late so Olimar 'retreated' into the ship after mistakingly running into the door.

INSIDE THE SHIP'S SECOND FLOOR!

Olimar was still drunk. He opened the door and saw Louie sitting on a lone chair in the middle of a dark, dark room. Louie noticed the door opened and turned and looked at Olimar.

Louie: You look like Hitler.

Pod- I gave too much of the medicine to cure him, now he's drunk. Hopefully it will last for a short time, maybe even one night, but after that he will be all right. R? R?

Olimar was walking like a drunk man while singing. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to Louie. They both started singing two different songs. The Pod was confused.

Pod- Um...

The Pod hovered over to them. Then he started singing, too, a different song. They sang all night until the iPod got tired of it and electrocuted all three of them with a 200 volts ice cream...

**END OF DAY 8 (NM)- THE RUBBER DUCKY LIKES THE SAND**

_HELLA random chapter, hope you liked it. And yes, that was the real rubber ducky that sank into the sand, it was not a mirage. But you'll find out more in the next chapter... Sharkking, I'm 100 sure that I will not include Brown Pikmin in my FanFic. Yes, I read THE ARMY and I think it's a great story, but I will just not use browns. If you want your Pikmin to come out as a different color, I can arrange that... MWUAHAHAHA! That's all! KirbyXtreme' is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS FANFIC!**_


	17. Day 9 NM I'm Funny

**DAY 9 (NM)- I'M FUNNY**

_Hey guys! I finally updated, sorry, but I was busy. Anyways, I got the next 10 chapters (including this one) all planned out. This chapter is pretty short though, so take your time..._

INSIDE THE SHIP'S SECOND FLOOR!

Louie woke up and found Olimar already up and doing something over at his desk. He didn't care about that and instead he went to his all-time favorite place: the KITCHEN. He felt better since yesterday, and that was a good thing for him, but not for the ones who hate him (everyone else). He opened the fridge and looked inside. Spiders and dead ants were littering the place. There was no food.

Louie: Oh, dammit...

He searched through the cupboards but still found nothing. Then he decided to go over to Olimar and ask him where it was.

Olimar: Yes, I have food, but I'm not gonna give it to you yet. Earn it, idiot.

Louie: Whatcha doing?

Olimar: Checking where the rubber ducky might be now, after sinking on the sand. Now go away, I need silence and concentration for this.

Louie: Sign up for yoga, man.

Louie went away and sat down on the sofa. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV after stealing the electric keyboard's batteries and switching them with the remote's. He was flippin though flippin' channels and flippin' watching them by flippin' opening his flippin' eyes. Nothing interesting though.

Olimar: So OK, this is where the darn thing sank. According to my calculations, the exact opposite is this inhabited house. There is an obvious 50 chance that it is located there, and the other 50 chance is the Navel Forest.

Pod- MORNING!

Olimar: SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!

Pod- Good morning to you, too.

Olimar: OK wait, there is actually a 49.99 chance that the rubber ducky is at the house, and a 50.01 chance that it might be somewhere in the Navel Forest. But that is insignificant.

Pod- I never actually got what percentages are.

Olimar: Not impressed.

Pod- I'm good at algebra, though.

Olimar: Very impressed.

Louie finished flipping though flippin'- OK I'm not gonna go over this again. He finished watching TV and went over to Olimar's desk. He sat down next to him and looked over Olimar's shoulder and at the paper with all the math on it.

Olimar: What you doing?

Louie: Watching-

Then the chair collapsed beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Louie: Oops.

Olimar: That was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma's chair that she got from her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpa! AND YOU BROKE IT! THE THING WAS ABOUT A TRILLION YEARS OLD AND YOU SMASHED IT WITH YOUR ABOVE AVERAGE WEIGHT! WHAT ARE YOU?

Louie: A desperate Hocotatian trying to gain some respect.

Olimar grabbed a leg of the chair and threw it on Louie's head. Then he kicked him out of the room and sat down to work again. Now Louie was thinking about what he would buy with all the money they made.

Louie: Let's see... A three-story, 2-acres wide mansion with over 100 bathrooms and kitchens... Yeah... A front-yard 1,000 feet wide, and a backyard twice the size of that... YESSS... A swimming pool, a movie theater, a concert hall... Bowling, B-Ball courts, Soccer fields... My own cooking show, my recipe books, and an artificial SEA in front of my mansion to get fresh fish! YES! I'll be filthy bloody rich and famous! Everybody's gonna know me as the most successful cook ever! I'm gonna own billions of restaurants all over the world! Pubs, snack bars, even hot dog stands! YEAH! Yo Pod homie, how much money we made since we here?

Pod- Umm... Over 2,000 Pokos.

Louie: YAHOO! I can get even more stuff with all that!

Pod- You'll have to share it with Olimar.

Louie: I'll body-slam him first!

Back in the soon-to-be-body-slammed Olimar's room...

Olimar: Gawsh. Back to my calculations... POD!

Pod- Yo dawg.

Olimar: Get us to the Navel Forest and land near this cave right here.

Olimar pointed at a spot on Navel Forest's map. The Pod seemed to understand and the ship started to make its way there with the three Onions following them. Olimar went back to his room and on the way he found Louie clipping off his toenails. Olimar reached under his bed and at a piece of cake that he hid from Louie. He ate it all and went back to the main room.

Olimar: We're going to the dark scary place.

Louie: But-

Olimar: No buts.

Louie: Ass-

Olimar: No asses either.

The ship landed and the two leaders put on their suits and walked for the door. Olimar got out while Louie tripped on his way there.

OUTSIDE!

Olimar: Partner, get out 10 whites and 15 purples. I'll get 35 reds, 20 blues, and 10 blacks.

The two got the Pikmin and Olimar started to look around. There was no cave in sight.

Olimar: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LAND NEAR THAT CAVE!

Pod- Well, it seemed like there was no way to land there because the ground wasn't flat enough. Big deal, walk a little, work out. You need to move those legs and get some exercise, man.

Olimar ignored the Pod and lead the army of 90 Mins towards the cave, which was still pretty far away. On the way there they met many enemies but Olimar just walked past them, without bothering to kill them.

Louie: Why you ignoring them enemies, Captain?

Olimar: I wanna get to that cave quickly.

Louie: NICEE...

The Pikmin were chatting amongst themselves.

"Hey guys, did you ever wonder why we're here, why we're doing what our leaders tell us to do, why we're obeying them, why we were born, how we were born, how-"

"No."

"The question here is, have you ever wondered what would happen if one of the leaders would sit on me?"

"You'd be flattened. DURR..."

"Aufferstay, what are the chances..."

"And it's not too bad either. I mean, Blue Leader sat on me once."

"That was before his belly went WHAM."

"Yes. But Red Leader farted on all of us once, remember?"

"Yeah."

"My name is the most common in the universe!"

"Shut up, Mohammed. Or I'll force Hilary to sing."

"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! HILARY SUCKS!"

Way in the back, a faint but angry voice was heard...

"I heard that!"

"NEED... CANDY..."

"Yo Petey dawg! Ya been working on those ----ing lyrics I taught you?"

"Yeah G!"

"Yeah! Ya better have 'em ready or I'm gonna beat your ass and kick ya out of my hood!"

"Yeah! Rock on J-Kwon!"

"BOOO."

"Hey Sonic, nice shoes. Where you buy them?"

"These are the shoes that Sonic The Hedgehog first used on his first adventure. That was the year 19XX if I remember right. And I do, I must. What a day, it will remain written in those pages for history. I bought these at the Sonic store in Sonic Land, which was first introduced in Sonic's one-thousand-three-hundred-forty-fifth adventure, 'Sonic And Pinocchio'. The game was released on the year 122XX, and the Hocotatian version was released three and a half months later-"

"OK OK!"

Olimar was still searching for the cave while starting at the map of the area. He went right, left, through bridges, past enemies, and all sorts of stuff. According to the map, they were getting closer and closer to it.

Olimar: I feel uncomfortable just at the thought that you, parter, are commanding so many Pikmin. We should split them up a bit better... I don't want anything to happen. OK?

Louie: OK that's it, this is sexual harassment. I'm tired of it. NO.

Olimar: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Louie: Yeah, sure, whatever you want, Captain...

Olimar split the Pikmin up evenly and gave 15 reds, 15 blues, 5 purples and 5 blacks to Louie. Olimar now had 20 reds, 5 blues, 10 whites, 10 purples, and 5 blacks.

Louie: This is unfair. What did I do to get only 40 out of 90 Pikmin?

Olimar: You broke that chair.

Louie: Which chair?

Olimar: My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma's chair that she got from her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpa's chair. Duh.

Louie: Oh, that... Hehe...

The Pikmin were still chatting.

"Hey guys, I don't feel very safe here... And you guys shouldn't, either. Our current leader is Heaven Leader..."

"You should feel safe if what you blues called him is 'Heaven'. Blue leader is basically a killer. We'll all die."

"This is sexual harassment."

The Pikmin behind Olimar were talking, too.

"OK, let's see... Out on the field are 7 red No Names, Joe, Bob, Sonic, Aufferstay, Jack, Tyler VI, Lance, Red Matthew, Mohammed, Kaelyn, Conner, Jaime, Will, Maxwell, Annette, Chloe, Ken, Natasha, Kelly, George II, Stephanie II, Jason II, Katherine II, Alexander II, Angelica II, Roy II, Elizabeth II, and Hannah II. Red leader is currently commanding the 7 NNs, Joe, Bob, Sonic, Aufferstay, Jack, Lance, Red Matthew, Mohammed, Kaelyn, Jaime, Will, Maxwell, and Annette. Blue leader has the others. That's it for reds. Blue NN #12, tell us about the Blues."

"Yeah, there are currently 20 Blues out, J-Kwon, Petey, and all the other 18 are NNs. Hell leader has J-Kwon, Petey, and 3 other NNs. Heaven leader has the rest. Whites?"

"10 out, Robert, Leonard, Jesse, David, Junior, John, Brian, Derek, Vikram, and Max. All behind Red leader, I'm out. Purples?"

"We got 15, Red leader has Eric, Evan, Laura, Zach, Zachary, Josh, Ed, Ricky, Marco, and Cecilia. Blue leader's got Carla, Vanessa II, Jessica, Polly, and Ryan. Blacks?"

"Dudes have five each. We got no names so yeah. Done."

Silence.

"What was THAT all about?"

"I dunno..."

Olimar looked around and then at the map. There was supposed to be a cave in front of them. And there was.

Olimar: Pod, analyze this shit.

Pod- This shit is full of weird gases inside of it. Luckily none of these gases can or will harm you in any way. The cave only has 4 sublevels, but each one is very big... And my sensors indicate that it's full of treasures. Especially the last sublevel... Well, go in it, there is a big chance that there's the rubber ducky, so move it move it!

The Pod used the traditional 'push' and Olimar and Louie, followed by the army, fell down and into the cave. The Pod slowly hovered inside of it. Da da DUMM!

THE FIFTH CAVE- GAS CAVE

Everyone landed on the hard ground. Olimar and Louie stood up and then got a strange feeling. Then they started laughing for no reason whatsoever.

Olimar: HAHAHA! GHAA! MWUAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!

Louie: HAHAHA!

Pod- Are you two OK?

Olimar: HAHAHA! I- HAHAHA! I DON'T KNOW WHY- WH- HAHAHA! WHY I'M HAHA LAUGHING! HAHAHA!

Louie: HAHAHA! CAP- CAPTAIN! HAHAHA! ARE YOU OK- HAHAHA! ARE YOU OK!

Pod- Hmm... I analyzed the air and discovered that there's lots of laughing gas in it. You two are affected by it. I and the Pikmin are not. So anyways, look for that thing. Come on, stop laughing.

Olimar: HAHAHA! OK- OK LOUIE! LET'S GO LOOK FOR THAT- HAHAHA! THAT -MWUAHAHAHA! THAT RUBBER THINGY! HAHAHA! HAHA! MAKE IT STOP, PL- PLEASE! HAHAHA!

Olimar and Louie started walking while still laughing. The Pikmin behind them looked scared.

"Umm... Why are these fruits laughing? They are scaring me."

"They might sit on me, that's why I'm scared!"

"Shut up, you."

"Me."

"Yes, you."

The two leaders were going both in a different direction. Olimar turned to Louie while laughing his butt off.

Olimar: WHERE- WHERE YOU- HAHAHA! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HAHA!

Louie: I'M GOING- HAHA! I'M GONNA TAKE A PISS! HAHAHA!

Olimar: HAHAHA! THAT'S- THAT'S NOT FUNNY! HAHAHA!

Louie: THEN WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, MAN! HAHAHA! I'M FUNNY, AIN'T I! HAHAHA!

Pod- You suck.

Louie did what he did and went back to Olimar. Together they went towards a group of Snow Bulborbs.

Louie: LOOK! HAHA, LOOK! LITTLE POOR DESERTED SNOW- HAHA! SNOW BULBORBS! LET'S- HAHAHA! LET'S KILL THEM! HAHAHA, I'LL KILL THEM WITH MY- HAHA, MY JOKES! THEY'LL LAUGH TO DEATH!

Olimar: MWUAHAHAHA! NO- NO, DON'T! YOUR JOKES- YOUR JOKES SUCK! HAHAHA! OH, MY STOMACH! HAHAHA! IT'S ANNOYING! HAHAHA! OH- HAHAHA!

Olimar threw a Pikmin at he group of Snow Bulborbs. The lone purple that he threw sat there, all alone, after stunning the three enemies. Olimar and Louie just kept laughing.

Louie: HAHAHA! LOOK- LOOK AT THAT GUY! HE LOOKS SO- SO INNOCENT! HAHA, AND HE JUST- JUST KILLED THOSE THINGS FOR NO REASON- HAHA! NO REASON! HAHAHA!

Olimar: YOU'RE- YOU'RE RIGHT! HAHAHA, LOOK AT HIM! HAHAHA, ALL ALONE- ALONE! HAHAHA!

The lone purple sitting on the Bulborbs was talking to himself.

"Why are those two fruits laughing at me? I'm gonna kill them. What did I do?"

Olimar and Louie threw more Pikmin at the Snow Bulborbs and all three of them died. One of them left a treasure behind. Olimar went over to it and swarmed the army around them and the Pikmin carried it under the light that the Pod made. The treasure got sucked in.

Pod- Umm... This thing is worth 200 Pokos, I shall call it the Regenerated Crap. There.

Olimar: RE- REGENERATED CRAP! HAHAHA! THAT- THAT- HAHAHA! THAT NAME SUCKS! HOW ABOUT- HAHAHA! HOW ABOUT-

Pod- Shut up, dammit. Look for the duck.

Olimar and Louie, closely followed by the army, walked past the Snow Bulborbs' carcasses and towards a clearing. While going there, Louie couldn't take it and fell down and hit the floor. He was laughing too hard.

Louie: HELP! GHAAAA! HAHAHA! I CAN'T- CAN'T TAKE IT! HAHAHA!

Then he started saying random things and whistling inexistent orders to the Pikmin behind him. Unluckily though, some of the random whistling really existed...

Louie's whistle (translated)- Kill yourself.

"WHAT?"

"This guy ordered us to kill ourselves! What should we do?"

"Just do it. We'll all be reborn again anyways."

The Pikmin behind Louie suddenly just blew up by themselves. They all died. Olimar slapped Louie.

Olimar: HAHAHA! YOU FU- YOU IDIOT! YOU ORDERED THEM TO KILL THEMSELVES! DUMBASS! HAHAHA! THAT'S- THAT'S NOT FUNNY, IN THE- THE NEXT- GHAAA! HAHAHA! NEXT SUBLEVEL I'M GONNA- GONNA KILL YOU! YOU'RE DEAD NOW- HAHAHA!

Louie: GHAAAA! THEN I'M- NEVER GONNA GO- HAHAHA! GO DOWN THE CRACK ON THE- FLOOR! CRACK! HAHAHA! I'M CRACKING UP! GET IT- HAHAHA! GET IT!

Olimar: THAT'S HAHAHAHAHA NOT FUNNY! HAHAHA NOT- NOT AT ALL- HAHAHAHAHA! GHAAA!

Pod- 40 deaths... Move it!

On the clearing were many enemies. More Snow Bulborbs, a sleeping Red Bulborb with its back turned against the two leaders, and a couple of Skitter Leaves. Olimar and Louie pointed at the Red Bulborb's big butt and laughed.

Louie: LOOK AT THAT BIG THING! HAHAHA! IT'S SO BIG!

Olimar: E- HAHA, ENORMOUS! GHAAAA!

Louie: I BET IT'S FAKE!

Olimar: PLASTIC SURGERY OR SOMETHING! HAHAHA!

Louie: HAHAHA!

The threw the 10 purples at the big butt and the Red Bulborb instantly died. It left behind another treasure. They, while laughing, swarmed the Pikmin at it and after carrying it back, the Pod made that boring speech again.

Pod- 150, the Requested Spoon. No objections or you get the trash can on your head. All the treasures are gone here, get down onto the next sublevel.

Olimar and Louie killed the Skitter Leaves and the Snow Bulborbs and fell down, laughing. BAM!

**SUBLEVEL 1 OVER: DAY 9 (NM)- I'M FUNNY**

_Yeah, short. Oh well. As I already mentioned, I got the next 10 chapters planned out. The FanFiction white is coming on the next chapter, so don't worry! Oh, and please, no more 'Become a Pikmin'. Please, enough, man. There's gonna be a surprise on the next few chapters, so I'll try to update! And you guys, please review. The more you review, the bigger chance you'll have that you'll be included on the surprise... So review! K, I'm almost done here. Umm... KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to **REVIEW THIS FANFIC!**_


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